My DVR initially said it would not playback the show and I briefly thought "it is saving me from myself" then it worked on the 2nd attempt (so it does not care about my wellbeing after all) and thus once more into the fray we go.
We return to the house the morning of the 3rd Rose Ceremony; many of the women are discussing Shanae over food while Shanae is sunning by the pool. Some of the girls wonder if they should raise the issue of Shanae with Clayton. Gabby says that if they all do it later, the time of the cocktail party will be dominated by the drama. BUT ladies, why not just all address it as a group and get it over with.
COCKTAIL CEREMONY:
While on the couch of destiny Marlena asks Shanae if she wants to address anything - "No." There is some bickering as Clayton walks in and tells the ladies that he wants to talk to Elizabeth and Shanae outside (does this count as a 2 on 1?)
Clayton says "I cannot build a relationship with either of you if we are having this conflict" so bro why not just ask all the women of the group? Elizabeth starts off with her coat on then takes it off as she gets heated both literally and figuratively. Shanae brings up shrimpgate again and Elizabeth falls into a trap of getting her location wrong denying that she was in the hot tub when Shanae offered shrimp. While the women are volleying accusations at each other Clayton is sitting in the middle of them looking like a child hearing his parents threatening to divorce each other.
Clayton steps away and the women continue to argue with each other but the show makes it appear that Clayton is still within earshot. As Elizabeth walks away she says she is "too much of a lady" for the situation and Shanae yells "a fake one" Elizabeth mishears it and walks back into the group saying "I think she just called me fat" which of course in this group is worse than being called fake.
This show works hard - Shanae goes to grab a sushi platter and it is filled with shrimp.
Gabby says she will have trauma so she will need to use it's scientific name "I would like a crustacean that has a tail and it's really big" GABBY THE NAME DENOTES ITS SIZE - SHRIMP!
Shanae returns to the couch of destiny carrying shrimp and this sets people off particularly Genevieve and Jill. Genevieve blows up and does not want to hear Shanae speak, this is a bad tactic because she is screaming. Clayton sends in Jesse to do his dirty work "He is exhausted and not in a good head space right now...he has made the decision to cancel the cocktail party...we will be moving straight to the rose ceremony."
Jill "well the cocktail party was cancelled over shrimp"
Genevieve "he is overwhelmed" let us slow down guys, this man should not be overwhelmed by something as simple as this. Y'all really about to fight for a man who cannot stand firm for y'all?
I am really hoping Elizabeth is given to hyperbole because she calls the women she has barely known "some of my best girlfriends in the world" and if that were true it would be sad.
ROSE CEREMONY:
Roses to Marlena, Teddi (Serene gets first shot at narrating). Rachel (as she comes forward I swear a new woman was added to the cast because I do not recognize her in the lineup as Rachel walks past her), Mara, Sierra, (Lyndsey now gets the 'cry narration'), Susie, Jill (for all her crying narration is safe), Serene, Geneieve (does not take her time to say a damn thing), Hunter, Lyndsey, (Shanae presumably re Elizabeth "I swear to God if he gives her a rose I am going to shove that rose all the way up his ass it is going to come out his mouth"), - Final rose but the drama is gone because the promos heavily featured Shanae. As Elizabeth leaves Shenae's ITM "Ding dong the witch is dead" she dances with a rose in her mouth - "...you will be walking down that driveway in your heels, crying. Don't f@$k with me." "OH HONEY!"
Next Day:
Gabby is crying to Genevieve that she is emotionally exhausted. More shots of Shanae eating.
Jesse comes in to really play up whatever the Houston Tourist board wrote which makes it sound like they are going to a European city, the girls have to make a tonne of Texas puns "bigger and better."
Clayton "I have friends that live in Houston so this does feel like home" is Clayton the type to go to someone's house and not leave?
Clayton's college teammate/friend Clarence shows up and Clayton freaks out, he lifts Clarence off the ground with his hug.
Rachel gets the first date.
ONE ON ONE:
Rachel runs and jumps into Clayton's arms with a leg wrap.
The couple goes horseback riding and 'happens upon' a 'family' that just happens to be there and invites them to hang THIS SHOW IS SO STUPID AND THINKS WE ARE TOO...because this 'family' is perfectly mic'd and we can hear everything they say clearly but I am supposed to believe this is a chance encounter? By the way the peeps on the grill are the owners of Blood Bros a pretty bloody famous Houston BBQ joint. The 'family' let's Rachel and Clayton sit in with them and help to cook at their well aligned grills and eat at their tables that just happened to be positioned to allow photogenic shots.
I am an idiot for continuing to watch this show, I am going to take a walk.
Rachel and Clayton make out by a creek (it is actually a pond but that doesn't sound as romantic)
Clayton tells Rachel that "I am done playing hard to get, I think I am going to give that up." Clayton is sprung. Rachel's entire conversation was done at a whisper, I do not know why.
Back to the group hotel room and a group date card arrives with Shanae's name last on purpose - 13 girls are named for the group date so Serene looks to have a one on one in her future.
Evening:
The couple goes to dinner in a mega-barn.
"The more I talk to you the more questions I have, and the more confused I get...I am wondering why a woman as beautiful as you with a bad ass job...is here?" Rachel "you scared me!" Rachel says her previous relationship was with an unsupportive partner. Clayton vaguely says he will support her ("I will never dim your light") and she gushes.
Restless Road is this week's 'Artist you have no idea of their music while the couple will pretend to be big fans' (Trademark) this franchise loves it's average country musicians.
Back to the hotel and women are ranting about Shanae who we see leaning her head against a wall to eavesdrop. (There is a Ted Cruz meme that has much in common with this moment) 
Sierra loudly tells the group that they should all team up against Shanae, "I would do it right now but it takes a team" sigh, this will not go well.
GROUP DATE:
Clayton is terribly grilling some burgers and dogs while standing next to an Ioniq 5 in a blatant ad and in case you did not get the hint the front of the car is featured and like an infomercial Clayton shows Gabby how to plug things into the car because you know - FUTURE!
2 Houston Texans (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) football players show up to tell the women they will be playing a game for Clayton's heart but not "2 hand touch or flag, real life tackle football."
Marlena reminds us that she is an Olympian. The names of the teams are Purple Punishers vs Shrimp Stampede because the show is going to stampede that shrimp thing into the ground. The Shrimp Stampede do not appear to be very good.
Marlena is very enthusiastic. I am unsure why the franchise thinks tackle football is necessary here, and I say this as someone who was a BIG fan of hitting people in high school this is DUMB.
Sierra is gloating over the fact that she will get to tackle Shanae to leave her "black, blue and purple."
Hannah Storm joins Jesse Palmer as the announcers for 'The Bachelor Bowl'
Hannah you are better than this. Marlena reminds us "we wringing necks...there is gonna be some blood"
We get a moment of clearly dysfunctional playing where the Purple Punishers on defense think they can pick the ball off the floor to score and celebrate.
Jesse gets Hannah to crack up as he dead pans "Jill an architectural historian, also a vegan Hannah, and she just ate grass" I will admit his delivery and line were funny.
Back to Marlena reminding us that she is an Olympian in her locker room rant, then to the field as Marlena just blazes past everyone into the endzone. Shanae takes quire a few hits.
I should not have called the team dysfunctional for celebrating because the rules of this game are suspect, the Shrimp recover multiple fumbles but do not get the ball. Sierra scores on a misdirection to get to 14-0 then Marlena picks the ball off and takes it to the house for a 21-0 win. Marlena is the clear MVP. The winning team gets the evening date with Clayton, the losing team returns to the hotel. Bad of me to think that if there was even a hint of romantic chemistry with Clayton and Marlena a bigger deal would have been made of her? I suspect if Rachel had been on this date and won MVP it would have been a 15 minute segment.
An ad for Death on the Nile pops up and I chuckle since there is more drama about the cast of this movie than the movie itself will be able to deliver.
Evening portion:
Clayton and the women on the date discuss that "blood was shed"
Teddi in her alone time with Clayton is sporting a massive bruise on her leg.
Such an unnecessary injury.
The ladies on the date are celebrating that they are 'drama free' Sierra is trying to rally the troops to tell Clayton as a collective that they are not fans of Shanae.
Back to the hotel and Shanae is telling us the other ladies are "two faced bitches."
Back to the date Sierra "when you decided to keep Shanae a lot of the other women in the house were shocked...based on the character that we believe you to be we didn't think that would be someone you would want to be your wife." Clayton hears that and asks "on 2 plays in the game you tackled her when she didn't have the ball" clearly he does not want to hear what Sierra has to say. In an ITM Clayton expresses surprise that people are still talking about Shanae "I thought we were done with this" (Sierra you may sadly learn that you should have followed your own initial plan of using a group talk).
Genevieve also brings up Shanae "she lied and she just cannot apologize for what she has done" as we see Shanae walking out in a LBD and a bandage.
Shanae interrupts a moment between Sarah and Clayton causing Clayton to say "weren't you on the losing team?" "No...I deserve to be here" Clayton allows Shanae to take Sarah's place.
While the rest of the women on the date think they are going to eventually get Shanae out, Shanae and Clayton are in a make-out session after he apologized for being shocked that she arrived, the make-out escalates to Shanae being placed on the bar for a kiss.
Shanae because she is completely feeling herself as a warrior walks out to the ladies and says "Genevieve and Sierra keep my name out of your mouths"
then snatches the team's trophy and throws it into the bushes. Genevieve, Sierra and her body glitter are all shocked.
This is one of those moments where someone tricks herself into thinking 'she is gangsta' - in a fight I would take at least half of the women on that date over Shanae (did you hear that Marlena is an Olympian?) but no one is going to grab her here because it is not in their interest to do so.
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