Back to Houston and the close captions say "upbeat country music"
Some of the women are having a recap of Shanae's actions from the group date she crashed, Jill's commentary is clearly spliced with her interviews from what looks like the cocktail party still to come because she is wearing an evening gown when we cut to her interviews.
ONE ON ONE:
Serene, runs, jumps and wraps her legs around Clayton.
Clayton boasts to Serene that they have the entire Pleasure Pier (Galveston, Texas) to themselves, it looks like it is freezing. They ride roller coasters and I get second hand motion sickness.
The couple seems to be having a fun time but Clayton is just a statue to me.
Evening:
"He made me feel so special, I mean no one has ever shut down a freaking pier for me before" Serene is allegedly a teacher, how is she not smart enough to realize Clayton had nothing to do with that date's planning?
Start of the date and Serene knows the show formula enough to know she has to do a trauma dump here. Serene has suffered a lot of recent loss. She earns her rose.
COCKTAIL PARTY:
As always we start on the couch of destiny and Jill begins by telling Shanae that she feels disrespected, Jill is wearing the red dress I mentioned earlier...sloppy editing.
As Marlena is telling Shanae that she did not like her popping up at their after party Clayton walks in to interrupt and he asks the winning team from the group date to come and talk to him first. Clayton asks the wining team for their take and Sierra leads off (while shimmering), I still think it is a risky strategy for Sierra to always take lead here, Marlena "you are an athlete I am an athlete, when I take an L, I take an L" the entire team voices that they have problems with Shanae and lets Clayton know that she threw the trophy in the pond...Clayton hears all of this and his response felt like "so uhmm that sucks for y'all but I still think she is hot."
As the ladies are telling Shanae that her "actions have consequences" Clayton asks Shanae to come and have a moment with him, voice over from Shanae "these bitches are not sending me home." Clayton asks Shanae about the after party and she immediately admits to telling Sierra and Genevieve "to keep my name out your mouth" and that she threw the trophy. Clayton says if you keep doing this "I do not see how we can move forward." "Shanae do you feel apologetic for it...your actions throwing the trophy in the pond are very hard to defend" basically Clayton is begging her here "please say you apologize so I can justify keeping you here." Shanae gives a very lukewarm apology to Clayton.
Shanae returns to the group sniffling "I am really nervous right now...I said somethings I didn't mean, but I hope we can really get past this...I want to be a part of this group(heavy exhales) I am truly sorry." She sits back on the couch and Sierra pats her on the back. The women foolishly accept her apology with zero questioning but some stone faces.
Shanae quickly leaves and goes to tell Clayton that she apologized to the women, she quickly returns to smiling and gets a makeout session with Clayton. In her interviews Shanae is crowing that apologizing was the hardest thing she has ever done because she was not sorry about anything she did as she calls the women bitches again and puts her right hand below her chin "...give me an Oscar...this is Meryl Streep raises left hand to the sky) and this is Shanae."
ROSE CEREMONY:
Clayton thanks the ladies for being open and honest with him.
Roses go to: Sarah, Marlena, Genevieve, (Mara doing VO and repeating that she does not see Shanae as a wife "if she stays [expletive] will hit the fan")Mara, Gabby (Shanae "it took a lot of me to apologize to these girls that have been mean to me and I did it for him")Susie, Eliza, Hunter (do we know what her voice sounds like?) (Shanae "I am sweating, my vagina is sweating, my armpits are sweating) and the final rose goes to Shanae as Clayton blatantly looks across for producer cues then looks down to fake the tension before saying Shanae's name. Sierra is in shock, Jill embraces Rachel as she goes home. Sierra as she hugs him goodbye tells Clayton "choose a woman for the man you will become...and don't be stupid."
Cut to a Shanae interview "holy #$%t I just sent another girl home...who is next...sorry but not sorry bitches...(fakes a mic drop again.)" The ladies squeal as Clayton says they are going international - to Toronto.
TORONTO:
The group is staying at Hotel X and Mara is obliging by doing the infomercial "so sleek and cute" Marlena "this penthouse is dope." I am pretty sure one of the women said "fall foilage" and I am afraid to go back to check in on this grammar crime. The first date card arrives and it is for Gabby she tells the girls "thanks for being happy for me" one of the few moments of practical Shanae "If you are so happy for other people please go home."
ONE ON ONE:
The helicopter budget kicks in and Gabby and Clayton will tour T.O. They play some faux street hockey, then come up on a Beaver Tail Cart it is clearly fried dough, I am saying this because even if you did not know this in advance it is obviously not the mammal's tail but Gabby still asks "it is not a real beaver's tail right?" Gabby plays with a dog on the street and really gets into it with that dog while lying on the street...that is mighty white right here, Miss you do not know this dog, you do not know this street get yo ass up!
Evening:
Before we go back to the couple we get Shanae telling the group that she is hoping for a one on one and Genevieve is scowling at her audacity. Marlena and Genevieve are worried that Shanae might get a one on one, instead a group date card arrives and as the names are listed Genevieve realizes and curses "it's a [bleeping] 2 on 1" she knows how this show works.
Back to the date and Gabby is wearing an interesting dress. Gabby knows what is up "This is a very expedited process...gotta tell you things about me." Gabby says in her past she had problems opening up "In the past I felt" that she was not worthy of affection, some of it is due to trauma from her past with her mom who would flip a switch from very affectionate to withholding attention to her daughter. Gabby and her mom do not have a relationship now. Clayton asks if Gabby wants to "mend that relationship with your mom or do you feel like it is over?" heavy question for a date but I guess the door was opened. "I want you to know that I do care, and I know it is a lot to talk about." We go from the heavy unloading to stripping down to swimsuits and making out in the pool holding a rose.
Clayton says "She could be my future wife."
GROUP DATE:
The crew meets up with Jesse Palmer who tells them he is from Toronto
and then in walks Russell Peters ("RP") whose comedy I love BUT Teddi says "Russell Peters walks in, we know that he is a roast champion" uhmm nope that is not how most peeps think of RP they might be trying to get that show off the ground but that is not it.
Mara "it is going to be marinara sauce and blood all over" sigh. Sarah "I am kind of working getting back into group dates after my one on one" she says it like she went off to war and now has to acclimate to civilian life.
The show sets up a faux comedy show setting with over-eager audience members that definitely look like paid extras. Marlena gets the roast going and kind of reflects my feeling on how little we know about Hunter "as we all know Hunter has chronic irritable bowel syndrome which much like her personality is [expletive] - Damn Shanae you aint here but I am still going to get your ass Shane is like a herpes outbreak, no matter how hard you try to get rid of her she keeps coming back and lasting longer than expected." Sarah makes a lot of age jokes about Mara and referencing cougar life; Mara gives it back to Sara and offers babysitting and ends it with "Just go home you desperate bitch" I think I heard gasps.
Serene says "it is so nice to be on Shanae's season of the Bachelorette." This is going to make it harder for the producers to force Clayton to keep Shanae more than another episode and notice I said producers I do not care about Clayton's opinions here.
Evening:
Marlena is confident "today was good I was able to shine at the roast." Susie takes Clayton aside first and breaks out a microphone stand (not planted at all) since she roasted him in the day time she compliments him in the evening. Clayton to Marlena "I thought last week was your week, but this week you outdid yourself." Marlena uses the phrase that Texas' football team used last year as our tagline "I am all gas no breaks" BUT UT HAD IT's WORST SEASON IN 80 YEARS, just a heads up Marlena, sometimes you want to slow down.
Back to hotel and the 2 on 1 card arrives - "into the falls your journey goes, only one comes out with the rose" - the ladies are speculating that this is the first card that does not end with "love Clayton" LADIES HE DOES NOT WRITE THE CARDS! "Clayton is not going to even talk to Genevieve because I am going to push her in the falls" you can guess who said that after speculating the date will go to Niagara falls.
Back to the date and Clayton and Rachel have another whisper conversation and a make out that causes the hem of her dress to be flapped over. Eliza brings Clayton maple syrup shots.
Rachel gets the group date rose after Clayton says "this person continues to make me feel safe with every interaction that we have" that is one way to just say "she did not do anything of consequence on this date but I really like her and I want her to feel validated but they make me pretend that y'all all mattered on this date."
So much hyping of this 2 on 1 to get it stretched into the next week.
Either Genevieve is one of the strongest women this show has had on or her suitcase is practically empty as she takes it down the staircase to pose it beside Shanae's for the potential wheel out moment still to come.
TWO ON ONE:
The group meets at Niagara falls
Genevieve is visibly nervous Shanae is exuding confidence and claims she is taking the trash out once again. If you know how to read a show clock you knew the annoying "to be continued" was inevitable.
Bloopers:
The group date is invaded by bees Mara finds the positive in it "why am I so sweet?"
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