Bacheloretter Recap, please take notes...but not too many if you want to stay.

 

We finally get a 2nd black bachelorette - Full Season. I will admit to being more intrigued by this season than most seasons. Welcome Michelle! 

Got my first and last episode of the season crew with me (I probably over-fed them) so that we can have commentary and jokes.

The show starts with the trope of having kids question the lead about how many boyfriends she is going to have.

Michelle ("M") gets the glow up that all the leads get. 

The show wants to make sure you remember she is not all that black just half and half so she is palatable with your morning coffee. 

Some forced basketball references. 

And the fake pretense that Michelle is doing her own makeup while she uses a makeup brush with nothing on it. 

Clayton is getting the sweet son edit. Feels like someone to draft high in our fantasy league....if you compete against me this is not something you should consider. 

At the start of this I said out loud "the problem with having Kaitlyn and Tayshia is that we get too much of them" and then we get whole segments of them searching the guys' rooms and interrupting the guys 

Ryan's apparently a moron because he lets the ladies search his room while having a script of how to get screen time etc...and so of course they find his script. Thing is when you zoom in on his papers they are really really not that bad, in fact some of them seem to be stuff that would have been provided to the men by producers or things requested from the men by the producers like potential date ideas. I think this man was set up, but he made himself a willing and easy victim. Also he is not new to Bachelor Nation - so this is extra silly. 

Limo entrances: 

Nayte - turns out he has a great African name but "my friends call me Nayte" then drops a terrible pun

"It is better Nayte than never" everything on his suit is short. 

Romeo - a mathematician speaks French asks M to be his Juliet and assures her it will not end in tragedy. 

Jack - Former military member - does he have no job now? 

Clayton - Medical supplies rep - comes with a prop a yard stick so that Michelle can discipline him if necessary. Michelle gets one free swing. 

Jamie - Biotech Ceo - From San Diego. He looks like he might be high. 

Chris G - is a motivational speaker and we all groan on my couch as he spouts trite nonsense.  

Mollique - an administrator

Alec - Engineer. 

Will - Academic interventionist. 

Pardeep - Neuro scientist 

Olu - Analyst. 

Chris S - Commodities broker shows up in a short set suit with a backpack and hops out of a school bus, he clearly should have been on "F-Boy Island" 

Garrett - Tech CEO - claims he broke his foot, so he has a cane, this does not broker feelings that he will be here long-term, no way will the producers want a guy that cannot compete in physical activities.

Casey - Advertising exec - 

Brandon K - From Austin brings beads while saying he wants to see her...heart but clearly was trying to make a "show me your boobs: joke, he also said "this is what we do in Louisiana as the chyron shows Austin. 

LT - Yoga guru comes out in a suit jacket and underwear (tuxedo briefs). 

Rick - Medical sales - From Los Angeles has himself wheeled up under a table with his head popping up to frighten Michelle. 

Ryan - Environmental consultant - rolls up in an "ice cream truck" - but pretty sure that is an 'ices' truck

Michelle said "you did your homework" this is the guy with the notes so there is some strong foreshadowing here. 

Rodney - Sales Rep - comes up in an apple costume to "be the apple" of Michelle's eye, he claims to be a granny smith apple - The moron is wearing RED!

Peter - Pizzapreneur - yells in Italian

and tosses pizza dough into the air and onto the ground...wasteful bastard. 

Daniel - Firefighter - Austin - and repeatedly tells us that he is a firefighter and while telling us his intro was unique and the best because he rolled up on a toy firetruck...

An actual firetruck rolls up and out jumps PJ - Firefighter - Houston.

The ladies who I have over-stuffed ask "why am I getting Carlton vibes?" One of the guys in the house tells Daniel that PJ is good looking and poor Daniel stares in shock. 

Brandon J - Traveling nurse recruiter - rolls up in a bed and gets Michelle to get in bed with him.

The next batch are fast and furious JoMarri has a tear away suit. 

One fellow does a flip

Jo - From Minnesota - Michelle slid into his DMs back in the day but then Jo ghosted her. 

Jamie pulls Michelle first to speak to her while Rick is still stuck in the table. 

Peter tells Michelle that is Italian so he made her cannolis which they share. 

Jo tells M that he had a lot going on while she was DMing him, he owned a property in George Floyd square so he had a tonne going on while the protests were happening so that is why he did not respond to her, Michelle does not fall for it and asks "how do I know that you will not shut down again?" 

Some of the guys are mocking Rick for being stuck in the table,

and it really feels producer driven that he is stuck here since he says "I hope so" when talking about getting out of the table. Finally he gets to talk to M and leave the table. 

Rodney gets called out for wearing red and calling himself a granny smith. 

Ryan takes M for some treats from the ice cream truck...he is sweating profusely. 

M is talking to another guy when Tayshia and Kaitlyn come to tell her about "ice cream Ryan" and his script and his research into teachers, the stuff does not sound that bad based on what they were saying - you are coming on a show, you should research and you should know how not to be a villain. Cut to Ryan being told by another guy that he seems super confident

as Michelle comes up to separate him from the guys to question his honesty. Michelle asks to see the notes.

Ryan claims that his friend's wife wrote the notes for him and they absolutely seem like the type of notes

a friend writes to help you out, the stupidity is that he brought so many AND he snitched on himself.

Michelle needs time to study the notes that Ryan has, and they are voluminous so Ryan has to wait outside of the room while she reviews his notes. 

Michelle says there are too many red flags for this early in the season - so she has to walk him out - she walks him all the way out of the hotel DESPITE THE FACT THEY ARE AT HIS HOTEL ROOM.

Can we quickly contrast how well Michelle did this versus all the 'dramatic' steps Katie did on her season when booting peeps? 

Many of the guys are shocked

Michelle tells the other guys she let Ryan go, and so now they are all warned.

 That whole thing was so dumb, if Kaitlyn and Tayshia cared about protecting M and her journey they would have told her about the notes immediately rather than waiting until Ryan got so far, almost feels like Ryan told the producers he could only be there for a week because he didn't have notes for week 2, so they used up his storyline as fast as they could. 

One of the visiting ladies says about a gentleman "He is dumb looking and is totally my type." 

Nayte gets the first impression rose and the first kiss. A fewer number of kisses than I can remember on any past premiere. 

Poor Michelle is constantly going up and down stairs. 

Rose Ceremony: 

IN AN ATRIUM? 

Roses to Jamie, Leroy, Martin, Spencer,

Rick, Clayton, Peter, PJ, Mollique, Romeo, Daniel, Brandon J, Will, Chris S., Rodney, Alec, Pardeep, Christoper G., Casey, Olu, LT and the last rose is down to (while we get a lot of conversation about Joe) Michelle walks away to take sometime but comes back and picks Joe.