Infrequently updated consistently funny

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Quick impressions from tonight:

  • Cal-Western has some hot and fun chics!

  • USD has hot and cool chics!

  • Drinking is the best way to get to know some of my classmates

  • Drinking is the only way to get to know some of my classmates

  • Dudes that hate you will say anything to chics they like to discredit you.

  • Telling a chic that “You must have great coochie to keep him coming back” while fun to say is not the most polite thing to say

  • Tom Delay’s pic is so damn funny that it’s ok to talk about it at a bar.

  • Lesbians are fun to hit on (Yes she was definitely a lesbian: not a “She wont talk to me so she must be a lesbian” lesbian)

  • When you need to get to a restroom IMMEDIATELY no one drives fast enough on the highway in-front of you.

  • Seeing a cops car suddenly pull in-front of you has the magical ability to remove pee from your bladder.

  • I don’t know where it goes but it wasn’t on the seat and I no longer felt like I needed to pee.

  • Buying a round of shots in San Diego is as painful as getting a shot in the stomach from a stranger both leave you gasping for air and wondering why you suddenly feel so empty.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.