Bachelor Recap and Matt's dancing was completely a joke right? TELL ME IT WAS A JOKE!

 

Our legal representative has told us that some of our loyal readers were offended by us calling Katie a moron last week forgetting that this blog Is written in real time with what is on the screen at the time: When Katie told Sarah to stay BEFORE Sarah told her about all the other problems she was having it was moronic, because in the ‘game’ that they are playing the object of the game is to ‘win’ Matt and at that point they barely knew Matt and he barely knew them, they also barely knew each other except as competitors…so yes I stand by calling her a moron, a super nice person can do a moronic thing just like an evil person can do a nice thing, one does not preclude the other.

We start with Matt reminiscing about Sarah leaving and the women on the super couch having a talk…Victoria talks trash about Sarah by saying “the trash took itself out” and Katie tells her to stop and they have a mini tiff.

You might remember that we are in the middle of a group date…the girls and Matt meet up for the evening portion and whew there are some outfits! MJ is the first to grab Matt to go outside and talk; I completely forgot her name until the chyron. Matt’s reaction to Mari asking how he is doing vs how he reacted when MJ asked makes me think Mari is held in higher esteem.

Chelsea has a talk that I want to highlight especially because this show does not touch much on the experience of colored women, she speaks about the emotional aspect of hair and the connection our people have with it. So many of my female friends of color have gone natural in the last few years and there is a big movement towards it but I do not think many people outside of the culture understand what is happening here.

 Back to the house and Victoria requests a sit down with Katie and her mom jeans

 and Victoria demands an apology which she obviously does not get, both accuse the other of being a “bitch.”

I foolishly went for a walk tonight despite a high wind warning of gusts of up to 60mph, at one point my beard was blown so far back it was touching my ears and my breath was shallow and it still was not as dumb as the back and forth with Victoria and Katie…mainly on Victoria’s part but Katie girl, have you not seen this show? Do not get dragged into the muck!

Back to the date and Chelsea gets the rose.

Cocktail Party:

“I have heard that Anna wants to go first (for time with Matt) but that is not happening. I’m Elsa and you’re Anna so let it go bitch, I am going first” – You have got to by now be able to guess that the speaker was Victoria.

I cannot fully decide if I should give Matt credit for remembering the back stories of the women or if this is producer fed info before the start of these one on ones, I hope this is just him remembering, I want this wholesome moment.

Victoria did NOT get the first moments with Matt, but she did start talking to him before they hit the couch. As they sit down OMCH interrupts to pull Matt aside and then in her ITM Victoria looks like she has a massive eye stye.

OMCH and Matt walk past all of the ladies and back out to the main steps where the limos pulled up from episode one. OMCH tells Matt “record response” for women who wanted to meet him and because of that they are having new limos pull up for new women to arrive – That explanation makes no sense, if you had record submissions causing you to add more women than normal why not just bring them all on right away, this was clearly for the shakeup impact. Nemacolin is not the normal Bachelor mansion so space was obviously not an issue. Matt plasters a goofy smile on and fixes his tie for the new arrivals. The women looking through the windows are all convinced that it is Sarah returning to the show.

Out comes Brittany first and her job title is ‘Model’ and she immediately goes in for a big kiss “to make up for lost time.” Brittany sashays her way in. Brittany walks in to an icy reception and says “surprise” and then smartly adds “there are other women coming in with me” (spread that heat) Victoria immediately attacks her calling her a “backup” and in her ITM a “Slore…slut, whore.”

Next out is Michelle a teacher from Minnesota and wow she has a face that looks familiar.

The original girls are saying the arrival of the new girls is “disrespectful” and a “slap in the face” Anna says “I am like having a mental breakdown right now.”

Next out is Ryan a dancer and choreographer..

Kim an ICU nurse gives her name as Kimberly to Matt and the girls but the show’s chryon insisted on ‘Kim’ weird. I chortled at how many people online made similar jokes to "she dressed for Bachelor in Paradise and was shocked when the limo pulled up to Nemacolin."

Catalina is a former Miss. Puerto Rico and wears the sash to make sure you know it! She tells Matt she wants “to be the queen of his universe.” This immediately triggers Victoria who tells her to come over Catalina- “Are you a former Miss?” “I’m Victoria like the queen…so I think I should have that crown” AND SNATCHES THE CROWN OFF CATALINA’S HEAD.

Real talk, the island in me jumped out and in my head I felt the blood rush because I was eagerly anticipating a smack. 

One of the women says “I think you are Elsa royalty tonight, I don’t think Elsa wears a crown” and Victoria says “okay that is fine” and takes off the crown BUT then puts it on the coffee table instead of returning it to Catalina. – Cut back to above when I said Sarah and Katie’s interaction was silly because SEE? More women are here and Matt is now torn about the people remaining and the current new crop.

Anna says that she knows about Brittany because of their circles in Chicago and she is hinting strongly that Brittany is not a good person “she is not here for Matt.”

Khaylah is rocking an Africa necklace, “Yasss Queen” I used to have one of those until it was stolen!

ROSE CEREMONY:

MJ gets the first rose,  then Pieper, Bri, Magi, Michelle (new girl), Mari, (Serena C. crying in an ITM because she got no time with Matt, hold it together my sweet), Ryan, Kit, Serena C (see my dear, I had faith in you, have faith in yourself) Abigail (back to back of my picks), Katie, (now Khaylah is the ITM freak out of the rose ceremony due to frustration of no time with Matt, she is a Nubian princess so I want her to remain, but my competitive nature and fantasy league participation says…”eh”), Victoria gets the “we need drama” rose (or in my world the “I do not think I could be friends with Matt because this is his decision making?” rose),  (Now Anna gets the frustration ITM and the crazy eyes), Lauren,  Brittany ( Anna stares daggers), Jessenia (whew my team rises), Anna (because now that we know there is potential beef there is no way we are losing it), cue OMCH to tell us that “this is the final rose tonight” and it goes to Catalina (oh you thought he was booting a beauty queen? Plus the potential for more Victoria beef?  Silly rabbit).

Ha Anna just said “OGs” and threw up quote fingers, it sounds weird when she says it.

Victoria’s stye is even more prominent in the morning with less makeup, I had an uncharitable thought that it is just her evil trying to escape.

Date card arrives and Serena C reads it…group date “Let’s fall in love” and this group will have Victoria and Catalina plus Anna and Brittany.

Ben Higgins arrives to give Matt counsel, should I point out that Ben is NOT with the woman he left his season with?

GROUP DATE:

And Ben is leading it, telling the ladies that they are going to do an obstacle course.
Rowing in thousand pound pumpkins across a pond, then a foot race in squirrel outfits to drop an acorn in a basket “and carry it like a squirrel”, then another foot race to get to Matt.Then Ben vaporizes, I guess that is what happened.

Immediately I can see that many of these ladies have never rowed Town Lake. Magi for instance has completely gone in the wrong direction. Victoria was the strongest rower, I am not shocked that she knows how to row. Anna could not find her acorn, “but I found Brittany’s and I hid it.” Poor Mari is still in the lake while the others are searching for acorns. Mari wins the challenge.

Evening Portion:

Anna gets the first one on one with Matt and Brittany tries to steal him, Anna rebuffs her even with Brittany trying the “but I just need to talk with him” tact, Anna then freezes up as Brittany lurks in the background. Anna lets Victoria know that there are Brittany rumours, I sense she is chumming the waters hoping a bigger shark will take it to Matt.

Cut back to the house and Michelle is speaking to the OGs and saying they just want respect and right on cue a date card arrives for a One on One date for Michelle.

Back to the date and Bri is getting a kiss from Matt (I really tried to get her on my fantasy team) and the group rose. Once Matt leaves Anna tells Brittany that she wants to talk to her and says she got DM’s from her friends in Chicago about Brittany “Watch out for this girl” and “that you are an escort” Brittany’s defense is that she has had a “boyfriend since I was 16.” Anna somehow manages to say "I apologize" while still committing the crime -  Brittany tells the girls that it is hard for her to be in the situation and so Victoria then says “well get out the house.” This is not a mean girl edit for Victoria, this is a who she is edit, her photo with a Trump flag in the background was not an accident.

Next day Serena C., Jessenia and Kit are talking about Brittany and speculating on her Chicago night life.

ONE ON ONE:

I go off to make a rum glaze for some sugar cookies as Matt tries to tell Michelle that OMCH created their date and it is a scavenger hunt. First clue “take a leap of faith” it is a massive zipline, OMCH is used to white couples. Matt “Michelle finished first” Michelle, “It is good for you to learn.”

The next clue is “any hidden talents” – Michelle is a bit of a contortionist. Then “how many kids” both say “three” then “time to take your love to new heights” and of course it is a hot air balloon. As the balloon rises the women back at the hotel break out binoculars and spy on Matt and Michelle.

A new date card arrives as MJ tells us that Michelle getting a one on one was “straight up disrespectful” with some massive bags under her eyes. The date card says “Are you willing to fight for love” and the girls all realize the implications.

Back to the date –

Evening portion:

Matt and Michelle get to dine in a classic car filled room. While I realize that I probably added too much rum to my glaze as it remains liquidy…but delicious. Then the conversation snaps me to attention, Michelle brings up the pandemic and George Floyd and this is a REAL CONVERSATION. I am so grateful for this moment and a quick flashback to Taysha and Ivan talking about BLM, the franchise has had so much fluff, and there is a strong reason for that, fluff is good, fluff helps with escapism but this dose of reality is necessary to anchor a “reality” show and this is and should be what people talk about on dates, especially people of color inhabiting the world we currently live in. Michelle gets a date rose and then a make-out session in the back of a classic car.

The next morning: Brittany is talking to Michelle and Katie and telling them about the escort rumour. Katie says “people are going to throw stuff out that is not accurate…it is hard here” then asks “did Matt hear that rumour?” This feels like foreshadowing.

Cut to Matt working out shirtless in preparation for the Group Date:

Have I confessed yet that I dated a girl who looks a lot like Serena C (this may be why I have an affinity for her). Mia St. John shows up to show the ladies how to box and to warn them that they will “be fighting in front of a live audience.”

Serena C. says she would have liked to have some of the new girls on the date because it would bring out the competitive side in her and allow her “to beat their asses.”

Of course the live audience is the girls from the hotel who are not on the date. OMCH and Wells Adams are the faux-announcers. “If I was on the date I would punch Katie in the face multiple times  because she has been pissing me off, she would wake up with a black eye” – Victoria with an eye that looks blackened.

Katie claims that because Victoria has been pissing her off she is going to take out her anger on her opponent who happens to be Jessenia…my poor girl gets battered.

Serena C. then comes through for my team and lays a whooping on Kit. Rachael versus Pieper seems fairly evenly matched.

Serena P versus Lauren leads to some clean shots and the fight gets called early but not early enough for Serena to avoid a clean shot to the nose and the need for an ice pack.  

Evening Portion:

Rachael tells Matt that it has been a tough week, and gets a kiss.

Back to the house and Anna and Victoria are 'going mean girl' talking behind the new girls' backs.

Back to the date, the OG girls who call themselves ‘The Varsity squad” are talking about the new girls and Katie speaks up saying the girls are being mean and not giving the new girls a chance. She then goes to find Matt and tells him that “the house just needs to be better, it is a toxic environment. There are some really bad rumors starting about the new girls that could literally ruin their lives, not even exaggerating.” She then tells Matt “I just figure like when everyone is together tomorrow when everyone is in the same room you could address it” and all I hear in my head again is LPB Poody’s “Address it.” There is much to be said about Matt not being previously on this show and not having the usual command someone who has been on the show before usually has.

BLOOPER:

Magi gets Matt to dance and I KNEW IT, EVERYTHING I EXPECTED ABOUT HOW BAD HE WOULD BE IS VINDICATED! Mari says “that’s great I (drawn out)...” while having the plastic smile of someone who sees a kid’s painting that shows decapitation of their teddy bear and they are trying to figure out if all the knives are hidden, complete with Magi’s eyes darting to the side.  I am not ashamed to say I have re-watched the Matt dance, about 6 times and each time paused when Magi’s face is shown watching him in horror.  This was not for the culture!

 

 

 

 

Bachelor Recap or Is Ali in Labour right now?

 

We start this week with a return to the Rose Ceremony and the medical incident with Sarah. While Sarah and Matt walk out for her to get some fresh air we have the remaining girls sitting in place on the podium as they struggle to wait “Now she is getting this really pure and intense moment with Matt…but it is just like she is getting exactly what she wants!” said by Anna about Sarah. I get why the remaining women are NOT HAPPY

Khaylah expresses honesty - she is not questioning that Sarah fainted, but she is annoyed that it happened – She gets a rose.

Roses go to: Mari /MJ/Anna/Kaili and here comes OMCH to tell us “final rose” as the ‘drama builds’ for will it be Marylynn or Victoria BUT there is no drama the show spoiled itself by showing in the previews from last week (before I could get to my remote) that Victoria is on a date this week…Last rose to Victoria. Does Marylynn smash her orchid in disgust?

Marylynn tells us that Victoria is a good actor.

Did Mari’s accent in the morning with the girls sound different than her time with Matt? Am I just too jaded?

OMCH comes in to tell the ladies (and Us) that Matt needs to be pushed…duh. There will be 2 Group Dates and a one on one this episode. The first date card says there will be a surprise.

GROUP DATE:

Matt greets the ladies and says OMCH has all the reins on this date.

The group walks into a small theater set up with Ashley I reading some erotic fiction on the stage it is material from “The Perfect Letter” OMCH’s book. The challenge for the ladies is that they will have to write a steamy scene featuring Matt which they will then read in front of Matt, their peers and a live audience (if it is not the other girls from the show I will be shocked, it cannot be the public - can that be covid safe?) As Ashley goes around to check on the girls who are writing Victoria’s short sample of her story has to be repeatedly beeped.

Time for the performance and my guess was correct it is the rest of the ladies playing the role of audience.  Matt goes first and reads his story

, it gets the ladies hearts racing and there are some flushed cheeks and licking of lips. 

 

Among the ladies Anna is first and tells us "this is Chapter 17" of her love story and the chapter is “The Fantasy suite” and I will admit I laughed uproariously at this - “talk dirty to me Matt…he whispers ”you are the only one left no one else is here”...she immediately cums, the end.” I used to love reading our creative writing assignments in class, luckily it was never this steamy.

My fantasy league choice (of 3 still alive) Serena goes up in a sexy black ensemble showing off her assets and hits a fun rhyme “all the things in the past that was [sic] evidently lacking I know my mans [sic], Matt James is packing.”

Katie who brought a vibrator to show Matt night one is no prude and gets the others blushing as she vividly goes into details.

Victoria says “hold my beer” and escalates it, the girls love her story.

At the end of the performance OMCH tells the audience that they now have to go home while the group date girls get to remain, Sarah tells us that it was hard to watch and “every word was like a knife to my heart.” Sarah is NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL!  I am guessing the resort’s hot water heater got a break as the cold showers raged on for the rest of the girls and Matt. 

Back to the date:

I said episode one that Matt would use kissing when he could not come up with answers…that does not change.

Back to the hotel, a date card arrives and it is for Serena P. this “triggers” Sarah who has “past issues with faithfulness” HOLD ON…the date card shows up issues of faithfulness? Sarah goes to look for Matt which means she interrupts a group date that she is not on…the one on one moment she interrupts is Katie’s and she is not happy.

Sarah says to Matt “Can I steal you for a second?” Matt does not hesitate, there is no push-back he immediately says “yeah.” Victoria sums it up “I think it is disrespectful, yeah I would interrupt my own group date, but I would never interrupt another group date” glad to know she has boundaries.

Sarah’s conversation is not the type that needed to interrupt a group date. While Matt and Sarah are talking Victoria (reasonably) tells Katie to go back and reclaim her time. Matt does NOT stand up for Katie when Katie tries to get her time back instead he lets Sarah tell Katie she wants more time, Katie waits on the sidelines, then has to interrupt a second time to try to get her time back and Sarah gets Matt to walk her out to steal even more time and kisses.

Sarah reading the room with Katie’s anger is afraid that the other girls will also be mad so she goes to the group date girls to tell them that she will apologize for stealing time with Matt…but the girls are not having it.

While Sarah is outside talking to the producers Victoria goes outside to shade comfort her with a mix of faux sincerity and questioning of motives. While Victoria is talking to Sarah, Katie walks up like the Terminator (I loved it). Katie points out to Sarah that nothing she said to Matt was urgent.

The group date rose goes to Rachael while many of the women are looking on with daggers in their eyes because they did not get time with Matt.

“Time is a commodity here and right now Sarah is like a billionaire and we are all sitting here with a dollar” I think said by Anna, but no one was shown saying the words.

Sarah’s actions cause Serena C to cry and I think “POINTS!”

Serena P ONE ON ONE:

Matt shows up to pick up Serena P., and he sits down to talk to the women about “what happened last night” and then notices that Sarah is not with the group so he goes to find her and if you think this left the other women happy well I have some property in the arctic circle that I think you would love, it is beachfront. 

Matt jumps into bed with Sarah, I guess his cold shower did not work 

The girls are in the “if she wants to go, just go” or the “she is faking that she wants to leave, she wants him to say 'stay'” camp and this is borne out by Matt talking to Sarah and Sarah claiming she packed her bags to leave in the morning I would love if Matt had said “okay show me the bags.” Sarah gets her kisses that she wanted while the girls all wait downstairs as Serena’s date time gets chewed up.

What a quick flip from Villain Victoria to Sinister Sarah.

When Matt finally comes down he says “I would’ve spent that time with anyone” who is feeling like he thinks Sarah is feeling…I stand by things I said to my Bach watching groups, ‘Matt is soft, and Sarah is not as genuine as she pretended’, I am so happy to be proved right, I enjoy being right much more than I hate being not right (never wrong).

Let us try this again Serena P ONE ON ONE:

SP and Matt go horseback riding. And follow the Bach trope of spreading a blanket in a field for a picnic. As Matt and SP make out some donkeys show up, the producers pushed this “Oh look Matt is getting some Ass…oh!" 

Matt had a turtle as a pet as a kid, SP asks “were you a weird kid?”

 

Evening Portion:

SP asks Matt if he has ever been in love before he claims that if you asked him when he was younger if he was ever in love before he would say “yes” but now he does not think that he has ever been in love before. SP was madly in love with her ex and is “falling in like” with Matt but could see herself “potentially falling in love with you…which is weird.” YES, YES IT IS WEIRD since you have probably spent less than 10 hours total around this dude. Matt is ecstatic that SP might fall in love with him.  SP gets the date rose.

Hot tub time and Matt’s trunks have turtles on them, SP immediately notices and Matt yells “I am serious about my turtles.”

Back to the hotel and Sarah is still missing from the group but she shows up once the date card arrives (granted the producers may have forced her to show up for the reading). Sarah tells the group that they know her and she is not like how she has acted and Victoria calls her out “we do not know you” and then to the group “Who is she talking to?” Sarah reminds me of so many people (male and female) in San Diego, this is not a strong look for my city. Sarah - “I hear you and I want to make amends with you ladies”

Victoria -  “Why do you think we want to make amends with you?” “She was just trying to placate the situation and I was like you are just such a calculating little bitch. If Matt sends her home I will [expletive deleted] him, because that is so hot that he can see through her bull[expletive deleted] “ “I do not want to speak for the rest of the group; but I do not accept your apology even if you say it 20 more times.”

Katie shows herself to be a moron, Sarah is having a crying one on one with her and telling Katie that she is planning to leave and Katie says that she wants Sarah to stay because if she leaves she does not want Matt thinking “What if?” Then when Sarah tells Katie about her dad’s terminal illness Katie then says “knowing that it changes everything… I missed out on my goodbye with my dad…and I would never want that for you” Katie’s dad died in 2012. 

I think Sarah is doing what I do in moments of doubt, I have the reason I know I should do something and the excuses I add to the reason. Sarah says she is going home to her dad but do not forget earlier she said the girls’ erotica stories about Matt were knives to her heart and she spoke about faithfulness issues; she is not cut out for this process but the looming specter of her dad’s demise will make every decision seem even heavier. SHE SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS SHOW, I do not need my entertainment to be at the cost of anyone’s well being.

Sarah goes to see Matt and if you did not believe me above when I told you Sarah is not genuine take note of her telling Matt that the women in the house attacked her for not coming down from her room to speak to them after she invaded the group date. Sarah says she” prayed about it” and she feels like she is “being called home,” not to heaven but to go be with her family. Did you pray about not stabbing the other women in the back on your way out of the door? 

Bloopers: 

Matt has an attack of hiccups. 

Bachelor recap or Victoria may not be as smart as she thinks she is, but she may be smarter than Matt.

 

Coming off a Zoom chat with the cousins where I made up some Gin concoctions mixed with Mandarins and Kumquats

so I am not sure if I am going to be snarkier or more empathetic, but bring on the shows.

This show really wants you to know that Matt works out, so we get jogging then a Peloton workout (no way that is free advertising) and the obligatory shower scene…as I eat a jelly doughnut.

The ladies rave about Nemacolin and to be fair their new digs look great - Victoria still leaning into “Queen” title “this is my kingdom and Matt is my king.”

OMCH “Because it is a record number of women, not everyone will go on dates…”

I am in a Bachelor Fantasy league and now every time women come on the screen I am annoyed if they were a pick I tried to get…such is the case with Bri who gets the first “One on One”

Bri and Matt:

Cut to hotel. Abigail, Jessenia and Serena C…I am counting on you ladies, I think Jessenia is going to be a strong narrator, fingers crossed.

Victoria is already staking her claim to villain status “we are all here to date Matt, we are not all here to be in a sorority.”

 That’s right Jessenia you tell her SHE HAS BAGGAGE!

Back to Matt and Bri on ATVs and either Bri is wearing no bra, or the world’s worst bra. They have separate ATVs then Matt  and Bri share an ATV with Matt asking if she trusts him and just as I think “that is foreshadowing”…Matt flips the ATV (EVERYONE SAW THAT COMING) and he and poor Bri end up sprawled in the dirt.

They finally make it to a wood fire hot tub which necessitates Matt taking off his shirt to swing an Axe to get wood for the fire…

Bri tells us she wants a kiss so of course she gets a kiss, Maatt is not the type to leave a woman hanging…if anything we are going to get a guy who kisses to avoid talking."I got some mud in my mouth" said by Matt after kissing Bri.

Back to the hotel “I hate this girl power (bleep)” and that would be Victoria. Anna “I thought the Queen Victoria thing was an act at first…but I think that is really her.” Victoria “Do you not know me?” HEIFER NO ONE KNOWS YOU, THIS IS DAY TWO!

Bri in her ITM speaks in a halting pattern that seems like she is trying to read an eye chart that is just too far off in the distance “today...(looks around) I…(squints pauses)…feel (closes her eyes then opens and stares)”

Bri’s horror ‘sob story’ her mom was pregnant with Bri at 13!And the mom is apparently moving on with a new family that Bri does not completely feel a part of.

Matt asks to give a toast at their dinner and then I am pretty sure they held up water glasses.

Back to the house and Victoria telling us that she would only go on a group date for Matt “But I would rather wait for a 1 on 1” uhmm who else would you be doing it for? 

 

As Illeana is reading off the latest date card I feel kind of comforted that some of my picks are on the date because it means they have a shot to see Matt – 18 women will be on the date though!

You can tell the girls who watch the show; as the girls see fireworks going off in the distance they say “they must be making out” (cut to Matt and Bri making out). Victoria goes off on the girls saying that their concerns that Matt is now making out with Bri reflects the feelings she had in the morning and that the girls made her feel like she was incorrect for her feelings, to which the others express confusion regarding the out of left field accusations. Marylynn who we now learn rooms with Victoria is not happy to be sharing a room, but tried to make it work…Victoria instead grabs her stuff to go sleep on the couch – that is one tactic to take.If that whole paragraph seems confusing, trust me watching it does not make it any better.

Victoria (did she see Racist Victoria on Peter’s season and say “NO VICTORIA WILL STEAL MY NAME-CROWN”? because she is a lot) “I literally am a Queen, I cannot wait for Matt to send her [Marylynn] home so that I can have my own room.”

Oh by the way, Bri got her date rose.

GROUP DATE: (Supersized group date)

Another one of the Bachelor tropes; a fake wedding photo session, and Franco will be the photographers which means crazy outfits…on Franco.

Jessenia (one of my picks) gets to go first and she gets a kiss. One of my other picks Serena C. gets to be a narrator (that is a good sign).

Victoria  continuing the villain role (It is not even a villain edit it is a desperate grab for villain status) skips the line of women waiting for their photo shoot and forces her way in for a shot.Matt's face looks more like a hostage video than an anticipatory groom.

Because a wedding shoot is not enough, the girls are going to have to battle in teams for Matt’s time/heart…in a paint balloons and painted bouquet game of capture the flag/(stuffed heart)  “My team is a bunch of Queens and the other team is a bunch of ‘Gestures’” yup you guessed it Victoria said that and the closed captions made sure you saw that she said "gestures".

Though Mari’s team lost she received the “MVB award, the Most Valuable Bride” so she gets to stay with the winning team for the evening portion while the losing team goes home.

The show doing its usual cruel tactics makes sure that the girls giving ITMs on the loser team have to do it covered in paint and grime.

Evening portion:

And some of my colleagues will not enjoy the first conversation as there is talk about the Christian religion.

Jessenia tells Matt that she has dealt with infidelity and starts to cry when speaking about her parents….GIVE ME THE POINTS – I see crying and a kiss!

Back to the house and Sarah gets a one on one date card

Back to the date and Victoria gets her time with Matt and feigns insecurity “can I have a kiss before we go?” of course she gets one…I told you Matt will kiss everyone.

Matt pulls Lauren to the side to give her the group date rose which is a pretty classy way to do it, it prevents having all of the women have to sit there as you tell them to their face why “she is better” or something similar.

One on One with Sarah:

Matt to Sarah “Have you ever been in a biplane before” “Not that small” I am hoping she didn’t hear or just misunderstood.

As they take off and cruise around the grounds, the other girls of course get to see them in the air.

Matt is noting hesitancy when he asks Sarah about her family, but it is not until the evening portion where Sarah tells Matt about her dad having ALS. Matt terms it a selfless act to come on the show to see him rather than staying with her dad…uhmm.

Sarah gets the rose and the hot tub make-out.

COCKTAIL PARTY:

Matt pulls up in a red Porsche.

Abigail gets to pull Matt first and they come up with little signals to let each other know that they are thinking about the other.

As Marylynn expresses to Matt that she was feeling insecure after a tough week, he presents her with a gift of Orchids because he remembered that Marylynn likes orchids and now Marylynn is “on cloud 9.” 

Victoria is staring daggers at the orchids and Marylynn while wearing a dress from the Disney cosplay Strawberry Shortcake edition and tells us “I am an empath.”I cannot tell for sure..are those bags under her eyes or is Victoria sporting some black eyes? Did someone get to clock her?

Victoria now goes to tell Matt that she had to leave her room because of Marylynn “she is just so toxic.” Matt now seems to think that Marylynn is bullying Victoria and he says he needs to get to the bottom of it.  As Matt pulls Marylynn to the side; Victoria tries to rally other girls to her side saying that Marylynn said hateful things to her and the other girls express shock and disbelief. 

Marylynn tells Matt that Victoria is making it all up. 

 

Marylynn goes to talk to Victoria and asks to speak outside but Victoria says “it is freezing outside” that would be a valid reason not to step outside but then Victoria continues to be rude as Marylynn tries to speak to her, refusing to sit beside Marylynn; Victoria insists that they sit across from each other so Marylynn can “look me in the eyes” and as Marylynn begins to apologize (for what I am still not sure) Victoria cuts her off “I accept your apology” but was it an apology or a needed apology?

Rose Ceremony:

Getting roses are –

Pieper, Kit, Magi, Rachael, Abigail (one safe so far), Chelsea, Jessenia (two). Katie, Serena C. (All of mine safe another week) while I crow at my skill in picking, we see Sarah having what seems to be a panic attack (or do we since some of the 'action' is off screen?)

(look at front left she does not shake) and she is helped off the dais by another contestant (I think Bri) and medics are called as we get the dreaded “To Be Continued.” 

 

Blooper reel:

Matt and Bri push the flipped ATV back over and it really serves to contrast their differing heights.