Infrequently updated consistently funny

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Buddies to play with your balls

So I taught a new person how to play tennis: I love converting people to the joys of tennis...Nothing better than playing tennis against a finely dressed young athletic woman; yes yes I know Im a bad person, but hey Im a politician. So my muscles are aching, maybe lifting and then playing tennis was not the smartest thing I have ever done.

Situps whoo hoo I am now up to 1034 situps...for the entire year ok so that number is exagerated by about 1000. But I swear Im going to start doing situps. Do u know what I read yesterday? Men lose a half inch for every 15 pounds gained over your ideal weight. ARGH. I have for the last 2 years said I had gotten smaller now I have found a scientific study that might prove that I am not crazy.

Nothing like having drunk friends over for drinks, I thought I could talk, but drunk friends that were already talkative can bend your ear...oh and dude when u call me on the phone and say "just a quick question" 5 mins later I shouldnt have to ask you what the question is that u wanted to ask me.

Beard growth going strong; the hair is getting long enough to actually start to feel soft to the touch...sexy kinnda!

I love u girl! Who ever responds to that it was meant for you.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.