Bachelor Episode 6 recap or an overdose of love in a week

I am coming off partying in Miami for Super Bowl week, why do the Bachelor producers hate me? I need some me time.

 

The show whisks the girls off to Chile:

 

And Mykenna is still crying about not getting her time with Peter.

"Mykenna is very weepy like a sad wet dog on the side of the road" – 'Racist' Victoria F (VF)

 

Hannah Ann gets the one on one date:

 

One of the girls says "I am happy for her" and Natasha honestly says "I am not."

Hannah Ann asks Peter "to teach me something in Spanish" Peter speaks to her like a man who just learned Spanish in high school and not someone with a Spanish speaking parent (I am hoping it was because he was trying to teach).

 

As always happens with a Bachelor date they come upon a street fair, and the move of finding a couple that has been married for a long time, the wife says "she is so young" we all think that my dear.

Peter asks the couple what is the secret to staying married for a long time  - "communication…and Love with BIG LETTERS."

Guess the producers had to scramble, a 20 year long marriage seems short for this show's usual trope.

 

I miss my parent's smart DVR it is nice being able to just press fast forward and have the machine automatically stop.                                                                                                                                                                                 

 

Peter is surprised that Hannah Ann has never been in love SHE IS 22!

Hannah Ann says she wants to go deep, she doesn't want superficial, the superficial waters only allow you to catch minnows, I am sure in her head this is profound.

Peter walks away during their nighttime date from Hannah Ann because he needs 'time to think' about whether she is ready, he runs away A LOT! Hannah Ann goes to find him and starts to cry (because it has already been proven that tears melt Peter) and Peter immediately says "this is what I wanted to see." Of course Hannah Ann (okay I gotta go to HA I can't type that name out all the time) gets the date rose.

 

Back at the hotel and 2 date cards arrive; Mykenna after hearing her name on the group date card says "I feel like I want to vomit" Mykenna is weeping, as VF gets the solo date card.

 

The Group date:

The ladies are on the set of a telenovela and they will be playing the stars on "El Amore De Pedro"

Mykenna plays the maid who is constantly in the background lusting after the star Pedro, Mykenna thinks this is true to life for her.

 

Kelley plays Pedro's (Peter's grandma) and terms herself a "GILF Grandma I would like to Fantasy Suite with."

In the end Pedro ends up with the Maid but his dad OMCH comes in to yell as the couple is making out that the Maid is actually Pedro's aunt…ah telenovelas.

 

Evening portion:

Kelsey is thanking Peter for trusting in her.

The Demi look alike Victoria P (VP) asks to sit on Peter's lap because "touch is one of my love languages." All that touching does not help VP because Peter tells her "I don't know if I can see you as my wife" and this ends her journey. VP tells Peter "I am worried for you…I hope that you are making the right decisions." VP immediately asks for a car "can I get a car, can I get a cab" as she is asking the other girls are commenting that she and Peter have been together for over an hour.

Madison finally getting some screen time, has her time with Peter occupied by reading a new telenovela script that Peter wrote just for them and an exaggerated make out session.

 

Uh oh as the girls are recapping the day Mykenna is being super cheerful and Tammy calls her out (Mykenna had packed her bags before the date). As Tammy tries to question Mykenna, Kelsey jumps in to defend her. I like Tammy but she is really putting herself out on a skinny limb in picking her battles (Natasha calls her out in an ITM) and her confrontation with Mykenna and Kelsey leads to shouting that Peter and Madison can hear from the outside during their make out session.

Mykenna asks Tammy if she is going to talk to Peter about their issues, Tammy says she will not, but then Mykenna immediately goes to find Peter and brings up Tammy.

 

Peter "the rose is going to go to someone that has me really, really excited about the future, Madison."

'Racist' Victoria F one on one:

The date has the couple learning how to be a huaso, and observing some horseplay (I couldn't help myself).

 

Peter is asking VF why it feels like she wants to sabotage their relationship. VF says she does not know "specifically why I put my walls up" Peter tells her that if she sees something with him like he sees with her he needs her to take the walls down. VF plays the game of saying Peter might prefer someone else and causes Peter to tell her that he is crazy about her. VF says she feels like she is going to throw up so she gets up from the table to go to the bathroom to talk to a producer, while Peter remains at the table asking a producer "what do I say, what do I do?"

VF says "literally this is the most I have ever tried with anybody" this is trying?

 

Cut back to the hotel Natasha and Sydney are discussing VF and Peter and they think that it is clear that Peter is really into VF. The ladies are not wrong because Peter repeatedly tells us he wants VF.

 

Much of this is probably my inherent distrust of VF but I think she knows she has Peter sprung and she is playing the hard to get game to manipulate the situation. Of course VF accepts the rose from Peter.

 

As all the girls are contemplating the upcoming cocktail party and saying how much time they need to spend with Peter a date card shows up and it tells Mykenna and Tammy to meet Peter before the cocktail party for a '2 on 1' date with the last line "Enough is enough."

 

Tammy breaks out a stunning dress for the 2 on 1, it starts with Mykenna saying "I am going to say something to you and please do not interrupt me" and it’s a speech about "kindness wins, love wins."

Peter meets them and says "I am just going to be blunt and honest" he is seeking clarity because he wants to be done with the drama "there is no room for it at this point."

 

Tammy is up first, Tammy says that Mykenna is there to brand build and tells Peter that Mykenna had said her goodbyes before the last date.

Mykenna goes next and rebuts it all.

 

Peter sits back down between the two women and says "Mykenna I heard everything you had to say and I believe you…Tammy can I walk you out?"

Tammy in the car "he wants a trophy wife, and I am not that. I am not gonna change for a man."

 

The cocktail party is just all the girls trying to reassure Peter that they are there for him.

I will be honest I am sad to see Tammy go, I enjoyed the bit she brought to this show.

 

Rose Ceremony:

The first rose goes to Kelsey, (makes sense now that Tammy is gone), Natasha surprised me and gets a rose, the final rose goes to Kelley. Mykenna and Sydney are both gone, BOTH girls who attacked Tammy, so look Tammy just beat y'all to picking up a better suite at the goodbye hotel…

Sydney is in tears as she leaves, so too is Mykenna but that one you could have guessed without me saying anything. Now as everyone has noted this season feels clearly producer driven, what was the point of retaining anyone from the 2 on 1 to then send the girl home hours later? Drama, that’s the point.

 

Bloopers:

Peter is going to town on bbq on his date with VF and talking about the meat sweats which is something VF cannot relate to because she is a vegetarian "sounds kind of gross' "I am a vegetarian but I would eat meat for Peter one time, but not more than one time though."