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Thursday, May 29, 2014

Bachelorette, season 10 episode 2 a stripped down review!

We are watching a day late because VEGAS baby, and E and Armani have trapped me once again into doing this via a Bachelorette viewing party. The promo starts with another clip of Eric (the guy who died) and it gets creepy.

A guy flashes on screen for mere seconds and E yells “that Dude is so gay…” told ya. Andi arrives to pick up Eric and Armani brings up a good point “Why are they all shirtless?” Andi and Eric go to the beach, and Andi parks in the red - so blatant that she doesn’t have to plan anything...would be awesome if she got towed.

And the Bachelorette’s helicopter budget kicks in, Up, up and away! In keeping with the adventurer's love of everything outdoorsy and exhilarating, Andi organised for the couple to be picked up from the beach by a helicopterAndi lets us know that this is her first time on a helicopter “and on a first date no less”, way to show us that you didn't plan this. They land on a snow capped mountain, (Bear Mountain) and the snow is fake (hate to let you non-Cali peeps in on this, but it was a horrible year for snow) and so hard, Andi could barely pick it up to do the obligatory snow ball fight. 'Seriously, can we find something he's not good at!' While the assistant district attorney struggled to get to grips with the basics of snowboarding, her beau was a natural and confidently showed her the ropes, which impressed her greatly

They are given a lesson on the “ultimate boarder type dude” (Louie Vito - snowboarder Olympian and Dancing with the Star's contestant [ABC synergy]) then hot chocolate on the slopes. They then go to a cabin and we in the living room discuss doing Bachelorette bingo. We also decided that we could not take shots on certain phrase ('Right reasons', 'amazing' etc...for me it is now 'Stop' and 'Y'all') Andi calls Eric a Renaissance man proving the phrase is over-used and she doesn't know what the phrase actually means. Eric tells Andi of his trip to Syria, I know it is a heart tugging story, but all I can think is - this is a guy that put himself and others in danger for the thrill of travelling the many ways it is selfish and foolish.

I miss much of this date because we are all discussing his death, and I look it up (Paragliding in Utah).

Group date time -
It is something peeps are hesitant to talk about but the Bachelorette always objectifies men pretty quickly, they always, always have to get shirtless, this is terrible, when will we stop slut-shaming our men??? (some of that is tongue in cheek, but it is pretty blatant, we would never see the Bachelor tell the group of girls to strip...then again let's see what happens when the ratings dip).

So the guys are going to work at a male Revue, they are split into groups, Firefighters, Army men, Cowboys etc…one of the geniuses asks of the actual firefighter in the group…”Are these real?” while holding a clearly fake fireman’s helmet.

We get to watch the guys practice their moves...they are not good. Craig is more interested in how the other guys look than in how he himself is performing. We see Chris Harrison smacking a guys ass. Bachelorette strip gif The Bachelorette: (Exotic) Dancing for Charity

Apparently the club allows in sub-21 girls *I saw the huge X on her hand!

Sharleen (Oprah singer) and Kelly (dog lover?) from last season were allegedly back to help Andi judge the guys dancing...I thought Sharleen was supposedly working in Europe when the Bachelor was filmed - guess that is done

Craig the accountant appears sauced early in the evening portion of the group date...foreshadowing. 'Do they know they're here to date... and not get loaded and party?' Poor old Craig got a little intoxicated following the group date, and while it was at first amusing to the other guys, he soon took things too far when he jumped into the pool fully-clothed, which upset and angered Andi

The former 'pro-athlete' tries to hint strongly that his career was better than it was, and of course Andi admits to having dated a few pro athletes. While we cut to the accountant getting more and more drunk.

The next solo date card arrives and the guy claims “Andi is the greatest girl in the world” yup the girl you have spent zero time with.
The opera singer is singing - that is going to get old fast. Armani “that guy is not getting the rose”

Andi allows Craig to ask any question he wants and he asks “what is your worst thing about your parents...How is that? Boom”Cringe-worthy moment: The brunette attempted to be cordial with the tax accountant, though his probing questions were more than a little awkward Every season there is someone who gets blitzed and makes an ass of himself, last year it was the Brazilian girl, this year it is Craig...who no one rational could hire at this point right? The Bachelorette Craig gets drunk

Andi really looks amazing in that dress, I could see why guys act dumb around her, though that may be unfair here, alot of these guys are probably already dumb.
 Another one on One
The farmer gets the one on one date and they go to Santa Anita race tracks and the farmer shows up in a casual shirt and shorts so we get a makeover - this show is really running out of ideas. He looks very uncomfortable in a suit. The Bachelorette Andi and Chris at the racesThey really are recycling the old tropes, the couple meets an older couple that have been together for ever (obvious plants). Armani, “They probably are not even married, they are just actors”. ‘

The right reasons phrase has been used a tonne tonight...the farmer brings up that he was previously engaged - why? Who does that on a real first date? E brings up the lack of chemistry between the 2 while Andi in her confessionals keeps talking about how great they are together.

The tradition continues, no one in our group knows who the musical group is ‘This Wild life’ but Andi and the farmer kiss. The Bachelorette - Recap and Review - Season 10 Episode 2

It is getting close to rose ceremony time and Marquel is wearing a tie that is so bad I almost want him booted off the show. Andi walks in with a really low cut dress and quite a few guys blatantly stare straight at her boobs. One guy was so blatant I am not sure if he knows if Andi was bald tonight or not. Despite the massive cleavage plunge, it really is a terrible dress, is it bedazzled?bachelorette-fashion-andi-dorfman

The awkward quick hits begin, all the guys vying for the time to pull Andi to the side and to quickly tell her their life story...DON’T CAREEEEEEE!!!
Marquel adds to the wildness of his outfit by debuting some socks that he is blatantly showing off by keeping his pants leg high.

A guy breaks out sock puppets, another breaks plates with Andi, Armani (on fire tonight) “Those are total white guy moves, no black guy is doing sock puppets and breaking plates”. Then again prior to last week I probably would have said no black guy would lead with a cookie party.

Andi kisses guy number 2 and the show amps the sound on the kiss.
'This kiss feels like the beginning of something': The 29-year-old scored the second kiss of the season, which he said afterwards he would 'never forget for as long as I live'
Craig breaks out a guitar and surprises us all by actually being funny with the song.
'That's a mistake I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life': Not even a cheesy serenade could save Craig following his drunken antics, with Andi saying farewell to the 29-year-old to the surprise of no-one
Rose Ceremony time
Decisions, decisions: Andi appeared pained as she made the tough choice as to who to send home
Chris Hanson does the move of pretending that these moments are serious...hard to believe that we are only 2 episodes in and I take so much joy out of these guys' discomfort. The 1.5 black guys get roses early proving me right that no way were they going this soon in the season.
The show is really playing up the fake drama of the guys waiting for their roses. Down to the final rose and the Opera guy gets it...displeasing E greatly “He is such a tool”. Unfortunately we are losing Craig.
The golfer gets the boot, and looks close to tears. Craig realizes that getting trashed was not the best plan.

Apparently other peeps have noticed that Andi says "stop" alot

In the previews we see Andi kissing a tonne of guys.

The outtake shows the golfer being really funny in his stripper robot outfit

1 comment:

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.