We are watching a day late because VEGAS baby, and E and Armani have trapped me once again into doing this via a Bachelorette viewing party. The promo starts with another clip of Eric (the guy who died) and it gets creepy.
A guy flashes on screen for mere seconds and E yells “that Dude is so gay…” told ya. Andi arrives to pick up Eric and Armani brings up a good point “Why are they all shirtless?” Andi and Eric go to the beach, and Andi parks in the red - so blatant that she doesn’t have to plan anything...would be awesome if she got towed.
And the Bachelorette’s helicopter budget kicks in, 
Andi lets us know that this is her first time on a helicopter “and on a first date no less”, way to show us that you didn't plan this. They land on a snow capped mountain, (Bear Mountain) and the snow is fake (hate to let you non-Cali peeps in on this, but it was a horrible year for snow) and so hard, Andi could barely pick it up to do the obligatory snow ball fight. 
Andi lets us know that this is her first time on a helicopter “and on a first date no less”, way to show us that you didn't plan this. They land on a snow capped mountain, (Bear Mountain) and the snow is fake (hate to let you non-Cali peeps in on this, but it was a horrible year for snow) and so hard, Andi could barely pick it up to do the obligatory snow ball fight.
They are given a lesson on Snowboarding...by the “ultimate boarder type dude” (Louie Vito - snowboarder Olympian and Dancing with the Star's contestant [ABC synergy]) then hot chocolate on the slopes. They then go to a cabin and we in the living room discuss doing Bachelorette bingo. We also decided that we could not take shots on certain phrase ('Right reasons', 'amazing' etc...for me it is now 'Stop' and 'Y'all') Andi calls Eric a Renaissance man proving the phrase is over-used and she doesn't know what the phrase actually means. Eric tells Andi of his trip to Syria, I know it is a heart tugging story, but all I can think is - this is a guy that put himself and others in danger for the thrill of travelling the world...in many ways it is selfish and foolish.
I miss much of this date because we are all discussing his death, and I look it up (Paragliding in Utah).
Group date time -
It is something peeps are hesitant to talk about but the Bachelorette always objectifies men pretty quickly, they always, always have to get shirtless, this is terrible, when will we stop slut-shaming our men??? (some of that is tongue in cheek, but it is pretty blatant, we would never see the Bachelor tell the group of girls to strip...then again let's see what happens when the ratings dip).
So the guys are going to work at a male Revue, they are split into groups, Firefighters, Army men, Cowboys etc…one of the geniuses asks of the actual firefighter in the group…”Are these real?” while holding a clearly fake fireman’s helmet.
We get to watch the guys practice their moves...they are not good. Craig is more interested in how the other guys look than in how he himself is performing. We see Chris Harrison smacking a guys ass.
Apparently the club allows in sub-21 girls *I saw the huge X on her hand!
Sharleen (Oprah singer) and Kelly (dog lover?) from last season were allegedly back to help Andi judge the guys dancing...I thought Sharleen was supposedly working in Europe when the Bachelor was filmed - guess that is done
Sharleen (Oprah singer) and Kelly (dog lover?) from last season were allegedly back to help Andi judge the guys dancing...I thought Sharleen was supposedly working in Europe when the Bachelor was filmed - guess that is done
Craig the accountant appears sauced early in the evening portion of the group date...foreshadowing. 
The former 'pro-athlete' tries to hint strongly that his career was better than it was, and of course Andi admits to having dated a few pro athletes. While we cut to the accountant getting more and more drunk.
The next solo date card arrives and the guy claims “Andi is the greatest girl in the world” yup the girl you have spent zero time with.
The opera singer is singing - that is going to get old fast. Armani “that guy is not getting the rose”
Andi allows Craig to ask any question he wants and he asks “what is your worst thing about your parents...How is that? Boom”
Every season there is someone who gets blitzed and makes an ass of himself, last year it was the Brazilian girl, this year it is Craig...who no one rational could hire at this point right? 
Every season there is someone who gets blitzed and makes an ass of himself, last year it was the Brazilian girl, this year it is Craig...who no one rational could hire at this point right?
Andi really looks amazing in that dress, I could see why guys act dumb around her, though that may be unfair here, alot of these guys are probably already dumb.
Another one on One
The farmer gets the one on one date and they go to Santa Anita race tracks and the farmer shows up in a casual shirt and shorts so we get a makeover - this show is really running out of ideas. He looks very uncomfortable in a suit. 
They really are recycling the old tropes, the couple meets an older couple that have been together for ever (obvious plants). Armani, “They probably are not even married, they are just actors”. ‘
They really are recycling the old tropes, the couple meets an older couple that have been together for ever (obvious plants). Armani, “They probably are not even married, they are just actors”. ‘
The right reasons phrase has been used a tonne tonight...the farmer brings up that he was previously engaged - why? Who does that on a real first date? E brings up the lack of chemistry between the 2 while Andi in her confessionals keeps talking about how great they are together.
The tradition continues, no one in our group knows who the musical group is ‘This Wild life’ but Andi and the farmer kiss. 
It is getting close to rose ceremony time and Marquel is wearing a tie that is so bad I almost want him booted off the show. Andi walks in with a really low cut dress and quite a few guys blatantly stare straight at her boobs. One guy was so blatant I am not sure if he knows if Andi was bald tonight or not. 
Despite the massive cleavage plunge, it really is a terrible dress, is it bedazzled?
Despite the massive cleavage plunge, it really is a terrible dress, is it bedazzled?
The awkward quick hits begin, all the guys vying for the time to pull Andi to the side and to quickly tell her their life story...DON’T CAREEEEEEE!!!
Marquel adds to the wildness of his outfit by debuting some socks that he is blatantly showing off by keeping his pants leg high.
A guy breaks out sock puppets, another breaks plates with Andi, Armani (on fire tonight) “Those are total white guy moves, no black guy is doing sock puppets and breaking plates”. Then again prior to last week I probably would have said no black guy would lead with a cookie party.
Andi kisses guy number 2 and the show amps the sound on the kiss.
Craig breaks out a guitar and surprises us all by actually being funny with the song.
Rose Ceremony time
Chris Hanson does the move of pretending that these moments are serious...hard to believe that we are only 2 episodes in and I take so much joy out of these guys' discomfort. The 1.5 black guys get roses early proving me right that no way were they going this soon in the season.
Chris Hanson does the move of pretending that these moments are serious...hard to believe that we are only 2 episodes in and I take so much joy out of these guys' discomfort. The 1.5 black guys get roses early proving me right that no way were they going this soon in the season.
The show is really playing up the fake drama of the guys waiting for their roses. Down to the final rose and the Opera guy gets it...displeasing E greatly “He is such a tool”. Unfortunately we are losing Craig.
The golfer gets the boot, and looks close to tears. Craig realizes that getting trashed was not the best plan.
Apparently other peeps have noticed that Andi says "stop" alot
In the previews we see Andi kissing a tonne of guys.
The outtake shows the golfer being really funny in his stripper robot outfit
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