Bachelorette recap or here comes the race baiter from the south

We start again with Lee and Eric arguing – (If you look Lee up you will find that he is a race-baiter, but the guys there may not have known that but I want to think they sense it) – Josiah notes that Lee is doing things that make him uncomfortable; when Lee says “I’m gonna have problems with some of these guys in here” it makes me think he means ‘black guys.’ So of course he interrupts a black guy’s time with Rachel.

Listening to the guys try to decide if someone means quarks, quirks, or corks gives me life. 

Dean straight up calls Lee intolerant in his ITM and notes the only peeps Lee seems to have a problem with are the ones who he didn’t grow up with in his cultural sphere.

Kenny calls Lee out and you can see Lee trying to goad him into doing something more serious.
Rachel points out the fact that she is going to face criticisms for her choices just because she is a black woman. 

Lee of course gets a rose…feels like a producer rose. 

The crew travels to Hilton Head…South Carolina, right after racial tension. 

Dean gets the one on one date:

Dean who is terrified of heights, is now going to have to ride in a Blimp with Rachel. Rachel gets to control the blimp for a second and convinces Dean that he has to do it. Dean reacts in much the same way I would, cautious optimism. 

Evening portion and Dean shares his sob story, his mom died when he was 14, he smoothly does it though and does not seem ham fisted with it like most. He gets the date rose. Oh look we are back to pretending we know the musical act, tonight it is Russell Dickerson. 

Group Date Time:

The guys are all styling and profiling whoooo, push up contests, dancing, rapping and flexing. But all of that is pushed to the back when they now have to do a spelling bee – Josiah thinks he has it locked. Kenny was the first to fail on ‘champagne’ and turns out Josiah did have it locked, though in fairness his words seemed easier than others for instance he had ‘polyamorous’ as his final word while another had ‘boutonniere.’ 

Group date night –

And Iggy takes his time to snitch on Josiah - Then comes back and tells Josiah. Eric says “Iggy is like a gossip Queen” Josiah in his ITM says “I’m surprised he is still in the house, he is the lamest dude in the house, he does drugs, he shoots steroids in his nuts” whoa whoa whoa.

Lee takes his time to lie about Kenny. Which of course leads to poor Kenny losing his one on one time with Rachel to discussing Lee, he then confronts Lee about this.

Bachelorette recap or, we will not let you back in this house!

We start with DeMario trying to talk his way into the house he definitely turns on the silver tongue charm, but it does not work and thus the posse of guys hanging outside the house willing to throw him out does not need to be activated. 

The cocktail party continues and the guy labeled ‘Tickle monster’ walks around with giant hands. Waboom aka Lucas tries to counter what Blake has said about him by using what I guess is gay panic? He tells Rachel a story of waking up and seeing Blake standing over his bed eating a banana – right after saying Blake might have a crush on him. Blake as a counter to his accusation says that he does not eat carbs…Both Lucas and Blake are booted, while Lucas is doing his goodbye ITM Blake walks over puts his hand on his shoulder and begins to verbally unload on him. They begin to rant at each other in a pretty funny meltdown, I have not seen every season of this show but I cannot imagine this has happened much before. 

The Group date card arrives and it says the guys are going on Ellen, they react way too aggressively for men that allegedly have jobs during the daytime…on the Ellen show they strip down to dance for the ladies in the audience and a few snitch on themselves. 

Ohhhhh Fred, he asks Rachel if this is the right time to kiss her, he makes it awkward but somehow still gets the kiss while continuing a sentence – he has been waiting to kiss her since elementary school. Rachel brings out the date rose to the group but then asks Fred to step outside with her for a bit, the guys who remain in the room think that this means he is getting the rose but nope Rachel is letting him go, because she just cannot see him as anything but the little kid she once knew. 

Solo date time:

And they are on Rodeo Drive poor Anthony has to get on a horse for the first time in his life and ride down Rodeo with Rachel, she steers their horses into West (the shop) to get boots and hats, then to Sprinkles for Cupcakes then to a boutique shop where the horses finally relieved themselves. Anthony lucked out cause he got to get an ‘experience’ plus gets gifts. 

Group Date Time:

And Rachel brings some of her ‘friends’ from her season of the Bachelor, it is hard to see Corinne on this. The guys are taken to a saloon to mud wrestle…so again the guys on the group date are topless. I guess this is equality… they are objectifying the men like crazy here including yelling “show us your junk” and “let me see that butt.” Sigh, I hate when they make the women strip down on the Bachelor and I hate to see it here for the men on the Bachelorette. 

Kenny confesses in his one on one time with Rachel that he used to be a Chippendale dancer in Vegas. 

Eric confronts the 2 guys that told Rachel they found him the least compatible with Rachel. Despite being told by multiple peeps that Eric is not right for her Rachel gives him the date rose.

Cocktail party time and multiple people talk about Eric and it clearly shakes Rachel – this causes her faith in him to shake and she seeks him out. Rachel doesn’t pull the rose from him but Eric calls the guys together to lecture them about “keeping my name out your mouths.”

A black bachelorette and the world still stands 2 episodes in!

This might be the latest I have gotten to a season of the show, but come on it is a Black Bachelorette I am not going to give up on this season. So no matter how long it takes I am going to finish this show.

It is still so weird seeing this many brown peeps on a Bachelor-franchise show.

Lucas is already the enemy to many of the guys and apparently has a long simmering tension with Blake.

The guys get to meet Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis and they are as raunchily fun as you remember. The guys have to do a ‘Daddy material’ challenge, first pretend to change a baby, then attach a baby bjorn and run with the baby to then vacuum a strip, then get to a clogged sink to pull fake hair, then find a ring that fell into a filled sink, then set a table, then get a bouquet and run it back to Rachel. Lucas cheats to win, including throwing a stiff arm to Kenny King (kid you are crazy to do that to a wrestler) and tried to get Ashton to do his foolish “whaboom” sound to which Ashton deservedly passes and looks at him with disdain. Back to the stiff arm, Kenny looked like he was two steps away from putting Lucas 6 feet under.

Dean gets the date rose and a kiss that surprises Rachel.

Peter gets the first one on one and Rachel is flying with him to Palm Springs, she then tries to trick him that the date is not going to be a one on one but instead a 2 on 1 turns out to be her dog (which I predicted but had the advantage of seeing Copper with Rachel enough to guess that would be the second ‘person.’ They go to a ‘Bark Fest’ a goofy dog centric pool party, Peter easily impresses Rachel.

Back at the hotel a group date card shows up and the only phrase on it is ‘Swish’ and the black guys react a lot more excitedly than the white guys…

Back to La Quinta (yes this blog is personal so let me just say, I loved staying in that resort) and the one on one. They talk about their big incisors and tooth-gaps they swap ‘power stories’ about it, I didn’t notice gaps on either of them until they mentioned it. He gets the date rose and a kiss.

I should not be this tired but I am struggling to stay awake during this episode, it better pickup.

Group date time and Kareem Abdul-Jabar shows up to help coach…I think. Kareem tries to associate basketball with love, it was a tortured analogy. Anyway the part that matters, the guys are going to play against each other infront of a crowd. These guys are laying bricks like crazy, even after doing shimmies and stylin’. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Safe to say…I fell asleep all of those ‘Ks’ there were 11 pages of them! Hahahah during the game! I didn’t even make it to half time. So I had to restart and got to see Demario dominate the game, but then his team lost…but that will not be his only L tonight. Rachel is doing a meet and greet with fans after the game and one fan Lexi lingers to meet her last (sure, nothing staged here). Lexi tells Rachel that up until she saw Demario on the ‘After the final Rose’ she thought she was dating him. Demario is hanging out with the fellows after the game and Rachel comes in to the locker room to get him, he and the others think this is going to a “hey you get the game day rose” or an “Hey you were the MVP” type of thing. But instead, he gets to meet his ex/current/smash buddy girl, and it ends with Rachel telling him to “get the [bleep] out.” She is so annoyed/crying that she avoids Obvious Man Chris Harrison and the producers and runs into the bathroom. She eventually tells the remaining guys to make sure to just be there for her.

One by one the guys use the disappearance of Demario to step up; Josiah telling Rachel that he was disgusted by it gets to make out with her.

During the cocktail party portion as Rachel is talking to all of the suitors DeMario shows up on the outside of the property so security gets OMCH who goes and gets Rachel and tells her that the option is there for her to talk to him, so of course she goes to talk to him: The guys hearing that DeMario is outside rise en masse to go and confront him and we get the dreaded “to be continued.”