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Saturday, July 11, 2015

Bachelorette review or let's all jump into bed.

So yesterday I watched the US beat Japan to a pulp in the Women's World Cup final, and while watching I was dreading what I would see on twitter and other internet portals; I expected to see things along the lines of "The US has not dropped this many bombs on Japan since 1945" or "the US hasn't damaged a treasured Japanese icon like this since Godzilla" but really I realized that was just me anticipating horrors that might not necessarily occur and giving in to my darker side...this is what I hope is about to happen with the Bachelorette, the previews have made it seem like this will be the episode that Kaitlyn (K) confesses to sleeping with Nick, and I am already dreading A the reaction of the guys on the show and B. the internet's reaction complete with slut shaming...but here is hoping that I will be pleasantly surprised.

We start with K walking around and the guys all sitting in a circle and Jared's stubble still having a hard time staying together...his beard is so patchy I wonder if beard mange is a thing.

Ben gets the one on one date:
They go rowing on a lake, to Innisfallen Island and play hide and seek which leads to a kiss (ONE - come on kiss count lets get a 100%).

To the evening portion and Ben decides he has to tell K his biggest fear "that I am unlovable" try to remember that this guy is only 26.

K brings up the possibility of the Fantasy Suite and Ben tells her he cannot wait to just talk all night in there, which makes K realize that he might still have his V-Card - she bluntly asks him. He stammers so we cut back to all the guys with a group date card arriving. Back to Ben trying to assure K that he is not a virgin.

Group Date:
Shawn steals her away first, and K immediately brings up to him that their conversation at the last cocktail party was the last time they had hung out and not kissed so of course they immediately make up for lost time (TWO).

 K says she is tempted to tell him now about the Nick Dick!

Nick interrupts them and they dance around the coitus issue and kiss (THREE).

K asks Joe if he is ready to be engaged he says yes, he tells her he is in love with her they kiss (FOUR - the dream is alive and strong). I think this is a kiss of death, cut to commercial and we come back to K (being "brutally honest") telling Joe that even though he tells her he is in love with her, she cannot reciprocate those feelings. Joe puts his shields up and tries to be cold towards her. I love that K is willing to kiss the guys then cut them, she really helps my kiss count. The goodbye becomes really cold as Joe asks K "what should I do now?" and she responds with "do whatever you want to". K appears shocked that Joe would be cold towards her after she breaks up with him!

I loved K coming into this, and still like her as a Bachelorette but sometimes I wonder if the burden of the show has addled her brain.

K returns to Shawn and Nick and tells them that she does not feel like she should give out the group date rose now, so she tells Nick that she will see him at the rose ceremony and tells Shawn that she wants to spend some more time with him tonight. Shawn smirks and rubs a little salt into Nick "well I wasn't expecting that."

K again tells us that she feels nervous and sick about the upcoming conversation she has to have with Shawn, this feels producer driven - why would she feel the urge to tell anyone what happened with her and Nick? That is absolutely not how someone who dates around does it, if you are dating a girl who is dating a dozen other guys you might assume sex happens but would you actually ask her when you are not exclusive?

K and Shawn are holding hands and drinking and K tells him that she just wants to be honest with him...she couches the confession with "I just think it went too is hard for me to admit it, but we had sex."

Shawn greets the news with stunned silence and looking away from K, his first words "Do you regret it?" What the hell man? Do you think she secretly killed a man, committed fraud? Then he finally asks a question that I agree with "I am trying to figure out, why you are telling me this right now?" K - "I just thought it was the right thing to do." Shawn takes a moment to go to the bathroom "to regroup."

Back to the hotel, with Nick telling Jared and Ben H that he is incredibly nervous, they look at him with the "brah we are your enemies" look.

Shawn comes back and is actually handling this so much better than I expected, "at the end of the day I am here for you and you are the only thing that I want out of this" he says he will "man up and move past it." I have to wonder if a producer quietly got to him and told him, "Don't be an idiot YOU ARE ON A DATING SHOW."

Cocktail Party:
Nick keeps complaining that he has had less time than all the other guys with K, remember this is the guy who had sex with her! The guys were hoping for time with K but Obvious Man Chris Harrison shows up to tell them that K is not going to need time with them because her mind has already been made up, so straight to the rose ceremony. If Jared gets cut, the kiss count loses...hold on son, hold on!

K tries to give the first rose to Shawn, but he instead of accepting it tells her he needs to talk to her - feels very staged and convenient. K tells Shawn that it was a mistake for her to tell him early on that he was the one and that the plan for dating around and forming relationships here is because hopefully after this ends she would never form another relationship with anyone else, K asks Shawn if he will trust her at the end of the process, his answer is not very positive - But Shawn and K come back in to the ceremony and he accepts the rose.

Ben gets the 2nd rose and OMCH shows up to let us know that there is only one rose goes to Nick so Jared and his bad stubble have to go and so dies this week's kiss count. But the whiny drama count is definitely going to go back up with both Shawn and Nick remaining. Jared spends his time leaving K by assuring her that it will be okay and that he hopes she finds the right man for her, very classy of him, but I hate when the Bach/ette makes the person that they are kicking out have to do all the emotional work of keeping both peeps reassured - you are the one with the power, do not force them to 'be strong'.

Nick one on one:
They go exploring and of course they have to enter a church...
In the evening portion they meet at a former jail - and Nick tells us about the first time he touched 'privates'

Nick starts to snitch on Shawn but tries to pretend that he wasn't going to throw him under the bus. K and Nick has what for them counts as a tiff - but she of course offers him the Fantasy suite date and he of course accepts it. K pretends that they are going to stay in one of the cells as the fantasy suite...Nick because all he wants to do is bang her happily accepts it then finds out that it was a joke. He comes close to saying "in here, outside I just want to --- (insert his real thoughts) ---- hang out with you."

So to put it bluntly, they bang one out and sit around the next morning like an old married couple with K in a robe and Nick with his shirt off.

Cut to Shawn pacing in his room and then asking the front desk for Nick's room number. He goes to Nick's room to confront him and finally lays into Nick saying that he does not think Nick is there for the right reasons. He calls Nick arrogant, cocky and an asshole (or the perfect candidate for this show). The show fades out with the usual 'To be continued'

Oh look its Brady and Britt trying to do a long distance relationship,
Britt even when alone with just Brady sounds like she is giving an interview.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.