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Monday, April 27, 2020

Bachelor Presents - Listen To Your Heart aka "I like your lips!"

I have fought watching this for weeks but oh well, Covid changes everything, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.
Bach does not even pretend – they are ripping this off from "A Star is Born"
If this show had not started in the south I would have been shocked, the country music lane is where I figured the show would lean in to first and it does not disappoint…I would have preferred to be shocked.
We go from Kentucky to Utah if Austin doesn’t pop up soon I do not know my hipster music scene.
RIGHT ON CUE, the third person on the show is from Austin. This guy while trying to show off how spacious the car he lived in was hits his head solidly on it!
You could easily have predicted we were going to Nashville eventually so of course we do.
There is a very young 21 year old on this “Every guy I have ever dated has cheated on me, every guy I’m a one guy kind of gal”.
 
One of the guys who when asked "what kind of music do you do" says "I do singer songwriter stuff" oh that is a genre now? He also doesn't know Obvious Man Chris Harrison's (OMCH) name.
Of course the first person to sing an original song while just getting to meet people is scuzzy and scheming for a kiss "You don't like my lips?" As the girl he tried it with says "It is not even night one and I had to dodge a kiss, it is not even HOUR ONE!"
 
There are currently 12 guys and 8 girls, if by the first rose ceremony a guy is not coupled up he is out…very heteronormative, what if 2 guys coupled up, could they stay?
People are raving about the house as they stand beside bunk beds…that would be my nightmare.
 
The same guy that failed on getting a kiss is talking to a girl when another couple walks by heading to the hot tub as soon as he sees that he tries to get the girl he is talking to go with him to the hot tub and she immediately finds the excuse that she needs to go to the bathroom…the guy in the hot tub also fails to get a kiss.
 
The first date card goes to Ryan and he chooses Jamie, I would be lying if I said I would have recognized their names if the show didn't immediately cut to them.
 
The date takes them to Capitol Records where they meet a producer for John Mayer and they are going to sing his song "Gravity."
 
Matt gets the second date card and asks Mel to come and talk to him first rather than Rudi who he shared the hot tub with. Matt chooses Mel for the date.
The Matt and Mel date has them going to hear singers in what looks like a backyard concert.
 
Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony:
As the guys do the 'group couch sit' I realize I do not recognize more than half of them and I do not mean knowing their names that would be too much to expect I just do not even recognize their faces.
One of the guys (Austinite) breaks out his guitar to sing a song for a girl he pulled from 'Mr. Clean' and tells her it is a song he is working on and ideally he would like to finish it with her – she melts after the song and the makeout occurs.
 
Mel despite her date with Matt is now getting along better with Gabe. So Matt is now going back to try and woo Rudi, Rudi immediately as they sit down calls Matt out for telling her that "I want to take you on the date." Matt tries to gaslight Rudi. Matt now hopes Rudi does not "go and bad mouth me to the rest of the girls" that hope is immediately dashed.
 
Thanks to the "we are artistic" nature of this show we get some great outfits for the rose ceremony.
 
OMCH "and the last bit of advice ladies, Listen to your heart!" BOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
Brandon gets a rose; Mel then gives a rose to Gabe; then Danny gets a rose; then Chris; Cheyenne picks Matt (despite us never seeing her talk to him) Matt in his ITM now calls her "the sweetest girl I have met here" and; Julia picks Sheridan (causing Mr. Clean to put his hands to his lips) and someone in the waiting room to say "she listened to her heart" gag; Jamie picks Trevor despite Ryan taking her on the date to Capitol Records – Jamie "on paper Ryan is perfect but…" sigh; Rudi has the final rose and she saves Ryan "I picked based on who could I see myself falling for? And I could see myself falling for him."

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.