Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, November 01, 2007

"Tell your girl to stop yanking on my carrot!"

When your costume allows you to start a conversation with the above words you know that the night is going to be FAN-wait for it -TASTIC!

I truly believe that the fact that so many girls dress 'sluttily' in their regular nights out, that Halloween has been damaged as the "slutty night out." Kind of along the lines of, if you have top quality wine every night it is hard to be impressed by top shelf wine on a weekend. Well, if girls are constantly showing it all off, on a night when the showing it off comes with a garish color pattern, you tend not to be so shocked by it.

In fact a young lady tonight was literally wearing lingerie and for a while I thought it was just a dress.

So rolling out with my boy John (J.lo the tall Azn) was a bit of a treat tonight since I had a built in wing-man and someone who is just as willing as I am to crack a joke, no matter who is in front of us.

(an aside- John is clearly Asian, and if you have seen me [I am clearly black] this white chick came up to us, started flirting, then dropped the bf bomb which of course meant that I started tuning out but then she said something that dragged me back into the convo..."Hey I am going to tell you a joke, I hope you do not get too offended" at this point I knew it was going to be a bad and probably racist joke, she did not disappoint. I have no clue what makes peeps think it will be cool to drop that to peeps they do not know...to John's credit he seemed to take it well...meanwhile I am half lecturing her but in mid sentence trail off cause some girl grabbed me by the tail and told me we had to take a picture - good times)

So I have discovered, girls cannot resist fuzzy out-fits! I have also discovered that fuzzy out-fits cause you to sweat out pounds of fluid. I came home and the stuff I wore to protect my skin from the costume was dripping wet!

I never understand peeps who need X to have a great time in the club. If E is the only way you are going to have fun at a party, maybe you should not go to the party. Nonetheless, watching this kid go nuts in the bar while on E was an amazing experience and it brought a lot of fun to the proceedings, even if some of it was wondering when he was going to pass out.

It was also worth the trip to see that John has as bad a time at reading signals as I do. Some chicks made eyes with us, and neither of us knew what to do...good times!

3 comments:

Swiffer Sheet V said...

Sounds as though your night was better than mine. I had a guy friend texting me to hang out at 2 am and he has a girlfriend. I reminded myself nothing good happens after 2 am and told him no. Why does this shit happen to me?

Crankyputz said...

Ohh fun nite...but I bet I have better pictures

Jdid said...

sounds like fun!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.