Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Bachelor goes to Wisconsin

We start with the girls continuing the plan from last week of criticizing Corinne directly to Nick. Even OMCH takes Nick aside to talk about Corinne but there is no resolution before the rose ceremony. Typical last rose Drama before Corinne gets the final rose. 2 of the girls who were sent home were girls that I constantly confused for each other, so maybe Nick did the same?

Corinne decides to make a toast for the group, the group stares daggers at her. To me Corinne tries so hard to be sexy and yet I do not find it sexy at all. Yes she has worked hard on her body and her looks but (I must be getting older) I am not enticed by it at all.

The rental must be over on the Mansion, the group is now off to Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Nick meets up with his parents and we have to pretend that he has never talked to them about this stuff before.

Danielle L gets the one on one date.

While I watch this, I am working on my sweet and pungent chicken recipe, too many online sources want to 'correct' my search and instead show sweet and sour chicken instead - this is how bored I am by Nick's date. Even the clearly staged moment of running into Nick's ex didn't provide any spark. Danielle's evening sob story is that her parents divorced. Daneille like stops...a third of the...way sentence!

A date card arrives back at the hotel so the girls get to find out that Corinne is on a group date and Raven gets the one on one.

Danielle gets the date rose that "solidifies the way I see this relationship going." They go to finish the date at a Chris Lane concert (yeah I do not know who he is) but what caught my eye is that the show had to blur Danielle's dress as she walked in right after I noticed to myself "that dress is risky."

The group date has the girls go to a dairy farm and come upon Nick bottle feeding a calf. Corinne is not happy with the group date. 95% of the milk in Wisconsin is made into cheese, and you thought this show wouldn't teach you something. The girls are doing a day in the life of a dairy farmer. Corinne of course voices in her confessional that she is not able to do any chores especially farm chores, her 'nanny does the chores.'

Nick is unable to get a cow to produce any milk, one of the girls takes that as a sign that Nick is unable to handle teats. The girls then have to muck out a stall, so Corinne walks out of the date and goes to sit alone. 

Corinne plays with her bosom a lot, I mean a whole lot, she will punctuate sentences by grabbing her bosom and shaking, she tells us that she is a corn husk and that you have to peel the layers to get to the golden corn...I think she might have wanted to be the corn but not the corn husk but hey.

Vanessa's kids and co-workers created a 'book' for Nick and not for the first time in 4 seasons have I wondered if Nick is a proficient reader.

Corinne decides to talk to the group and she is immediately called out for sleeping through a rose ceremony. Corinne says "Michael Jordan took naps, Abraham Lincoln took naps" well yup she got us all.

Raven apparently forgets that Danielle was with Nick earlier in the episode since she says "I feel very privileged to be the first girl to get a one on one home town date with Nick." Nick says this is a "realistic date for see things I would do when I come home to visit my family." Because of course Nick gets to go to his little sister's practices all the time with a date and a bunch of cameras. Raven gets to meet the parents and while Nick's dad is asking her about her name she does not look him in the eyes even once. Nick's sister scores a goal...they didn't rig youth soccer did they? They all go to a skating rink- where Bella questions Raven about her intentions. I hate myself that I immediately recognized the Sixpence none the Richer song 'kiss me' instantly from the first chords as they skated around the rink, I will claim that it is because they are a Texas band.

Raven's evening sob story is that her boyfriend cheated on her and she drove miles to go and catch him in the act which resulted in her beating up a naked girl and attacking her naked boyfriend. Raven gets the date rose.

Cocktail party:
And Danielle L who already has a rose is the first to take Nick aside, this causes girls to out loud voice their concerns and annoyance. Corinne and Lacy are mad that Taylor interrupted Corinne's time with Nick oh the irony, so Corinne decides that she needs to take Taylor aside to tell her what she feels about her. Taylor is clearly trying to measure her response to Corinne. Corinne reminds us again that she runs a multi-million dollar company (that her parents own). And we are 'To Be Continued.'

No comments:

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.