We return to the on going cocktail party that was 'to be continued' with Clayton wondering if anyone has ever taken a rose back before.
The group is gathered on the couch of destiny and Sierra and Ency reveal that Cassidy has someone back home waiting for her, we are told more this week than 2 weeks ago, apparently Cassidy wanted to make her person back home jealous. (I have heard a lot of podcasts debate that it is wrong for the Bach to send someone home for a booty call, but my thought is when you have so many choices you are not going to want to deal with the person you have only known for a week at best and the person that apparently comes with built in drama with the other choices.)
Cassidy sits back down and holds her rose up "Who has the rose bitches?!?"
Clayton comes to pull Cassidy aside, she then says "I already know what you are going to say" then..."you go first" Clayton asks if she had a relationship just prior to the show, Cassidy then says "that is not what I thought you were going to say" which makes us all wonder what she thought he was going to say.
"Clayton I have not spoken to a guy who I have any interest in a relationship with in a long time, do you not believe me?" The lawyer in me is loving how Cassidy parsed her words here. Clayton probes more and Cassidy then says she had a guy who is not interested in a relationship "I still wanna be friends, but I had no interest in having a relationship because it is not going anywhere." We see Clayton get up and walk away, then Cassidy follows behind crying "I cannot believe this is happening, I didn't do anything."
"The general consensus is Cassidy is not here to find love."
Cassidy trying to stop Clayton from saying the words she doesn't want to hear tries to kiss him. As Cassidy and Clayton are talking we hear other girls express how mean Cassidy has been to them, one girl says Cassidy asked her what her exit interview would be like and we then get a terrible phrase "holy shirt and pants y'all."
As Cassidy is seen walking out "the wicked witch is gone y'all." Cassidy is bawling in the limo going home...does her rose become free or is that slot closed?
Of course now women are worried that they did not get any time with Clayton during the cocktail party.
Rose Ceremony:
You think the family that owns the Bachelor mansion keeps all the trappings around when the show is not taping?
Roses go to - Eliza (she was the last person I added to my fantasy team, whew got her in just in time), Rachel, Serene, Sierra, Teddi, Lyndsey, Jill, Gabby, Kira (had her then removed her, drats), Mara, Marlena, Genevieve, Hunter, Melina (in a dress of multi-colors), Elizabeth (leading to Shanae's eye-rolling), and now the final rose is on the table and of course it goes to Shanae. Throughout the rose ceremony we had back and forth interviews of Shanae and Elizabeth throwing words at each other via the producers with Shanae calling Elizabeth a bitch. As girls walk out to tears and hugs we get a voice over that sounds like Shanae but some of it is clipped like it really feels like Frankenbites "Sorry not sorry bitches...they are fake" but the word fake sounded so modified I almost wondered if they doctored it in and the editor forgot until the last second to remove the background audio.
The next day and we get a viewer discretion warning.
3 dates this week and first up is a group date "I see you..."
GROUP DATE:
And the group goes to the Avalon (it's a night club in LA) and Kaitlyn is sitting in the dark with just a lone spotlight.
Given the warning at the start of this segment I am guessing we are about to data mine these women's past trauma for show content.
Kaitlyn is going to "read you a bunch of statements and if they resonate with you please stand up." example "Stand up if there are parts of yourself that you are not proud of" and everyone stands (except Kaitlyn): It might be bad of me but I thought that question was going to be about physical parts until Clayton went first and spoke about past relationships.
We are told that one woman adjusted her whole appearance to please her ex, it was too traumatizing for me to rewind to find out her name. Marlena voices what I am sure most POC encounter going on the Bach/franchise she does not think she can talk to Clayton about race, to his credit he tells her she can open up to him as much as she wants.
Evening Portion:
The ladies all look stunning, while Clayton is barely above casual.
The show needs to keep the names up at least another week and definitely with so many of them looking the same, sounding the same and using so many generic phrases and the word "like" at a racecar pace.
Susie who I did not recognize until her ITM gets a strong make out sesh and the loud kissing sounds.
Back to the mansion - Sarah gets the one on one date card, goodness she is only 23.
Eliza stands side by side with Clayton in a mirror so he can see how good they look together (she is not wrong).
ONE ON ONE:
"Today I recruited the help of my friend Becca Kuffrin" Clayton you aint gotta lie to kick it. Just say the show set it up. Becca claims that she set up a scavenger hunt around LA that the 2 have to do in their "skivvies" Sarah asks "what if you are not wearing underwear?" The couple goes behind privacy screens and comes out wearing matching under garments but they are of the flattering cut type that looks like the type you would think a jogger got just a shade too skimpy with.
This show can be exceedingly dumb sometimes. Sarah tells us her outfit "is a preview of the fantasy suite" while they both talk about "running around downtown LA in their underwear" they are conveniently in one park, I think it is Pershing Square. To end the 'scavenger hunt' the pair have to sing on microphones set up for the public to hear, Sarah is a better rapper than Clayton. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO PUT THEM IN UNDERWEAR, Nothing they did was improved by the undies.
Back to the mansion and Elizabeth has made shrimp that she has offered to share with the group at large, some of whom are getting the black box treatment for their lower halves. Shanae tells us "first nice thing Elizabeth has done for me in 2 weeks" and then that "there was maybe like 15 shrimp in there but I took like 8 because I was hungry" (the show puts a convenient shrimp counter in the top right). I cringed watching Shanae plucking her shrimp out with her fingers from a communal bowl.
Elizabeth has a funny line - "There are 2 things that Shanae cannot keep out of her mouth, my name and shrimp." To get back in the good graces/show off that she can cook too Shanae makes her own batch of shrimp and offers it to a group lounging by the hot tub and very few of the women will look at her, this of course leaves Shanae annoyed.
Back to the date - Evening portion:
Sarah reveals her ethnic breakdown and the fact that she was adopted.
Back to the mansion and a group date card arrives inviting the ladies to the beach and Shanae and Elizabeth are still in contention.
Back to the date and Clayton tells Sarah "I think you exceeded all expectations today" I have heard podcasters mention that Clayton speaks like a football coach and you cannot not hear it "I want to give her my all, because she is doing that for me" I half expected him to say "She is giving a 110%." The couple gets serenaded by a string quartet.
GROUP DATE 2:
Melina says "we are gonna get sandy and get randy." Nicole Eggert shows up on the beach and the ladies pretend to recognize her and be excited about it.
In her confessional Gabby looks up while saying "Nicole Eggert from Baywatch, i loved that show as a little girl" with that look that kids do when they are lying. Gabby was born around 1992 Baywatch started in 1989 then ran its first run until 1999 I am not saying she couldn't have recognized Nicole, I am just suspicious.
The women change into Baywatch style red swimsuits and Clayton joins in by taking off his shirt to reveal a farmer's tan.
The ladies then practice their slo-mo walk which Shanae ends with making out with Clayton (and a black box while she wraps her legs around Clayton) but Nicole says that the woman who wins extra time with Clayton is Gabby. Running up the sand dunes with Clayton requires the show to break out its Microsoft paint palette and adjust the fit on Gabby's swimsuit, so badly done. I draw horrible cartoons on my phone and I could still do a better job of fixing the swimsuit than the editors here.
Evening Portion:
Off to Clifton, Cafeteria & Cabinet of Curiosities which conveniently also has a couch of destiny for everyone to crowd around.
Rachel's time with Clayton has her saying "You know what people are saying "I am getting validated, I am getting validated"" and she is wondering what they are getting from Clayton. He whisper-assures her "there is something special between us" leading to a lean back makeout.
Gabby gets Clayton to take his shirt off so that she can apply aloe vera and a makeout.
Some of the ladies are hoping for time with Clayton and think that if they do not get it it will be due to Shanae. Cue Shanae having time with Clayton and crying to him that she is having problems with Elizabeth "I'm not a liar, I'm not dramatic." Then the tears quickly clear up for a makeout. In her confessional "Oh my god he believed me, I have him...holy [expletive] I was good...I didn't mean to cry but I cried" waves her middle fingers in the air "[Expletive] Elizabeth" Shanae's middle fingers are blurred but then the shadow on her shirt clearly shows them.
Elizabeth gets some time with Clayton and he immediately opens with "I talked to Shanae and she is really struggling, she says she is getting bullied." Elizabeth tells Clayton "there is nothing I have against her...I made her lunch the other day...I'm a GROWN ASS WOMAN." I was waiting for that line. Elizabeth breaks down into tears "like what did I do?"
Clayton does not really want answers if he did the solution is simple, you take both women before the rest of the house and you immediately ask everyone there about the situation, but that is not what the show wants. Elizabeth is with the group and Lyndsey returns almost in tears and she says that her time with Clayton was taken up with Clayton discussing an accusation that Lyndsey has been bullying Shanae. This leaves Gabby shocked.
Gabby gets the group rose "Gabby gets the rose for being like a 12 year old cheerleader?" Shenae does not quit.
Clayton says he will address something serious the next day. Again Shenae wields Elizabeth's ADHD as a weapon.
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