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Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Bachelorette 2nd night recap, hey girl, no not you, your friend that was standing beside you!

Before we continue this extravaganza let's take a moment to review last night, we had 2 Bachelorettes, a bunch of dorks and one guy that made me so uncomfortable watching his actions that I was genuinely concerned he was getting close to a date rape.

I tried hard to analyze the guys last night and I came to the conclusion that many of these guys remind me of this 'friend' I have, he makes everyone around him uncomfortable, girls who know him refuse to go home with him even though no one expects him to do anything but there is just an awkward feeling. He is one of those guys that the more you get to know him the more you dislike him. The majority of my friends hate him to the point that they wonder why we still hang out, most of the peeps in my social sphere have requested that I warn them if he will be at a party or bar before they show up...he reminds me of a tonne of the guys on this show. They probably have a few really good friends, but the majority of people in their social sphere probably secretly (or not so secretly) hate their guts and leave parties a lot faster when 'that guy' shows up.

On to the circus:
Last night we left off with Britt being the more confident of the 2, this show loves to try to swerve us so... I have been predicting Kaitlyn (K...yes I am too lazy to type her full name every time) since the announcement at the end of the Bachelor and I will hold fast to that.

Chris walks in to tell Britt in an unnecessarily slow and cruel manner that she is not the Bachelorette, there is no good way to tell someone this but "the majority of the men have chosen one woman who they can hopefully see a future with um Britt, unfortunately you are not going to be the Bachelorette" THAT IS SOME AWKWARD ASS MESS! This show as I dubbed it last night has truly become the Ratchette. Not only are you booting Britt but you had to make sure she DEFINITELY knows "THEY DO NOT SEE A FUTURE WITH YOU" the harshness of this is foolish and takes the sheen off an already fading rose.


To throw some more salt in the wound and to remind us she was rejected in the grand tradition of this show, Britt has to leave in a limo and do a backseat interview like the typically let go contestants have to. ABC pipes in some slow sedate music with a featured piano to let you know this moment is sad...stuff it producers.

Chris tells K that she is now the Ratchette for this season, they share an awkward hug

and then Chris reminds K that "the job" of the Ratchette is to go and cull the herd so she still has to go through a rose ceremony. I am helping my friend with his business proposal while watching this...I think that I should commit to one or the other, but I just cannot commit full brain potential to this show.

The healer is having a hard time with the cocktail party, he claims he came in with the intention of devoting himself to Kaitlyn then he met Britt and his heart moved to her and now he does not know what to do...let me help - GET A JOB HIPPY.

One idiot tells K that he voted for Britt, she tells him that she is very happy he told her that, I would have taken that secret to my grave...no way she can ever marry you now.

 Other idiots are telling/reminding the other guys that they too voted for Britt. Why? This is why women so often call men dumb - these moments.

One guy plays the shy guy role then moves in for the kiss I knew he was faking that routine. KISS COUNT ONE.


K keeps repeating the part of the show that I hate; she now has to wonder how many of the guys are disappointed that she is there. It would be like going to a party and then realizing that they meant to invite your dad who has the exact same name as you...NOT A PERSONAL STORY...I swear...just because my dad and I have the exact same name does not mean this story is PERSONAL...I SWEAR

K in her way while presenting the first impression rose tells Shawn that she is really attracted to him. KISS COUNT TWO. She becomes really giddy...oh just watch the clip, my love for her is gone!


The rose ceremony begins and I am trying to see how fatigued the guys get while this process goes on, I know this thing takes awhile and you can see so many of these guys have the bloodshot eyes with circles that are always a dead giveaway of drinking and late nights (it is a bit harder to tell on about 2-3 guys but I leave you to guess why). The healer gets a rose, guess the spirits told him to stay. As is now becoming a tradition on these shows, someone breaks rank and asks K to talk to him in private.
The guys left behind are wondering if he is trying to talk his way into a rose, but instead he is telling K that he is leaving and going off to find Britt.


Chris tells him that he will help him to find Britt...makes me wonder if there is going to be a side plot to this season with guys going to find Britt wherever she is or any time that K cuts them. Could Britt be running a bootleg side Ratchette abc.com only show as the real show continues on TV...This could be a thing people, let's make it happen.

The idiot that told K that he voted for Britt actually got a rose, K you sadden me girl, has this show already infected you? Was it the look?

You can tell the show went on for a bloody long time because as the rejected suitors leave it is bright daylight outside.
The law student stripper got booted - I take great joy in that!

The season on promo shows a lot of aggression and a lot of kissing and Nick V showing up to extend his 15 minutes of fame.

Just like that my crush on her gets crushed completely (I know you see what I did there)


We also get a hint that K may be hooked up before the fantasy suite, nope no may be...they actually show it - K tells us and the guys that she had sex with one of them.

We end with Brady travelling to Britt's door to knock on it and see...next week. 

1 comment:

Blogger said...

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.