Bachelorette recap or the Men Tell all to each other not the hosts.

 Time for the Men-Tell-All hosted by Tayshia and Kaitlyn. To say Tayshia and Kaitlyn are dressed to stun is too simple, their outfits are eye-catching even if part of what is catching my eye is trying to figure out how to describe Kaitlyn's green velvet look. 

The guys are introduced and Olu is once again in a bright suit, Rodney gets a tonne of fan love. 

Some ABC cross promotion when Will and Peter have the first confrontation and Will says Peter should have gone on "Shark Tank" since he only "wanted to promote his business."

Casey yells that if it was not "about Peter and Pizza" it never came out of Peter's mouth.

Will tells Peter to tell his sister to stay out of his DMs. There are accusations that Will has been slandering Peter via reviews of his pizzeria "Pizza tasted like it was drenched in pool water" which definitely seems related to Will. A (I am guessing fake) process server comes out to serve Will with a suit which Peter says is an example of what will happen to Will "in real life...Rest in Pizza!"

 Pardeep says more to Ryan calling him out for wanting to be viral and carrying notes into the house than he said in 2 episodes on the show. Just in case you forgot this is Pardeep: 

Martin says he lied to Michelle because he felt disrespected. Martin is accused of having a girlfriend throughout his time on the show. 

Olu to Chris S "Don't you ever say I have a low IQ, you are looking at Black Excellence here...I have a whole Masters degree." Olu tells Chris to look him in his eye but that will not happen. 

OH NO "JUDGE STEVE HARVEY"? We are giving Steve Harvey a 'court' show. 

Jamie comes out to a completely silent crowd and some scowls from the ladies seated right behind him. After the recap of Jamie's time on the show is played the crowd is hissing.

You can tell the show really wants Jamie to get hammered because he gets the rare hot seat that extends through a commercial break. The guys lecture Jamie and he equivocates with all his answers. Jamie is accused by PJ of "lying by omission." 

Rick gets some time on the hot seat - he and Rodney are two gimmick guys that probably went further than most would expect just based on their initial introductions.

A covered platter is rolled out and it is a cake replica of Rick's head and the ladies instruct him to take a bit and he takes a massive bite out of the top of the head.

 

Just before it is Rodney's time in the hot seat we get another example of why it has sometimes been problematic having Tayshia and Kaitlyn as hosts,

some of the energy of the show is sucked up by their personalities and dealing with their lives, we get the public reveal of Tayshia and Zak being broken up leading to this awkward transition from Kaitlyn "from one broken heart to another" and Rodney when he makes it to the hot seat says "sorry to hear about that" to Tayshia. Look I do not miss Chris Harrison even a a little bit but the good thing about his blandness was that he was a steward to the show not really a part of the show, he had a divorce during the time of his hosting and it was not a part of the show. So as Rodney gets settled in his seat Tayshia gets up and walks away the best is Kaitlyn trying to show concern on her face as Tayshia is walking away.  Minus the Tayshia drama Rodney has a pleasant hot seat. 

We come back from commercial and Tayshia is beaming to welcome us back, sigh, there was no chance she didn't know the question re her breakup was coming and it just feels so contrived. 

Time for some fun recaps including the guys sculpting 90lb blocks of butter and while everyone is laughing the Jamaican in me is screaming "UNUU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE BUTTER IS AND YUH AGO WASTE IT PON DEM UNTALENTED BRETHREN?"

Shockingly some of the sculptures were actually decent with Nayte's the best (so finally he beat Joe in something). After a clip of Rodney making a ridiculously lucky basketball shot

we get a clearly faked streaker since the show's security let him completely disrobe while saying in falsetto "We love you Rodney" repeatedly, then the streaker gets to parade in front of the guys, the crowd and the hosts before security finally shows up...the same security that is on the stage in a flash if guys look like they are going to fight waited until someone literally took off layers and made it down stairs and jogged around to shake his little bits before apprehending, at least if you are going to insult our intelligence try to make it look real? At least realer than Kaitlyn trying to react to it. 

I as is my wont kept my head down so I did not see who the ladies on Clayton's previews were when it came to the drama but I admit it was tough to not look up when Clayton confesses "I was intimate with both of you" if the show showed who he was talking to that is a big spoiler for the season! 

Michelle comes out and many of the guys say quick bites to Michelle, Jamie of course gives a long winded speech which opens him up for Michelle to smack him down and the crowd cheers her on for it. Jamie might truly be a psychopath and I am intrigued by his inability to give a straight answer, Jamie finally sees that his slash and burn strategy is failing so he gives an apology to Michelle and the guys and finally gets his first applause of the show. 

The Bloopers had me chuckling especially as Michelle's highly competitive side comes out to the point that she fell off a chair trying to catch food in her mouth. 

After Pater gets some promotion by providing Pizza for the cast he and Will "bury the hatchet bro" and hug it out. 

Some of these guys like Pardeep are sneakily tall. 

Bachelorette recap or let's run and jump into this episode.

 The night starts with Michelle ("Mich") and Tayshia ("Tay") walking together for a 'girl chat' about the 4 remaining guys and what Mich needs to look for, the timing is a bit awkward when news has just recently broken that Tay and Zack broke up. Tay is excited for Mich to see the guys in their "true authentic self, you cant hide." 

Kaitlyn tells the guys the most important peeps in their lives are here to see them. 

Brandon is up first; his mom, dad and brother Noah are there; Noah delayed going to the Navy for this...guess the nation's security can wait. 

Brandon's "home town": 

Want to be that run and jump into the arms is going to be a thing?

He takes Mich to a makeshift skate park..."do I look like I am 14 again?" I expect my friend to text me "yes." 

Brandon is looking very awkward skating for Mich, Mich is kind "he just needs to knock the rust off." 

Family: 

Noah takes Mich aside first and raises the generic concern that she is with 3 others...at this point you know what the show is!

Brandon's parents ask him why Mich - he says "the way she carries herself" and her strength. Do we talk about the prevalence of interracial families here with Black Dad white mom? This has flowed straight from Matt's season. 

Brandon's family likes Mich. Mich tells Brandon that "after today it is very clear that I am falling for you." Obligatory make out session. 

Rodney's "home town": 

Ahem - 

Rodney and Mich go apple picking to find the 'first kiss' apple.

"I truly think that Mich and I have really strong chemistry" they do, but there is  more of a fun vibe than the same type of sexual energy that i see with her and the others. 

Family: 
GUYS - white momma, black poppa - did the show seek this out? Granted here it is a step dad but ahem, no way Rodney's biological dad was not black, mom's has a type, you go girl. 

Rodney's mom is in tears Carrie says "Rodney and I are close to being best friends." 

It all went well. 

Joe's home town: 

As the guy remaining who is actually from Minnesota he can actually take her to his hometown and he first takes her to his high school, sounds like Joe was not strong on academics. 

Joe 'surprises' Mich with a prom theme and the decorations have them listed as prom King and Queen.

The couple is having fun they both have a dance move I recognize as the "generic music is playing because of licensing rights so I cannot let loose to any song that I know while being watched by millions so I will just do small movements to convey that I have some hidden energy." 

Family: 

White mom, Black dad, but by now you knew that was coming.

Joe and his dad have a talk that might be the most stilted we have seen on this show. Joe's dad took him aside to talk and this must have been producer driven where they said "you two MUST TALK" so they went to do it but they have NOTHING to say to each other after exchanging pleasantries. 

With his bro and sister in law ("SIL")who I have to also note, is white, I love this show - Joe opens up and says he is ready to propose, the sister in law is driving the conversation "I hope this works out because we will see her in the grocery store" since as she notes Mich lives close to them. With Mich and Joe both present the SIL still is the dominant personality, Joe's bro might as well have just been a picture on the wall.

I now really want to know how tall the bro is, while seated he did not seem that large but once unfurled he is massive. 

Nayte's "home town":

The producers must be happy that Nayte claims he loves to paddleboard since doing that activity means that 2 attractive fit people will be stripped down to swimwear. 

Mich and Nayte are giggly around each other and Nayte name drops Zilker park SHOUT OUT TO ATX! 

Family: 

And you might be shocked but Nayte's family is  A BLACK DAD AND A WHITE MOM (step dad again here) Step Dad is rocking some swag, is that a silk shirt?

Look I don't want you to think my harping on racial makeup is some level of racial animus or resentment I am the product of interracial love my black grandfather married my white grandmother during a time that Jamaica was STILL a British colony (let that sink in) so I enjoy and celebrate interracial love. It just feels weird that somehow the Bach casting committee found so many examples of this specific type of family and it shows my level of mistrust of this show that I feel like someone somewhere in casting said "get me Mulatto".

Before meeting the parents Mich tells us that Nayte never talking to his parents about women and introducing them "are red flags" but we know after Martin and Jamie Mich does not always stop at the first few red flags she sees, she might need red banners. 

Nayte's mom is worried that the couple is just swept up in the moment and not ready for the struggles of everyday couples. Nayte tells his mom that things are "moving at a different cadence, a different speed" and the mom says "that is what worries me" completely reasonable. 

And here we go, finally some tension; Nayte's dad in answering Mich's question "can Nayte get there?" to an engagement at the end of the show admits "I am not sure he can." 

Nayte to his stepdad says everything is great and new and the stepdad says "then how do you know it is real?" Nayte chuckles "You and I never just talk about stuff" his stepdad corrects him "emotions" and Nayte chuckles.

The stepdad says "never ever doubt that I love you, and that I care for you." Nayte "I love my dad to death but I want to be who you are to me for them." "First time I ever told Charles I love him" Nayte and his stepdad are opening up more on this show than any of the couples have to each other all season. The stepdad says out loud what I have been thinking all season "she is definitely more mature than him...but he will get there." 

Post the dates:
Bri and Serena come to visit Mich and this was slightly spoiled for me (shout out Lindsay) even her 'best friends' are the products of interracial relationships. Turns out going into the season Mich told the ladies she didn't think the process would work so she is eating her words. 

Rose ceremony: 

Mich says she was hoping for more clarity coming out of the hometown dates. Mich is scared that her heart could get broken by picking someone at the end who is not there for her...feels like a Nayte reference. 

This is a good looking final 4, and feels like it will be a strong example of "black don't crack" Rodney looks 'old' by comparison to this line up and he is not old looking at all. 

The roses: Brandon,  Nayte then Joe, which means that Rodney has to leave, keep your chin up homie, you are going to get a million DM slides from women who love apples. 

The teacher in Mich slides out as she lets Rodney go "I know we had conversations about you being the underdog you are not the underdog...just relationships with others grew quicker." For a half second I thought Rodney was going in for a kiss on the goodbye. 

Also, this is how the show is trying to portray Clayton for next season: 

Bloopers: 

Rodney showing his goofy side that makes him fun to be around but I wonder if it hurt him overall with Mich because he would just be the goofy fun side kick as they play around with making a joke cooking show - "How bout them apples."