Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Women...

Cot damn: If a man truly ever figures out the mind of a woman and is able to articulately write it down and communicate it to the rest of us fellows: HE DESERVES THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. That would cause more peace on earth than a dozen Geneva conventions or Middle East peace accords. At the same time we are not wholly innocent, because we as men often do things to infuriate the women and then feign ignorance as to the situation. But, it’s still always the woman’s fault. I mean after all if things were the way they should be we men would not be making you mad because you would have just agreed and submitted to our will. So there is a certain young lady that would kill me if she saw this but I have no fear for the morrow since she never reads my blog so I have a good chance of this sliding through.
- As to the women should submit thing (while it would be nice) it’s not truly my feelings (though some of my female readers [one in particular] will see the first part and ignore this disclaimer and attack me).
- Seriously though situations get shady so quickly when men and women argue: peeps feelings get hurt and things get imagined that are truly not happening.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.