Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, April 13, 2008

2 guys walk into a bar...and just stare. Vol23

Shout out to Assassin! So the S.A. and I went to a bar last night and had a moment where we both were forced to realize..."We are not as cool as we think we are." So some background. Assassin and I both spotted this amazingly hot girl in the club at the same time, and I mean hot like the lyrics to "I wanna make LOVE in this club" start to make sense hot (will blog about that song later this is just so damn ridiculous).

Anyway, the young lady made us both tongue tied. I am the first to admit that I have no lines, I do not use them, I do not rehearse them, so I have none. In fact when I 'pick up' a girl in the bar, it is usually an accident, like for instance I am making fun of something she did and it amused her, or, she picked me up but was nice enough to make it seem like I was the person making the move (I like that women try to save men's egos while knowing all the time that they are in control).

I mean this chick had us wrecked to the point that we played Rock, Paper, Scissors (discreetly of course) with the proviso that the loser had to go talk to her...Assassin lost, and he still has not said word one to her yet.

One of the best parts of the whole situation was that at one point the young lady looked us over, and then sat in a chair by the fire pit, directly infront of Assassin and I (we were at Altitude). So this meant that the young ladies head, (well the back of it) was directly at our crotches. I am just shy of 6 feet (6'4" with the fro) and Assassin is I think (6'4"...or something like that I can never remember, just know that he is tall).

So you would think that having the young lady right 'below' us would spur us into action...but nope, all it did was have us stare at each other and insist that the other should go talk to her. We then started trying to run through scenarios to get her to talk to us. Of course you would have expected normal peeps to conduct this in whispers but not SA and I, we conducted the whole conversation in normal bar tones. For the hottie to not have heard us she would have had to be deaf...yeah that is it she was deaf, that is why I did not spit game to her...not because I am a coward, but because she would not have been able to hear clue what Assassin's excuse is. But that is mine!

So I guess the gist of this blog is to say...Assassin is a coward and he cannot pick up a girl even if she is deaf and practically has her head in his lap!

And the Cali J might be kind of weak at it too...might


swiffer sheet V said...

All I remember about Club Altitude, was the women were skanky. That was the night we evented the Skank Game and had the conversation the difference between a whore and a skank. Good times.

Abeni said...

lol,you both need help.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.