Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My blood pressure today is 115/57 and other randoms plus a shout out to an ex

So one of my exes a perfectly lovely, smart, enterprising, talented girl (just slightly below me in Chemistry labs...even if she claims I used help) has a great plan for this year. She is posting a picture a day for the whole year, whether great inspiration strikes her or not...As any regular reader of the blog knows, I barely post on a semi weekly schedule. So it occurred to me last week that if she can be so consistent every day, I could at least post more consistently. As I said the thought occurred LAST week, this is the first blog since then...oh well I will at least try to do 3 a week.

Quick hits:
  • 2 Guys watching 'Legends of the Guardians' together isn't that weird, us analyzing it...might be
  • Just saw a cute well behaved one walking around the play-pen of my gym and I decided "I really need to get my own little creature" I then realized I called a human child a "little creature"
  • Congratulating a woman on pregnancy is never safe unless you know for sure she is pregnant, I saw a guy at the gym do it again today, and that did not work well so I never mention pregnancy until I am sure the girl is pregnant.
    • But I always feel worse for the guy who asks the question. Now I know immediately you think "the guy is an Ass" but think of it this way, the guy is most likely well meaning and trying to be nice, now he feels bad for asking a fat person when she is expecting or congratulating her...at least the person knows she is fat before the guy ever says anything, the poor guy now has to walk around feel bad that he offended. 
  • On the pregnancy issue; I was recently at dinner with friends and a girl I know to be promiscuous and a heavy drinker was there and I noticed she was NOT drinking. Well because her breasts looked bigger than normal and weighing the other factors I discreetly asked my other female friend if X-femme was pregnant...whew it was as if I asked if X was murdering kids, my friend was so mad at me for asking...I don't get it. How can one offend by proxy? And how is that not a legit question to ask? Oh well
  • I do not get the fascination with Glee, I occasionally watch it and each time I watch it I hate myself more for it and realize I dislike it more and more...I should be worried that my spell check had to correct how I spelled occasionally. 
  • Ah yeah the title, I completely forgot to address that, I posted that BP after working out. Yup, while I might be fat and have ridiculous eating habits, I actually work out a tonne just so that I can stay healthy
    • In fact my eating habits are so bad that I actually had to move from the dining/kitchen area while I blogged so that I would avoid eating/making giant choco chip cookies because I wanted more. I ate 3 brownies, a bag of chips a bowl of cereal and that was all post dinner of chicken and rice, just so that I would not make a batch of cookies because everytime I make a batch I eat about 8-12 right off the bat. 
      • It gets worse when you factor in I did this all post gym and stopped my ride home to go buy 2 bags of chocolate chips so that I would have the cookie options
    • Speaking of riding...so saddle sore, I do not know how anyone could ride in the Tour de France
      • On the plus side, thanks to riding to work, riding to lunch, and riding to the gym; I rode 33 miles today and that does not include whatever mileage I did in Spinning. 
  • I need to become more consistent with my lifting (I know, I know I just said I work out a tonne)...it is too haphazard, need to get back on a more consistent routine but damn my shoulder is really killing me so it has to be longer rest periods in between sessions and that throws me off my game.
    • On the plus side...let me post some numbers
      • Bench 300, Leg Press 1050, calf press 800, individual bicep curls 50, triceps pull downs 145, back pull downs 295 all in lbs. 
    • I want to improve the Bench, but do not know how to without my spotter, I am going to have to lower the leg press because my left knee cannot maintain the weight anymore but I can maintain the calf press and will not raise or lower that, clearly I have to try and improve the bicep curls, they might be better than that, but they are always done after back exercises so the muscle is already used up, triceps will go up in a month and the back pull downs are hard because as fat as I am I am still not heavy enough to smoothly control the weight and remain in the seat. 
  • Amazing that due to having to take a full week off from weight lifting my cardio is not as good, even though I have kept that up at least on its regular schedule.
So for the exes and the ones I thought were preggers







1 comment:

Anonymous said...

bwahahaha "little creature"

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.