Time for a blog, it has been too long, and my eye is hurting so why not

I cannot read any more cases because my right eye is so irritated I can barely look at pages, sorry for any typos but typing this with one eye open, sometimes both eyes closed and going from muscle memory.

It has been ages since I posted a blog.

Mini rants:
NEVER FLAKE ON ME, NEVER, COT DAMN IT EVER...but if you must, have a pretty damn good excuse, and communicate early and often. Being 2 hours late and then providing an excuse after you receive a call is unacceptable

Took a blow to the throat this weekend that makes it difficult to talk...if u know me, u know that must be torture.

Went out for Halloween, probably wore my laziest costume EVER. Ended up in WE HO, where 90% of the gay guys in SO CAL were, and definitely 100% of the aggressive gay guys were located.

No fights on my end, did encounter an overly aggressive guy, trying to step to my female friend that I was with. He came up and immediately hugged her, I thought at first he knew her, then quickly sensed the awkwardness of the situation. Thing is the kid looked like he might weigh less than 120, and I do not mean 120 like a boxer that packs a punch, I mean 120 like a guy that just does not gain weight. I am pretty sure the young lady could have taken him, but what would have been the fun in that? I gave the most gentle of shoves (to make him step back from her) and could feel the kids whole body shift under my arm. Would have been interesting to see her take him on.

Shout out to the outfits of my companions, very sexy, very wasted at the Abbey!! See above re 90%.

Our colleague that missed out would have spent half the night trying to conceal his crotch due to the scarcity of clothing of our friends. I took a pix but had to delete it. Out of respect to friends and fear of my girl...kidding re fear!

Cot damn, I might have to go to the doc, I really am starting to feel severe pain from this eye. Just great, I am going to walk in, barely be able to talk and just let them scream in horror at how swollen and red my eye is. I just pried it open to take a pix with my cell (too lazy to walk to a mirror) it looks nasty, and it is leaking...not sure what the hell happened. Wonder if I scratched my lens again.

Going to Vegas at the end of this week and yet, I am pretty certain I am just going to spend the weekend sleeping in the hotel room...not feeling it, and kind of worried about the party we are going to!!!

I actually carried a friend of mine out of the bar on Saturday, he blacked out so completely he had no recollection of meeting myself or the girls, or that we even hung out for a few minutes. To his friend Carol (I think that was the name) for the 20th time "OK I HEAR YOU WE ARE COMING OUTSIDE THE CLUB" HAHAH, poor girl seemed so stressed on the phone, and I was trying to hold my friend up with one hand, while trying to use his cell phone to talk to his friend...good times.

I ate way too much candy this weekend. I stepped on a scale last week and realized I have got to go back to working out...I blame the girl (ez I know). I tipped the scale this weekend at the gym at a clean 224lbs. Nope not a misprint, eye or not I made sure to type that one slowly...I WEIGH 224lbs.

So today for lunch I had steak and eggs, protein for the lift that I am going to do tonight. Tonight's dinner will be fried rice, now I know that does not sound healthy but trust me, it is how I lose weight, I dropped 40lbs in 6 months doing things like that and I will do it again.

If I go to Jamaica this heavy my parents will disown me.

Speaking of disown me, putting out an APB for a friend that used to live in America, moved back to Jamaica and has not said a word to me since.

Ok have to stop, I can barely sit up. Going to flush the eye with solution, if that does not work, I will have to scrap gym plans for tonight...and seriously at 224, I need all the gym time I can get!

Selah,

"Tell your girl to stop yanking on my carrot!"

When your costume allows you to start a conversation with the above words you know that the night is going to be FAN-wait for it -TASTIC!

I truly believe that the fact that so many girls dress 'sluttily' in their regular nights out, that Halloween has been damaged as the "slutty night out." Kind of along the lines of, if you have top quality wine every night it is hard to be impressed by top shelf wine on a weekend. Well, if girls are constantly showing it all off, on a night when the showing it off comes with a garish color pattern, you tend not to be so shocked by it.

In fact a young lady tonight was literally wearing lingerie and for a while I thought it was just a dress.

So rolling out with my boy John (J.lo the tall Azn) was a bit of a treat tonight since I had a built in wing-man and someone who is just as willing as I am to crack a joke, no matter who is in front of us.

(an aside- John is clearly Asian, and if you have seen me [I am clearly black] this white chick came up to us, started flirting, then dropped the bf bomb which of course meant that I started tuning out but then she said something that dragged me back into the convo..."Hey I am going to tell you a joke, I hope you do not get too offended" at this point I knew it was going to be a bad and probably racist joke, she did not disappoint. I have no clue what makes peeps think it will be cool to drop that to peeps they do not know...to John's credit he seemed to take it well...meanwhile I am half lecturing her but in mid sentence trail off cause some girl grabbed me by the tail and told me we had to take a picture - good times)

So I have discovered, girls cannot resist fuzzy out-fits! I have also discovered that fuzzy out-fits cause you to sweat out pounds of fluid. I came home and the stuff I wore to protect my skin from the costume was dripping wet!

I never understand peeps who need X to have a great time in the club. If E is the only way you are going to have fun at a party, maybe you should not go to the party. Nonetheless, watching this kid go nuts in the bar while on E was an amazing experience and it brought a lot of fun to the proceedings, even if some of it was wondering when he was going to pass out.

It was also worth the trip to see that John has as bad a time at reading signals as I do. Some chicks made eyes with us, and neither of us knew what to do...good times!

My Halloween Costume

So I finally picked up my Halloween costume. I originally wanted to go as Pooh Bear (I loved the books as a kid, and if you did not like to walk around talking about rumblings in your tummy and dreaming about getting your hand stuck in a honey pot, or wondering if you could get stuck in a hole cause your baby fat was rounding out nicely ---then you did not live) but that plan fell apart when a good pooh costume became impossible to find and cost prohibitive to have one sent to me b4 the first set of parties that I will be hitting up.

So I picked up a home-made costume from La Mesa (by the way La Mesa is barely San Diego, I do not care what their urban planners say) and I like it because it is simple and I am not the biggest fan of having to dress up, hence I was going with the simplicity of just throwing on a Pooh costume.

I like the costume but there is one MAJOR PROBLEM...how on earth do I pee when wearing it? This is not even a lift the leg up and go costume, or a roll down the front flap discreetly like some of my other costumes. This is a full on, you have to take this sucker off completely to micturate. Now I know for most peeps this would not be a problem, you would just hold it all night, but for me this is a CALAMITY!

Here is the problem: My body cannot hold alcohol, all my friends know, the minute I drink any alcohol I immediately have to relieve myself...it is already looking like a dry H-ween for me, either that or it is going to get really awkward in the men's room when I start stripping in front of a urinal, if I cannot get a stall. I just have to remember not to tap my feet next time I am in there.