Bachelor recap or where Juan Pablo makes strange noises and pretends to have a job

Tonight’s episode is in JP’s ‘home town’. And he claims he is on his way to surprise his daughter, cynically I said out loud, “but yet I bet there will be cameras already in the home so how will she be surprised?” and shockingly there were already cameras in the living room. On the drive to see his daughter JP makes a sound similar to little girls waiting to see Bieber…strange. I know he is very good looking, but macho he is not.

Sharleen gets the first one on one and looks less than pleased. She says if there is no mental connection by the end of the date she is leaving…just leave now if intellect is what you are looking for. I think the ladies are all acknowledging that JP is dumb – while talking about Sharleen behind her back they question the connection she would have with JP because “she likes really intellectual guys”.

There is a tonne of bad kissing on the yacht and Sharleen realizing that she might not care for his mind, but she is about the sexy.

Cut to Andi and Nikki talking about JP and Sharleen and their incompatible professions (in truth I am not really sure what JP does), their discussion though makes me think…Hey Andi you are a Chicago lawyer, are you just going to move to Miami? Good luck with the FL bar.

Sharleen keeps claiming that she and JP have chemistry and I think she is talking herself into believing she did not lower herself. JP points out the moon, the sky the company (I think he got his conversation guidelines from the Paula Abdul School for judging commentary). Did we get a glimmer of insight from JP? He says to Sharleen “you are very good at not trying to impress me, and that impresses me” or boiled down ‘you act like you do not like me, so I like you even more’!

Sharleen is hesitant to let JP meet her family, and he comments on her smile. Now I really, really want to meet Sharleen’s parents. I wonder if she is having the hang-ups I would have, I could go on a reality show, but then having to take home a contestant, or the host to meet my super-conservative folks would petrify me.

Nikki gets a one on one date card and is worried that there will be dancing, another girl calls her negative (she is a bit of a sour puss).

Sharleen is freaking out, so of course she goes to talk to Renee, cause everyone knows that Renee is the den mom (and let’s be honest she looks a lot older than the other girls).

Nikki and JP start their one on one at a flower shop and they need to make a flower arrangement for his daughter’s dance recital – seems like a big step all his family will be there. They arrange a terrible bouquet. JP and Nikki walk into the dance recital and it looks like everyone was already there and just waiting for them…I would be so pissed if I was a ‘regular’ family there and had to wait on this cheesy moron when I probably didn’t even want to go to a kids recital to begin with.

So let us talk for a second about JP’s inconsistencies week to week. He is constantly talking about his fears of what his daughter might get from the show if he kisses too many girls, yet he is always kissing girls every 10 minutes on this show. Then he says I have to worry about whom she meets but he takes a date to her recital? A date that might not be there next week? JP’s ex was also there…well done sir, well done.

JP takes Nikki to his claimed ‘office’ Marlins park, Nikki says it is very empty; trust me Nikki, it is about the same attendance as a real Marlins' game. Seriously what does he do? They toss a baseball around, make out on a picnic blanket to stop serious conversations.

JP then talks about the moon and the skies again. I think the producers gave him a script and every time he looks up he forgets it, so he just mentions the first thing he sees.

Sharleen calls a house meeting with the girls to tell them how conflicted she is; and announces that she is leaving. She is even more like my ex now, never knowing for sure what she should do…Sharleen breaks down the 4^th wall and lets us know that she does not think she could just accept a proposal at the end of 3 weeks – gotta fulfill those contractual obligations. JP does his terrible consoling technique of repeatedly saying “look at me, don’t cry, look at me” [it did not work with Clare or Andi and does not work now either].

JP cries over Sharleen’s departure.

Group date time

 – if you get a rose here, JP gets to meet your family and they get to realize they no longer respect you.

Chelsie gets the first alone time, and breaks out the family mementos aaaaaand her parents wrote her notes…I guess it is cute? To me it just made me think she is still a child and her parents know it.

Andi immediately starts crying on her alone time with JP and claims to have a tough shell.

Now that Sharleen is gone Andi starts to steal some moves from her playbook, ‘act uncertain, make him comfort you, confuse him with big words, awkwardly kiss – go team go’.

We are supposed to be on Renee’s alone time, but instead we just see her and JP walking and then they cut back to the other girls talking…wow was it that boring they couldn’t even splice it together?

We cut to Clare’s alone time and JP immediately brings up her dead dad – wow dude, just wow. Clare brings up the video that her dad left for her for the man she is going to marry to watch. It is in DVD format and cynical guy jumps out again; what if by the time she gets hitched she doesn’t own a DVD player? Who are we kidding, she is going to get hitched soon, whether a guy wants it or not.

Andi gets the rose  and Clare looks murderous, Clare says “the people who are getting these roses are the people that are doubting themselves, who are not here for him”. She even gets the blurred cursing in the confessional room treatment – my favorite thing.

Andi and JP go to a Romeo Santos show (JP acted as if we should know who he is) they start dancing on stage. Andi claims that JP is a great dancer, but she also claimed that she doesn’t know anything about latin music – let’s add latin dancing to that lack of knowledge.  

Cut back to hotel room, Clare “I want to hang out with Nikki like I want to be stung by a jelly fish”. The exchange of the girls is awkward. Nikki calls a Clare statement stupid and storms off. Clare goes to confront her. Both girls get mad when they cut each other’s statements off “can you please not cut me off” is a repeated phrase. “You can just excuse yourself from my room” “Your room, did you pay for it?” “Did you?” this argument would win all the dumb girl debates for all time. “Clare is a dog, she peed on him first, she claimed some territory that might not be hers”.

We get another JP and the Yellow M&M candy advertisement and once again, Yellow out acts JP.

The more I see the tension between Nikki and the rest of the girls, I really want to just cut to the ‘After the final rose’ special to see all the yelling and behind the scenes catfights. Nikki is acting as if she is guaranteed to get a rose. Renee, Clare and Chelsea are talking about Nikki and all I can think about is…”Renee is supposed to be the same age as Clare? I have to look this up.” (I probably won’t). Nikki and Clare are left alone on the couch and we hear crickets, not just figuratively we actually hear them…I think the producers piped the sound in.

 Not a word is exchanged until Andi walks up then it goes back to silence. Ha didn’t have to do research, Renee’s age flashes on screen and yup she is allegedly 32…

JP as he leaves to make his decision with Chris feigns fanning himself with his hands, uh huh.

Rose Ceremony time:

Speech from Chris, speech from JP, glazed eyes from Cali J. Nikki gets the first rose and Clare gives murder face, 2^nd rose to Clare (no shock there), now the hammer – Renee gets the final rose again no shock. I never expected Chelsie to make it to the end.

JP immediately starts crying and looking away from her – oh man up G! The girl leaving should not have to comfort you.

Next week the Bachelor tries to kill me by having 2 episodes…looks like Clare’s family might have a Nikki gene in some of them. The blooper reel has Andi doing bad dancing.

 Gifs from http://www.buzzfeed.com/toddb17/the-bachelor-gif-recap-week-7-welcome-to-miami-dhd4

Now for E’s take

Not going to be a lot of notes, I don’t think…

Sharleen’s date:
She says that JP makes her feel happy, which isn’t something that she normally allows herself to feel.  That’s weird.  Really weird.
She has on another interesting bathing suit.  I think I’ve liked them all.

I hate that they edit in so many shots of tongue kissing. Full on tongue.  Ick when it is that close up of a shot.

Nikki’s date:
Risky going to meet the whole family (and baby mama!), wow.  Totally dick to put that on someone with no warning, but that’s gotta be pretty awesome for Nikki!  Do you even think that the dance recital was real? [Looked like a staged exhibit for his kid] And his ex looked Not. Pleased.

Sharleen tell the girls she is leaving.  Andi says “Are you suuuureee?” in a way that makes it sound like she doesn’t want to ruin the moment and have her change her mind.  :)  Why is JP staying at the hotel?  As much as I hate to admit it, he sort of was a little amazing about her leaving.

Group date:
Dude.  Andi needs to stop with the crying.  She’s pouty and fishing for something and it is just annoying.

Did JP just say I wish I can meet your dad to Claire?  That seems a bit insensitive. Oh man.  She just brought up the video.  This goes back to my comments about her on night one.  If she even shows that….  Claire thinks she is getting this group date rose.  I can’t wait to see her face when she doesn’t (I’m praying for this).  Yesss, so good.  She’s hilarious and such a poor loser.

Wow, this Claire and Nikki thing is ridiculous.  Claire is a nutcase.

Going into the cocktail/rose ceremony all I can think is: Why is Chelsie still there?

Well, she ended up going home.  No real surprise there.  Next week should be interesting.

 

Bachelor Episode 6, or let's go down under and seriously not chuckle at the references

This show is weakening me, yesterday I was able to rip open my snap peas bag, today, same type of packaging and I had to get scissors…I blame the show. JP says “I like this[x thing]” a lot. They are in Taupo, New Zealand – between the Bachelor and every Peter Jackson movie, New Zealand has had enough bloody free advertising. Clare says “last week in Vietnam everything kind of blew up in my face” and I give a juvenile “that’s what she said” chuckle.

Andi finally gets her one x one date.

And we have another scene of Renee comforting another girl who is thinking of leaving: Renee do you know the point of this show?

Date time, and JP’s voice over says that he talked to the locals and they told him a spot to go to…really JP, you spoke to the locals? You made inquiries? When, when did you do this? Why do I take this so seriously? I call shenanigans because I do not think that I should care this much about what feels like an obvious lie. Another thing I always find funny, is these peeps acting as if they are in some perilous situations when the camera man is clearly just ahead of them since they are on a steady cam the whole time.

JP says he has an amazing date planned for the evening and then says it will be in front of a geyser and “it is going to blow her mind” no way did he come up with that on his own. Of course the geyser goes off and of course they are too close, so the food all gets wet…maybe next time set up the meal in the distance, you can still see the effect but not soak your date.

Cassandra “as much as I miss my son, I had a really nice talk with Renee” look rarely if ever does anything good come out of a parent’s mouth if they say “as much as” then something about their kid. Way to make the kid secondary. Did I mention she is only 21 (22^nd birthday on her group date) is the baby mamma to an NBA player and danced for 2 different NBA teams…just saying.

Andi says to JP that she wants a family and it wows him – that is right girl, use those lawyering skills, you are not matching wits with a mental giant.

Group date time,

They roll down hills in OGOs Nikki and JP sneak kisses in the OGOs. For the evening portion they go to Hobbiton (where the Lord of the rings movies are filmed) Shareleen geeked out (I liked her bathing suit, it was risky and different [drats just noticed I copied the words from E’s text in my description).

Renee subtly tells JP that Cassandra is freaking out by saying that they both had mommy heart to hearts. They quickly make out because again JP + words = not that great.

Then a bad kiss with Nikki

On Sharleen’s one on one they say these words before a make out session (I even did the thing I hate doing I REWOUND the bachelor just to confirm) S; “Hi” JP: “Hi” S: “How are you?” JP: “Good How are you?” S: “Good.” JP: “That’s good” then MAKING OUT…and they say conversation is dead? Their make outs are always so awkward.

Cassandra (birthday girl) is on her date and I crack up that they have updated her age on the screen. She says JP is “such a good dad”. I wonder how she knows this, what about this makes you think he is a good dad? He left his daughter for months to go on the Bachelorette, now leaves her for weeks to be the Bachelor. Best dad in the world that guy!

Renee’s voice over says that she is rooting for Cassandra to get the rose if she does not get it; again, do you get the point of the show? JP gives the rose to Sharleen, and she does an awkward bow. (So happy there was a gif of this)
JP then takes Cassandra outside to talk and you know the axe is coming. He starts off by complimenting her looks – yup she is definitely going home.
Cassandra says “I have been waiting so long for someone special” she is 22! 'Happy Birthday' – 'get off the show', cruel timing.
Even crueler having to watch her and JP share that see thru umbrella this girl cannot catch a break. 

Time for the one on one with Clare:

JP and Clare hash out what happened in the ocean in Vietnam…the coitus we all suspect. They talk about what for them is deep conversation, maybe I should date dumber girls because this discussion was so simple and superficial and immediately went to making out. Absolutely none of the girls I have ever dated would have let me off the hook so easily for making them cry, then again I also eat ice cream every night and do not look like JP.

Much of their date is very boring, JP hands her sweats to put on to get comfy, they look like Hammer Pants on her which she immediately recognizes and does the Hammer dance. She thinks it is sexy that he wants her to be relaxed. JP puts on the song that he and Clare danced to on their first date and she acts as if he knew and remembered (or had access to his itunes account) to buy this song. The more I see him dancing, the less I think he can actually dance, I know I only see snippets (but the terrible moves are there).

We get the follow up on the guy who plans to propose to his girl aka the extended ad for Jared (with the Box with their name opening up perfectly infront of the camera); shockingly she says yes. Let’s move on.

For all the locations they head to in New Zealand they give full names and locations, I suspect the New Zealand tourist board put in some more demands than the tourist boards of Vietnam and Korea.

Cocktail party time:

Nikki is asked by JP why she likes him she responds with “I just do” and that leads to making out. Anyone remember that time when he said he didn’t want his daughter to see him kissing all these girls on TV? And, you would think that with all this kissing, he would be better at it.

Renee says that now that Cassandra is gone, it is risky for her. Uh huh. 2 dates, 2 make out sessions. I suspect every girl is getting a kiss tonight.

Chelsie over talks on her date, she is going a mile a minute and JP looks glazed.
 But, uh oh, she gets a kiss on the cheek.

Kat’s turn and she starts talking a tonne too (but sad stuff) – the eyes glaze again.

Rose ceremony time:

It is down to Kat and Chelsie and Chelsie gets the rose. Sharleen as always looks more distraught than the girl leaving…what is going on here? Kat goes out with a bit of a humble brag “My whole life I have been told about how great I am and yet here I sit [in the limo going home]”. Sharleen says “she feels guilty” for still being there.

Finally they are going to somewhere I have been next week…Miami. Sharleen hints that she might leave, am I too cynical for thinking that she is only now saying this because they have stopped travelling to exotic locations?

In the blooper reel we get a video of the girls running through the fields apparently chasing the sheep until we see that JP is actually flinging sheep poop at the girls. Yup, this is the show I watch! At least I know I will not die in my sleep tonight, no way could this be the last thing I see.

 And Now for E’s take

Taupo, New Zealand…  I’ve been there! Fun times were had. [Editor’s note, I bet they were]  Almost went skydiving there.  Anyway, Andi gets the first date.

The moms have a heart to heart…lots of tears.  Yawn.

Back to Andi’s date… So JP “talked to the locals” about a very romantic place.  Yeah, right.  I think I would be a little freaked out going through those tunnels in the water.  Water with nature in it creeps me out.  But where they end up is so beautiful.  And it’s funny because she talks about wanting to get to know JP better, and deeper, but all that gets stronger and deeper are their kisses and make-out sessions.  Sheesh.

The second part of the date is in Rotorua.  Which smells like bad eggs (sulfur).  That can’t be romantic!  God, it must smell SOOOOO bad.  [Editor’s note, we get it you were there (trying hard not to be jealous, I am failing terribly)] And then they get rained on by the geyser and it seems like Andi may not be one to go with the flow.  Then she back tracks a little and says it is all about the company and getting to know him…. I don’t buy it.

Group date:
My prediction from the previews last week was that they go zorbing.  Let’s see.

I can’t believe Cassandra is only just turning 22.  I bet the only reason she is on the show is because she already has a kid of her own.

Okay, so yes, what I experienced as zorbing is called something else now, but it is the same thing.  I never did it, but it looked like fun.  I just took pictures and watched people. [Editor's note, they are called OGOs and yup they look fun]

I’m a little jelly that they’re in Hobbtion.  Not gonna lie. [Editor’s note - Not gonna lie, amused that you said jelly]

It’s a little weird that Nikki never looks at JP when she talks to him. [Editor’s note – Shame does that]

Is it weird when Sharleen kisses because she always keeps her head super straight?  Maybe that’s what it is.  She’s just weird. [Editor’s note, I will let you slide this time on dissing my girl] And seriously, any time JP is telling the girls everything is going to be okay, it makes me laugh.  He gets this weird breathy voice.

HAHA! When JP pulls Cassandra out after giving the rose to Sharleen, Nikki says “He’s probably taking her out to say happy birthday…” and frowny nods sagely.  No, she is like, that bitch is OUTTA HERE! Yesssssss.  Anyway, Worst.  Birthday.  Ever.

Queue saddest song ever.  I snorted out loud. [Editor’s note, I think they blew the budget on flights and foreign limo rentals and couldn’t afford good music this episode]

So wait, Sharleen is thinking about going home?  And she already has a rose?  Doesn’t really surprise me (this isn’t quite a non sequitur, it was a “coming up next…”).

I don’t know if I can handle this Clare one on one.  I already feel like sighing heavily.  Anyway, so they have this long conversation and he goes on and on about not wanting to do anything that would be the wrong impression for this daughter, and then cue the close up of tonguing.  Again, sheesh. So in the room he puts on some song from their first date and I think my eyes actually hurt from rolling so far back into my head.  But they didn’t plug the song and artist, so I guess that sucks for whomever that was that I never knew and already forgot. [Editor’s note – they didn’t put any info on the song because they couldn’t remember who he was either, he could walk into my home right now and I would stare at him like “dude why did you just invade my home and why are you singing some terrible song?”]

OMG.  He said pink underwear.  “I like pink a lot.”  So, that question you asked me on text?  YES. [Editor’s note, I questioned some aspects about JP and his commitment to all these girls]

Pre-rose ceremony, if it is between Chelsie and Kat, Chelsie wins hands down with the one on one chats.  She went upbeat and Kat went dark.  Both of them are so confident the other is going home. [Editor’s note, is it bad that I was cool with both going home?]

So I guess the Sharleen freaking out and talking about going home is next week? Or did I totally zone out? (Oh there it is at the end).

I knew it!  Chelsie stays, Kat goes.  She bombed her one on one time.  Clare looks way too happy when Kat leaves.  And again Sharleen is way too torn up about one of the other girls leaving. [Editor’s note, guilt?]

Funny thing, the first place they go that I haven’t been to is Miami.  Go ahead, call me out on the humble brag. [Editor’s note I DID…gotcha Beeyotch]

From the outtakes, it looks like Renee might have been saved because he was impressed that she slung some sheep poop at him. [Editor’s note UGH I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT]

 

Bachelor recap or a Panda in a room full of brown bears.

Just admitted to new roomie that I watch this show, figured get the scorn out of the way early.

Tonight we travel to Vietnam, and I think, maybe we are going to exciting places because JP is so boring. Nikki acknowledges that there was a lot of tension in the house last week, and that she might be the cause…I acknowledge that they were in South Korea and not the house, but eh, Semantics.

Renee gets the one on one date. And we get the obligatory scene of her caking on makeup. JP puts her in a pedicab and starts pedaling, I wonder if he didn’t want to sit beside her?

JP says “the date card said ‘Are we the right fit?’ and I am going to get a tailored dress for her” makes you quickly realize he did not write it.  She gets fitted for the dress and they go off to buy gifts for their kids. The evening portion of the date arrives and Renee arrives in the dress. They enter a restaurant and Renee pretends to be shocked that it is just for the 2 of them…watch the show woman, watch the show.

JP brings up Ben’s dad (Renee’s baby daddy) not something you would bring up on a first date, but this show is weird. JP reaches forward to fix something on Renee’s face/hair and she leans in with the ‘expecting a kiss’ look. Cut to hotel, the girls find out who is going on the one on one date and Andi is sad when they deduce that it is Nikki.

Back to the date and Renee gets the rose and the kiss on the cheek. They send off wish baskets into the water and Renee’s wish is for a kiss, but JP in his confessional says it is not going to happen because her son (at 8 years old) is old enough to see and worry about it…if your kid is 8 and watching the Bachelor, you have bigger problems than him seeing you kiss peeps.

The group date –

They are all paired up to get in boats, but the girls don’t want to pair with Clare so she ends up in the boat with JP…Kelly (dog lover) notes “first time ever it works out not having friends”. Like every episode, JP’s shirt comes off. JP thinks he is smooth and tries to sneak kisses with Clare, he is the very opposite since all the girls see it happen.

Cut to a Nikki confessional where she is worried that she is not on the group date and that if she were on it she might not get the group date rose then says this gem “that is silly, I always get the rose”.

The girls are handed hats and baskets and led outside to work, one girl calls it a garden but it is clearly a field, this is not someone’s backyard potting, this is a farm! Cassandra says it would be cool to have stuff like this in the states, WE DO!

Clare says “I am just going to be Clare” I suspect she has said that a tonne in her life. We get a Jared jewelry tie in where some guy basically reveals that he stalked his girl online, next week we get to see if she says yes to his proposal (let me spoil it for you from now she says "YES"…no way he agreed to the ad, and no way Jared runs it if she said no while he was holding one of their engagement rings).

Clare gets pulled aside first for the one on one interaction. JP takes her to his suite and mysteriously she ends up in the water in a bathing suit while in her confessional she says “I keep ending up in the water with no bathing suit”. I am not the greatest eye for women’s fashion, but I KNOW THAT BRAS DO NOT TIE WITH STRINGS AROUND THE NECK. Sorry for shouting, but the ridiculousness of the confessional voice over while I am staring at her in the pool was silly.

I need him to see me as a “Panda in a room full of brown bears” that is Sharleen’s words while she is wearing a black and white dress that has no back – I can dig it. They kiss but I did not see it because on instinct I turned away, E swears it was normal this time (see below).

 I also wonder how much time there is in between these one on one moments, since JP seems completely dry. Andi apologizes to her mom because she is “sucking face again”.

Clare gets the rose

and Andi gives stink face.

The girls get back to their room and Claire sneaks out to go see JP (who notes that it is 4am) and get him to do a first for her ‘swim in a warm ocean’ (that is code for Sex right?).

I know to many peeps that request might seem weird, but to someone who used to always swim in the ocean and then moved to beside the Pacific…I MISS THE WARM waters. I used to go swimming at 3am in Jamaica and it was awesome, I now live blocks from the water and I never swim in it. The Pacific was designed to stunt growth; every time I dip just a toe in I think I will never be able to produce kids.

Time for Nikki’s one on one date and she dresses like a 90s tennis star. We see her take her suitcase and place it by the door (foreshadowing? Doubt it, she is too cute and pushes the right buttons). Continuing the tradition of extreme dates, they are going to rappel down a rock face to a cave.

Nikki is nervous, she lists her options as “I either live, or I die, or I poop my pants.” Just like Clare with bungee jumping of course she does it…then says she would not do it for any ordinary guy just for someone she is falling for, or as I think is much more honest – because she is on TV.

Nikki speaks intelligently about her job, which leaves me slightly sad, I do not want to view these girls as normal beings. She smoothly transitions into saying she has a lot of love to give to someone and their child. Nikki of course gets the rose.

Rose ceremony is coming up and Renee when seeing the location says “perfect setting for a first kiss” she is desperate. JP announces that he is sending home 3 people that night, I immediately think Danielle is one because I never see her interacting with him. JP tells Andi not to be nervous about the rose ceremony. “Dame un besito” (give me a little kiss) that is JP teaching Andi how to speak Spanish…creeper.

Renee convinces JP that her son already knows she has issues so it is okay to slobber her, and so he does.

This leads to her spinning around like a top.

JP pulls Clare aside to talk about their 4am swim class and his regrets about doing it. This leads to Clare crying (she is allegedly 32) she says that when they were in the ocean “it was a mutual feeling, there was no miscommunication, there was no misunderstanding, he was on board with everything”…uhmm did they tap? They did - didn't they? It sounds like someone tapped, plus her toast had that pause in it with the "making love".

No gif but look at the post toast faces she has the "whoo hoo I did it look" and he has the "oh crap she just admitted it to everyone look"

Clare continues crying for another session and asks JP if he wants to take the rose back. Cynical me thinks part of this is her playing a game since she knows she is safe.

Oh hey there Chris Harrison, I see you got the free trip to Vietnam for ten minutes of work. The line up commences. Andi gets the final rose which makes my prediction of Danielle correct, but Kelly the Dog lover is gone which means her catty comments are gone and I will miss those. I think having JP separated from her dog for so long cost her. Sharleen and JP are both crying like they were the ones cut.

They are heading to New Zealand next week...wonder if they cut 3 girls to save cost.

The blooper reel has the girls riding oxen. 

 And now thoughts from E (including a mini humble brag re her travels): 

Okay, so I have to warn you that this may get a little heavy on the personal comments because I know one of the places they go is Hoi An, and that’s easily one of the top 5 places I’ve ever been to in my life, and I was there last March so it is still fresh.

Rene has the first one on one date.  I think she is going to get sent home (this is my guess before seeing the date).  So the date takes place in Hoi An.  I know exactly where they are!  I spent 5 days exploring this place and fell in love with it.  I miss it.  When they’re wandering the streets I’m right back there.  And it’s funny she said during the measurements for her dress sorry I’m sweaty and I was like oh yeah that was me too.  LOL

Well, looks like I was wrong.  Rene got the rose.  But I am glad.  I like her.  But her not getting a kiss is getting more and more awkward.

Andi is being an idiot about not getting the one on one date. Deal with it.

Group date.

Not much to say.  Until JP “randomly” finds some guy who invites him into his home to eat.  Yeah.  Random.  These girls are idiots.  They just happen to have hats for everyone.  And some sort of utensil or something.  And a community garden.  Holy cow how great was it that they randomly found this place that wasn’t planned at all!  Maybe Chelsie is the biggest idiot.

Sharleen: “I need to believe that he sees me as a panda in a room full of brown bears.”  Ummmmm, okayyyy…  Oh wow, did they have a normal looking kiss?

Um, did Claire just say they did it, basically?  For someone who implemented a no kiss rule she sure is a slut.

Nikki’s one on one date:

Ha! She cracks me up.  At the entrance to the cave: “Should someone call my mom and tell her that I love her?”  It’s also funny that JP is all of a sudden no longer afraid of heights (remember the bungee jump?).

The beginning of the cocktail party is so awkward.  And then Claire’s toast about making love?  Yeah, she boned him.

Yes! Rene got her kiss.  The swelling music and everything makes it seems like they’re going to have an immaculate conception from that kiss.

And back to the Claire being a slut… isn’t it funny how she is going on and on about not realizing his daughter might see it?  Um, what about your mom?  Family and friends?  No matter how much you want to get it on, seriously, how can you forget cameras are on you and basically you’re making porn?

Rose Ceremony

Andi looks desperate.  Wow.  But she got the rose.  I was not at all surprised by the 3 that went home.  The last of the riff raff in my opinion. And I just cackled out loud seeing JP all teary saying goodbye to the girls.  Wow, that was funny.

Previews for the next episode go to New Zealand.  From the clips they show my thoughts are: Zorbing! Milford Sound! (maybe).  They’re trip around the world is all places I’ve traveled to before.