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Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Bachelorette Recap or "No dad this is not how I normally dress."

 

We restart with Tayshia (“Tay”) and Ben on the couch as Ben tells Tay that he told everyone but her that he loves her.


“I don’t expect anything from you, I just want to tell you I love you” sure Ben you do not expect anything. Tay says she wishes she had heard it sooner “because I was almost there” and she stands up to walk Ben out;

they get outside Ben says “thank you for talking with me” and kisses her hand, Tay keeps holding his hands and then goes in for a kiss and then it becomes a dramatic makeout.

Once she gets back inside she says “I kissed him, WHY DID I DO THAT?”


Ben is now “100% confident” he is “going to get a rose.”

Ivan walks up in his short-sleeve-half turtleneck ribbed shirt under his suit feeling confident “that I am one of the final 2” that is 2 guys who are confident!

Ben walks up to the rose ceremony platform with a huge smile on his face and the other guys are SOUR! Their confidence is now shaken and Ben makes sure to put the onus on Tay “she invited me” is that really how it happened bro?

Tay shows up for the rose ceremony and says she will need to follow her heart then asks Ivan if they can go and talk in private; Ivan immediately knows that he is dead man walking.


 As they walk off Ben asks Zac “what do you think that is about?” “I don’t know” Ben “given what she just said about following her heart.”  Ben is really chatty now that he has a reprieve, Zac does not want to talk.

Tay brings up to Ivan that religion is really important to her and might be a sticking point between them, because of what they talked about during their private session. AGAIN LOOK AT EVERY PAST DUDE WE KNOW THAT TAY HAS DATED, THEN LOOK AT IVAN!


Religion is not the only sticking point here, and let’s be real, what does she know about Ben’s views on religion, they did not have a fantasy suite?

In the car ride Ivan says he does not think that Tay will pick anyone at the end of the process.

Tay’s family:
Interesting food spread -



BEN is first to meet the family and Tay tells her family that Ben was initially sent home and then returned. Desmond Tay’s dad is immediately skeptical.

Ben shows up in his skinny jeans showing all of his ankles, which would be the end of any positive impression in my family.

Tay’s mom Rosario wants to know if Ben thinks this will be a “forever thing” (he can think it all he wants). Ben is nervous that the dad will not like him, why were you not nervous about the mom Ben?

Tay’s dad tells Ben that he thinks he is “a sincere and open young man” and is easily won over by him.

The family races scooters with Ben, Tay’s dress is not made for scooters!

ZAC:

Mom asks Zak “Do you love Tayshia?”


Zac says “I do” I have just noticed that Zac is graying, makes me wonder if he died the hair coming into the show or did I just not notice it before?

Tay’s dad “You have been in love before?” Zac “I mean I was married back in 2009” he then admits that he was partying and wild back then. Tay’s dad says of marriage “I don’t want it to be a test.”

Zac charms the parents and they get to share a meal “this is the closest you are going to get to a NY style pizza here in the desert” we get it bro you are from the city!

Tay’s recap time:

While Tay is in her suite staring off into space a knock on her door is heard and Tay looks worried that it might be another pop up. It is her dad. Her dad tells Tay that her family is worried that she might go down the divorce path again.

Zac:

Tay and Zac go and take a ballroom dancing lesson, their rhythm improves but it is still not great.


Tay tells us that she is concerned that she cannot find any flaws in Zac, I guess her emotional eyesight is as bad as her physical eyesight.

During their ‘tough’ evening talk Zac reveals that, that day is his 9 year anniversary of sobriety; he uses this to point out that he understands loyalty and commitment.

Ben:

We get the old standby of a showering hunk in Ben; while Tay tells us that she woke up realizing what her heart wants “and it is not Ben.”

Tay goes to tell Ben that she does not see a future with him and Ben immediately goes from jovial to frozen face again. He starts to silently nod a lot and then when he tries to speak it is a halting speech pattern.

Final Rose?

Tay is waiting for Zac in the desert as we get her voice over telling us that she loves him but she is worried that it might not be right.

“You know from our first conversation that we ever had BY A FOUNTAIN” even Zac knows it has been a fountain-centric season. Tay has the worst pauses “I know that I told you that I love you but…[long pause] it is more than that, it is wild, wild love.” “I am ready to hail a taxi” “prove it.”


Zac is ready for immediate baby making 



After their engagement Tay and Zac continue all of their prior moves, terrible dancing “yelling taxi” and prancing around with a fake cardboard taxi this one saying “Just engaged.”

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.