This might be the latest I have gotten to a season of the
show, but come on it is a Black Bachelorette I am not going to give up on this
season. So no matter how long it takes I am going to finish this show.
It is still so weird seeing this many brown peeps on a
Bachelor-franchise show.
Lucas is already the enemy to many of the guys and
apparently has a long simmering tension with Blake.
The guys get to meet Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis and they
are as raunchily fun as you remember. The guys have to do a ‘Daddy material’
challenge, first pretend to change a baby, then attach a baby bjorn and run
with the baby to then vacuum a strip, then get to a clogged sink to pull fake
hair, then find a ring that fell into a filled sink, then set a table, then get
a bouquet and run it back to Rachel. Lucas cheats to win, including throwing a
stiff arm to Kenny King (kid you are crazy to do that to a wrestler) and tried
to get Ashton to do his foolish “whaboom” sound to which Ashton deservedly
passes and looks at him with disdain. Back to the stiff arm, Kenny looked like
he was two steps away from putting Lucas 6 feet under.
Dean gets the date rose and a kiss that surprises Rachel.
Peter gets the first one on one and Rachel is flying with
him to Palm Springs, she then tries to trick him that the date is not going to
be a one on one but instead a 2 on 1 turns out to be her dog (which I predicted
but had the advantage of seeing Copper with Rachel enough to guess that would
be the second ‘person.’ They go to a ‘Bark Fest’ a goofy dog centric pool
party, Peter easily impresses Rachel.
Back at the hotel a group date card shows up and the only
phrase on it is ‘Swish’ and the black guys react a lot more excitedly than the
white guys…
Back to La Quinta (yes this blog is personal so let me just
say, I loved staying in that resort) and the one on one. They talk about their
big incisors and tooth-gaps they swap ‘power stories’ about it, I didn’t notice
gaps on either of them until they mentioned it. He gets the date rose and a kiss.
I should not be this tired but I am struggling to stay awake
during this episode, it better pickup.
Group date time and Kareem Abdul-Jabar shows up to help
coach…I think. Kareem tries to associate basketball with love, it was a
tortured analogy. Anyway the part that matters, the guys are going to play
against each other infront of a crowd. These guys are laying bricks like crazy,
even after doing shimmies and stylin’. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Safe to say…I fell asleep all of those ‘Ks’ there were 11
pages of them! Hahahah during the game! I didn’t even make it to half time. So
I had to restart and got to see Demario dominate the game, but then his team
lost…but that will not be his only L tonight. Rachel is doing a meet and greet
with fans after the game and one fan Lexi lingers to meet her last (sure,
nothing staged here). Lexi tells Rachel that up until she saw Demario on the ‘After
the final Rose’ she thought she was dating him. Demario is hanging out with the
fellows after the game and Rachel comes in to the locker room to get him, he
and the others think this is going to a “hey you get the game day rose” or an “Hey
you were the MVP” type of thing. But instead, he gets to meet his
ex/current/smash buddy girl, and it ends with Rachel telling him to “get the
[bleep] out.” She is so annoyed/crying that she avoids Obvious Man Chris
Harrison and the producers and runs into the bathroom. She eventually tells the
remaining guys to make sure to just be there for her.
One by one the guys use the disappearance of Demario to step
up; Josiah telling Rachel that he was disgusted by it gets to make out with
her.
During the cocktail party portion as Rachel is talking to
all of the suitors DeMario shows up on the outside of the property so security
gets OMCH who goes and gets Rachel and tells her that the option is there for
her to talk to him, so of course she goes to talk to him: The guys hearing that
DeMario is outside rise en masse to go and confront him and we get the dreaded “to
be continued.”
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