Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Halloween Costume

So I finally picked up my Halloween costume. I originally wanted to go as Pooh Bear (I loved the books as a kid, and if you did not like to walk around talking about rumblings in your tummy and dreaming about getting your hand stuck in a honey pot, or wondering if you could get stuck in a hole cause your baby fat was rounding out nicely ---then you did not live) but that plan fell apart when a good pooh costume became impossible to find and cost prohibitive to have one sent to me b4 the first set of parties that I will be hitting up.

So I picked up a home-made costume from La Mesa (by the way La Mesa is barely San Diego, I do not care what their urban planners say) and I like it because it is simple and I am not the biggest fan of having to dress up, hence I was going with the simplicity of just throwing on a Pooh costume.

I like the costume but there is one MAJOR PROBLEM...how on earth do I pee when wearing it? This is not even a lift the leg up and go costume, or a roll down the front flap discreetly like some of my other costumes. This is a full on, you have to take this sucker off completely to micturate. Now I know for most peeps this would not be a problem, you would just hold it all night, but for me this is a CALAMITY!

Here is the problem: My body cannot hold alcohol, all my friends know, the minute I drink any alcohol I immediately have to relieve myself...it is already looking like a dry H-ween for me, either that or it is going to get really awkward in the men's room when I start stripping in front of a urinal, if I cannot get a stall. I just have to remember not to tap my feet next time I am in there.

2 comments:

Swiffer Sheet V said...

I can't wait to see it. A naught school girl and a mysterious costumed black man...I guess you will be the DD since I will be wasted beyond no return. Remeber been 3 weeks since any alcohol.

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.