Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, November 02, 2009

Time for a blog, it has been too long, and my eye is hurting so why not

I cannot read any more cases because my right eye is so irritated I can barely look at pages, sorry for any typos but typing this with one eye open, sometimes both eyes closed and going from muscle memory.

It has been ages since I posted a blog.

Mini rants:
NEVER FLAKE ON ME, NEVER, COT DAMN IT EVER...but if you must, have a pretty damn good excuse, and communicate early and often. Being 2 hours late and then providing an excuse after you receive a call is unacceptable

Took a blow to the throat this weekend that makes it difficult to talk...if u know me, u know that must be torture.

Went out for Halloween, probably wore my laziest costume EVER. Ended up in WE HO, where 90% of the gay guys in SO CAL were, and definitely 100% of the aggressive gay guys were located.

No fights on my end, did encounter an overly aggressive guy, trying to step to my female friend that I was with. He came up and immediately hugged her, I thought at first he knew her, then quickly sensed the awkwardness of the situation. Thing is the kid looked like he might weigh less than 120, and I do not mean 120 like a boxer that packs a punch, I mean 120 like a guy that just does not gain weight. I am pretty sure the young lady could have taken him, but what would have been the fun in that? I gave the most gentle of shoves (to make him step back from her) and could feel the kids whole body shift under my arm. Would have been interesting to see her take him on.

Shout out to the outfits of my companions, very sexy, very wasted at the Abbey!! See above re 90%.

Our colleague that missed out would have spent half the night trying to conceal his crotch due to the scarcity of clothing of our friends. I took a pix but had to delete it. Out of respect to friends and fear of my girl...kidding re fear!

Cot damn, I might have to go to the doc, I really am starting to feel severe pain from this eye. Just great, I am going to walk in, barely be able to talk and just let them scream in horror at how swollen and red my eye is. I just pried it open to take a pix with my cell (too lazy to walk to a mirror) it looks nasty, and it is leaking...not sure what the hell happened. Wonder if I scratched my lens again.

Going to Vegas at the end of this week and yet, I am pretty certain I am just going to spend the weekend sleeping in the hotel room...not feeling it, and kind of worried about the party we are going to!!!

I actually carried a friend of mine out of the bar on Saturday, he blacked out so completely he had no recollection of meeting myself or the girls, or that we even hung out for a few minutes. To his friend Carol (I think that was the name) for the 20th time "OK I HEAR YOU WE ARE COMING OUTSIDE THE CLUB" HAHAH, poor girl seemed so stressed on the phone, and I was trying to hold my friend up with one hand, while trying to use his cell phone to talk to his friend...good times.

I ate way too much candy this weekend. I stepped on a scale last week and realized I have got to go back to working out...I blame the girl (ez I know). I tipped the scale this weekend at the gym at a clean 224lbs. Nope not a misprint, eye or not I made sure to type that one slowly...I WEIGH 224lbs.

So today for lunch I had steak and eggs, protein for the lift that I am going to do tonight. Tonight's dinner will be fried rice, now I know that does not sound healthy but trust me, it is how I lose weight, I dropped 40lbs in 6 months doing things like that and I will do it again.

If I go to Jamaica this heavy my parents will disown me.

Speaking of disown me, putting out an APB for a friend that used to live in America, moved back to Jamaica and has not said a word to me since.

Ok have to stop, I can barely sit up. Going to flush the eye with solution, if that does not work, I will have to scrap gym plans for tonight...and seriously at 224, I need all the gym time I can get!

Selah,

1 comment:

Lyoness said...

1. if you lose someone in vegas, check the roof. and avoid tiny asian men w/ entourages.
2. you always blame the girl. QUIT EATIN!!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.