We start this week with a return to the Rose Ceremony and the medical incident with Sarah. While Sarah and Matt walk out for her to get some fresh air we have the remaining girls sitting in place on the podium as they struggle to wait “Now she is getting this really pure and intense moment with Matt…but it is just like she is getting exactly what she wants!” said by Anna about Sarah. I get why the remaining women are NOT HAPPY
Khaylah expresses honesty - she is not questioning that Sarah fainted, but she is annoyed that it happened – She gets a rose.
Roses go to: Mari /MJ/Anna/Kaili and here comes OMCH to tell us “final rose” as the ‘drama builds’ for will it be Marylynn or Victoria BUT there is no drama the show spoiled itself by showing in the previews from last week (before I could get to my remote) that Victoria is on a date this week…Last rose to Victoria. Does Marylynn smash her orchid in disgust?
Marylynn tells us that Victoria is a good actor.
Did Mari’s accent in the morning with the girls sound different than her time with Matt? Am I just too jaded?
OMCH comes in to tell the ladies (and Us) that Matt needs to be pushed…duh. There will be 2 Group Dates and a one on one this episode. The first date card says there will be a surprise.
GROUP DATE:
Matt greets the ladies and says OMCH has all the reins on this date.
The group walks into a small theater set up with Ashley I reading some erotic fiction on the stage it is material from “The Perfect Letter” OMCH’s book. The challenge for the ladies is that they will have to write a steamy scene featuring Matt which they will then read in front of Matt, their peers and a live audience (if it is not the other girls from the show I will be shocked, it cannot be the public - can that be covid safe?) As Ashley goes around to check on the girls who are writing Victoria’s short sample of her story has to be repeatedly beeped.
Time for the performance and my guess was correct it is the rest of the ladies playing the role of audience. Matt goes first and reads his story
, it gets the ladies hearts racing and there are some flushed cheeks and licking of lips.
Among the ladies Anna is first and tells us "this is Chapter 17" of her love story and the chapter is “The Fantasy suite” and I will admit I laughed uproariously at this - “talk dirty to me Matt…he whispers ”you are the only one left no one else is here”...she immediately cums, the end.” I used to love reading our creative writing assignments in class, luckily it was never this steamy.
My fantasy league choice (of 3 still alive) Serena goes up in a sexy black ensemble showing off her assets and hits a fun rhyme “all the things in the past that was [sic] evidently lacking I know my mans [sic], Matt James is packing.”
Katie who brought a vibrator to show Matt night one is no prude and gets the others blushing as she vividly goes into details.
Victoria says “hold my beer” and escalates it, the girls love her story.
At the end of the performance OMCH tells the audience that they now have to go home while the group date girls get to remain, Sarah tells us that it was hard to watch and “every word was like a knife to my heart.” Sarah is NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL! I am guessing the resort’s hot water heater got a break as the cold showers raged on for the rest of the girls and Matt.
Back to the date:
I said episode one that Matt would use kissing when he could not come up with answers…that does not change.
Back to the hotel, a date card arrives and it is for Serena P. this “triggers” Sarah who has “past issues with faithfulness” HOLD ON…the date card shows up issues of faithfulness? Sarah goes to look for Matt which means she interrupts a group date that she is not on…the one on one moment she interrupts is Katie’s and she is not happy.
Sarah says to Matt “Can I steal you for a second?” Matt does not hesitate, there is no push-back he immediately says “yeah.” Victoria sums it up “I think it is disrespectful, yeah I would interrupt my own group date, but I would never interrupt another group date” glad to know she has boundaries.
Sarah’s conversation is not the type that needed to interrupt a group date. While Matt and Sarah are talking Victoria (reasonably) tells Katie to go back and reclaim her time. Matt does NOT stand up for Katie when Katie tries to get her time back instead he lets Sarah tell Katie she wants more time, Katie waits on the sidelines, then has to interrupt a second time to try to get her time back and Sarah gets Matt to walk her out to steal even more time and kisses.
Sarah reading the room with Katie’s anger is afraid that the other girls will also be mad so she goes to the group date girls to tell them that she will apologize for stealing time with Matt…but the girls are not having it.
While Sarah is outside talking to the producers Victoria
goes outside to shade comfort her with a mix of faux sincerity and
questioning of motives. While Victoria is talking to Sarah, Katie walks up like
the Terminator (I loved it). Katie points out to Sarah that nothing she said to
Matt was urgent.
The group date rose goes to Rachael while many of the women are looking on with daggers in their eyes because they did not get time with Matt.
“Time is a commodity here and right now Sarah is like a billionaire and we are all sitting here with a dollar” I think said by Anna, but no one was shown saying the words.
Sarah’s actions cause Serena C to cry and I think “POINTS!”
Serena P ONE ON ONE:
Matt shows up to pick up Serena P., and he sits down to talk to the women about “what happened last night” and then notices that Sarah is not with the group so he goes to find her and if you think this left the other women happy well I have some property in the arctic circle that I think you would love, it is beachfront.
Matt jumps into bed with Sarah, I guess his cold shower did not work
The girls are in the “if she wants to go, just go” or the “she is faking that she wants to leave, she wants him to say 'stay'” camp and this is borne out by Matt talking to Sarah and Sarah claiming she packed her bags to leave in the morning I would love if Matt had said “okay show me the bags.” Sarah gets her kisses that she wanted while the girls all wait downstairs as Serena’s date time gets chewed up.
What a quick flip from Villain Victoria to Sinister Sarah.
When Matt finally comes down he says “I would’ve spent that time with anyone” who is feeling like he thinks Sarah is feeling…I stand by things I said to my Bach watching groups, ‘Matt is soft, and Sarah is not as genuine as she pretended’, I am so happy to be proved right, I enjoy being right much more than I hate being not right (never wrong).
Let us try this again Serena P ONE ON ONE:
SP and Matt go horseback riding. And follow the Bach trope of spreading a blanket in a field for a picnic. As Matt and SP make out some donkeys show up, the producers pushed this “Oh look Matt is getting some Ass…oh!"
Matt had a turtle as a pet as a kid, SP asks “were you a weird kid?”
Evening Portion:
SP asks Matt if he has ever been in love before he claims that if you asked him when he was younger if he was ever in love before he would say “yes” but now he does not think that he has ever been in love before. SP was madly in love with her ex and is “falling in like” with Matt but could see herself “potentially falling in love with you…which is weird.” YES, YES IT IS WEIRD since you have probably spent less than 10 hours total around this dude. Matt is ecstatic that SP might fall in love with him. SP gets the date rose.
Hot tub time and Matt’s trunks have turtles on them, SP immediately notices and Matt yells “I am serious about my turtles.”
Back to the hotel and Sarah is still missing from the group but she shows up once the date card arrives (granted the producers may have forced her to show up for the reading). Sarah tells the group that they know her and she is not like how she has acted and Victoria calls her out “we do not know you” and then to the group “Who is she talking to?” Sarah reminds me of so many people (male and female) in San Diego, this is not a strong look for my city. Sarah - “I hear you and I want to make amends with you ladies”
Victoria - “Why do you think we want to make amends with you?” “She was just trying to placate the situation and I was like you are just such a calculating little bitch. If Matt sends her home I will [expletive deleted] him, because that is so hot that he can see through her bull[expletive deleted] “ “I do not want to speak for the rest of the group; but I do not accept your apology even if you say it 20 more times.”
Katie shows herself to be a moron, Sarah is having a crying one on one with her and telling Katie that she is planning to leave and Katie says that she wants Sarah to stay because if she leaves she does not want Matt thinking “What if?” Then when Sarah tells Katie about her dad’s terminal illness Katie then says “knowing that it changes everything… I missed out on my goodbye with my dad…and I would never want that for you” Katie’s dad died in 2012.
I think Sarah is doing what I do in moments of doubt, I have the reason I know I should do something and the excuses I add to the reason. Sarah says she is going home to her dad but do not forget earlier she said the girls’ erotica stories about Matt were knives to her heart and she spoke about faithfulness issues; she is not cut out for this process but the looming specter of her dad’s demise will make every decision seem even heavier. SHE SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS SHOW, I do not need my entertainment to be at the cost of anyone’s well being.
Sarah goes to see Matt and if you did not believe me above when I told you Sarah is not genuine take note of her telling Matt that the women in the house attacked her for not coming down from her room to speak to them after she invaded the group date. Sarah says she” prayed about it” and she feels like she is “being called home,” not to heaven but to go be with her family. Did you pray about not stabbing the other women in the back on your way out of the door?
Bloopers:
Matt has an attack of hiccups.
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