Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Ah Costco...

To rass! So I took a trip to Costco round about 2pm today thinking that at this time of the day that behemoth that is the source of pleasure to all who shop on a budget and require 600 rolls of toilet paper at a time would be empty. Imagine my shock to see a packed parking lot and a packed store. Does no one in SD work? Anyway I love Costco; I have to say it there is nowhere more fun when it comes to bargain shopping.

Of course Costco in many respects is the devil. I am walking through the store and see a great price on an item and have to force myself not to make the purchase because lets be honest what the hell do I need with 400 dryer sheets? I thought for a moment about picking it up because I figured what the heck I want my clothes to be soft too. Then logic hits me, I currently don’t use dryer sheets and it only takes one sheet per load, when in the next 5 years am I going to do 400 loads of laundry?

But now 10 packets of pizza that I need! After all what is better than loading the freezer to the point where u have to throw out ice cubes because space is needed.

Of course the free samples that Costco gives out also help my shopping experience, it’s like shopping at Brookstone you want to try everything even the things you know you can’t afford or need. So I find myself watching the sharks (it’s the term I have for peeps who just hover around the sample trays) I think it’s ok to wait for a sample that is coming hot off the grill or out the microwave but it cracks me up when peeps get vicious in their pursuit of samples, I saw a guy today basically shove someone out of the way to get at a sample. Come on now it’s free food and it’s a never ending supply no need to act like it’s a prison break. I mean why act like law students around free alcohol at Costco, act like you got some dignity.

And of course no Costco trip is complete without consuming a $1.50 hotdog and soda complete with enough condiments that the hotdog now looks like a fully loaded salad. That’s just how I roll!

3 comments:

Mad Bull said...

You should have bought the dryer sheets then cruised Brands mart and bought about 6 washer/dryers and opened a laundromat! You could put in some sunlamps and sand and also a pool and pitch it as a "Jamaican" laundromat. Play some Bob Marley and Sean Paul and sell Red Stripes and Appleton and make a mint! You could forget about law school and do something worthwhile, like becoming a missionary for Haile Selassie! Opportunity is everywhere, Aarond, and there are none so blind as those who will not see. Think about it!

aarond said...

Hahaha I C that someone wants me to ruin my life.

Dr. D. said...

Saw a yute in Broward Mall who kept going back for samples of some fast food chinese dish (look like sweet and sour chicken) that they were handing out in the food court. Eventually the woman who had the samples said...."Why you doh buy yohself some....you greedy rass!" (Me never know seh is a Jamaican Chiney to rahtid!)

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.