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Sunday, July 13, 2014

Bachelorette recap or How to turn a death into a positive ratings grab.

My friend and I just took advantage of TGIF’s new all you can eat Appetizers, it was my first time in a TGIF in 6 years, we drank a tonne we ate a tonne and it will probably be another 6 years before I am hungry again.

Hometown dates:
Nick in Wisconsin is first:

Andi meets Nick in the Milwaukee public market. Nick calls it his favorite place in the city. Nick clearly has the bar put a new tap on with Nick and Andi beer “the Perfect brew”. It is probably sour.
Andi asks “what is a polka?” is she an attorney?
This is about as fun as Andi gets.
They finally meet Nick’s family...he has 10 siblings it is like so many stereotypes I have heard of Wisconsin. NO BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THEM.
Nick’s dad pulls Andi aside but we never see the conversation. Instead we see the conversation with Andi and Nick’s closest sibling who brings up that Nick has had his heart broken before.
Andi also gets questioned by Nick’s 9 year old little sister Bella and Andi tries to explain what a “mental connection” is to her - run little girl, do not get dating advice from this woman. Nick then grills Bella for her questions and Andi’s answers (methinks he gave her the questions) she tells him that Andi really likes him. I find the age gap between Nick and his sister a bit strange, he is 33...I have a huge age gap in my family but this seems extraordinary especially since Nick does not seem like he is the oldest. My ex teases me constantly about the age difference between my brother and I, she hates me, but her mom is hot.

Nick gives a very creepy stare into the camera and says “I will never get enough Andi, I just want it to be us”. Nick does not tell her he loves her.

We go to Arlington, Iowa:
It is Chris’ hometown date and we get the obligatory shot of him walking alone in a huge field. Chris has a house and this impresses Andi, she keeps missing his hints that maybe the family paid for it he uses “ours” and “we” alot when talking about the home and property.

They take a tractor out into the field and Chris lets Andi drive, she pretends to panic like there could ever be an accident while they are out in acres and acres of property. THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1008" - Andi travels to Arlington, Iowa -- population less than 800 -- to visit Chris, the handsome and extremely successful farmer whose charming manner has proved an aphrodisiac to the Bachelorette. Andi is enchanted by the serene beauty of the Iowa countryside and the pair enjoy a tractor ride and a romantic picnic in the middle of a cornfield. There, they discuss what their future might be like together. Chris has a wonderful surprise for Andi to confirm his feelings for her. This bachelor's fun-loving family envelopes her with small town hospitality, sharing a laugh-filled evening of childhood memories and a game of hide and seek. Chris' family is more than Andi could have hoped for, but what does she really feel about swapping city life for country living? - on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, JULY 7 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Matthew Putney) ANDI DORFMAN, CHRIS
Andi pretends that she could be happy in Iowa, Chris thinks Andi is excited about Iowa...Chris is wrong. Chris tells Andi that she could be a homemaker, she is less than pleased. He has a plane fly by with a banner ‘Chris loves Andi’, andi-dorfman-the-bachelorette-season-10-69
I know it is supposed to be cute but I get the feeling that life with Chris is filled with kitschy stuff that would just drive me nuts.

Chris' mom asks Chris if Andi could live in is not a good sign that everyone knows this could be a concern. Andi is NOT I repeat NOT moving to Iowa - She while talking to Nick’s mom says “I love my career” and we have to wonder “What career?”, reality TV? Because clearly she is not trying to be an attorney. Chris’ mom is very sweet. Daggum it.

To end the night they play “Ghost in the graveyard” and of course Andi finds Chris (they make out) because hey this is not scripted.

Tampa Florida:
Josh’s hometown:
Josh takes her to a baseball field and claims that it is tough for him to take anyone there that might be true, if I tried hard to make a team and it did not work out that might crush me. THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1008" - Andi heads south to Tampa to visit Josh's family. They enjoy a flirtatious afternoon playing baseball at his childhood field that was filled with future championship dreams. However, Andi learns that underneath that confidence Josh seems to exude, is pain from unfulfilled dreams. After five years of struggling, Josh quit professional sports to devote more time to his family - and in particular his younger brother, who now has been drafted into the NFL. Although she is touched by his commitment to his brother, Andi is concerned that he might not make the time necessary to make a relationship his number one priority. That anxiety deepens when she meets his family who is clearly dedicated to the pro football career of Josh's brother. Where does Andi fit into this family picture and Josh's life? - on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, JULY 7 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Marc Edwards) JOSH M., ANDI DORFMAN
He throws Andi some soft pitches and she crushes them, she even breaks a bat...Great form: Andi stepped up to the plate and was smacking baseballs pitched by Josh
I keep staring at her shorts.
Josh makes it seem that he chose to give up baseball, not the other way around. He is now focused on his brother Aaron Murray (I am surprised that it took me this long to make the connection - I liked his brother in college) former QB at Georgia the kid was tough and good.

Apparently Josh is in love with his dog Sable. Aaron leads the toast at the table (and looks directly into the camera) Andi appears to be very jealous of the attention that Aaron is receiving. Josh’s sister tells Andi that she and Josh might fight over Andi’s desire to separate him from the family.

They play a game of backyard football, since I know he has been safely drafted I chuckle at the thought of Aaron getting injured in this game and having to explain this to teams.

Dallas Texas:
Marcus’ hometown:

He picks Andi up and this feels like it was done just to show off his Mercedes.  
THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1008" - Andi journeys to Dallas, where Marcus has a special surprise waiting for her upon her arrival. Marcus' loving and supportive family is anxious for Andi to join them. For her part, Andi is wondering if she will be able to catch up with the deep feelings Marcus has showed her, making it clear that she is the love of his life, on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, JULY 7 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Bill Matlock) MARCUS, ANDI DORFMAN
He takes her to a club that is so blatantly a set up and yup he reenacts his stripping from the first group date he was on...
Striptease dance: Marcus stripped down for Andi as he tried to woo her
his dancing is terrible - but Andi is intrigued.Screen Shot 2014-07-08 at 10.14.17 AM
All of these hometown dates have been terrible.

Andi meets Marcus’ family and his niece presents them with bracelets, all these kids tonight have been so much more confident than I ever was as a kid. I do wonder if social media and the openness of information makes kids less concerned about cameras and strangers in their home nowadays...or maybe I was just a wuss.

Marcus’ sister does him no favors and makes him sound like he is clingy. Marcus starts crying when talking to his brother about their dad leaving and his brother being a father figure and yup his sister is right - he is very sensitive.  

All of these dates seem very truncated and I suspect there was some editing done to get them down to a small size so that more time could be spent on the death of Eric, or maybe they were the usual length and I did not notice it because I am digesting 18lbs of chicken wings.

We go to Chris Harrison’s home in Los Angeles, CA:
No really we are at Chris’ home...and of course his home is laid out like a Bachelor/Bachelorette set - All the guys able to sit facing the camera. And arrives and everyone looks nervous, Chris proceeds to tell them that Eric has died. The room goes appropriately quiet. Marcus walks outside, Andi follows him and they sit on the porch with Marcus’ arm around her (grief can be sexy?). The production crew comes in and starts to hug Andi and the guys, the camera is perfectly placed to capture the reactions - I know that I am very cynical in this blog, but as someone who has worked with people in film I can vouch for them that even in moments of genuine emotion/grief on their part, they would still be professional enough like this group to keep filming.

BUT...this whole moment feels gross and unnecessary, we already knew that Eric had died, it was impressed upon us the very first night of this show, it was rehashed the night he left we did not need to see this, we did not need to know how they reacted, it felt staged and it felt forced.

Andi and Chris sit down for their fireside chat, and Andi cries alot about the responsibility she now bears, yes Andi has made Eric’s death about her.

Nick busts out a gorgeously cocky pastel jacket...that is the jacket you wear when you think you are winning the show. Final four: Nick, Marcus, Chris and Josh wait to see if they'll get a rose from Andi
I also love that he is clearly not wearing an “I came to mourn jacket”. Andi picks up the first rose, holds it like a chalice, pauses and then says “I am sorry” and walks off crying; I want to believe it is genuine.

Josh gets the first rose when Andi returns...have to fulfill that contract. Chris gets the 2nd rose and I am surprised. Nick gets the final rose and there is no surprise there. Once Chris got the rose Marcus was done for. Andi tells Marcus he did everything right...oh really?

1 comment:

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.