- Was that title long enough for you?
- Who knew Jolly Ranchers had a soda?
- Is there a faster way to increase the rate of diabetes in this country?
- Why do I have more soaps and shampoos in my shower than most girls I know?
- I have the 2 in 1 Zinc Shampoo for dry scalp; I have the 'sweet' smelling herbal Shampoo and conditioner bottles for the days when I want to smell great; I have the 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash for the days when I am in a bloody hurry cause I decided an extra 15 minutes of sleep was crucial and I cannot waste time using 3 separate bottles; I have not 1 but TWO strawberry body washes of different brands; I have the 'manly' Dial body wash (with the extra moisturizer); I have the exfoliating body wash...and none of that includes the additional stuff stored under the counter.
- Why do I still love watching wrestling?
- Yes I know it's fake, so are sitcoms...I often find this funnier.
- Why are there so many 'paranormal' shows out there?
- Why is 'So you think you can dance' a hit?
- How is it my boy and I willing watched a chick flick?
- It has nothing to do with all the above soaps...a man can just be concerned about his cleanliness
- Why am I the only person in my clique who LOVES ice cream mixed with milk?
- And no...not a milk shake, just a splash or 2 of
ice creammilk (* editor: apparently my subcon was so strong I put what I love most on what I love most...thanks Grace for the catch) on your scoops of ice cream
- How does Paris Hilton have a new show?
- No seriously, how?
- What the hell is wrong with A. The athletic apparel companies and B. my calves that cause the companies to release Calf Compression gear with sizes of large and X-large and the size difference being 14.5-16.5 for Large and 16.5-18.5 for X-large?
- Why does this tick me off?
- Because My left calf is exactly 16.6 unflexed and only goes down to 16.5 flexed and my right is exactly 16.5 - I used 2 different measuring tapes
- So what happens if I buy this, and lose weight while running?
- Or, what if I increase my calf muscle size?
- Both would be good things...but I do not know if I need to get the large size so it fits snuggly or the x-large size so it just fits?
- Why is the bloody size change line exactly at the size of my bloody calves?
- Why couldn't it have been just like the Weight lifting gloves...X-large?
- Yup ladies, you read that right
- I wear big gloves
- No really nothing more being hinted there
- Just telling you in case you are ever shopping for me
- Leather is prefferred
- Why are my friends demanding I watch "Ice loves Coco"?
- In that Vegas ad where the guy gets locked out of his room in nothing but a robe; where is he getting all the cash and ID's to purchase all the stuff and pick up the girl (I am assuming she is NOT a hooker)?
- Why am I watching 'Why did I get married, too?'
- Am I compelled to support black cinema?
- Why are people disappointed with Lebron James?
- Maybe if you were not so desperate to think of him as the next Jordan you would just appreciate his current level of greatness?
- But is it so shocking that a kid that was told he was the greatest since junior high, nicknamed himself the 'King' and never went through the socializing that college brings would shrink in high pressure situations?
- Why am I up at 3:44am when I am giving blood in 9 hours?
- Better yet: Am I a lush because I plan to meet up with alcoholic friends half an hour after donating blood?
- I do get props for scheduling the drinks for after the donation though right?
Infrequently updated consistently funny
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Many questions, few answers or Why would the blood bank lady think I would think about making a donation before noon on a saturday?
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- Cali J
- Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.