Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, July 19, 2004

Late night again

Went out once again though I said I would go to bed early 2nite: It was hilarious to see my peeps Mike, Kelsey, Lovi and Dru hammered to the point of pulverised.
   Memo to the hottie  I saw 2nite but was too shy to step to: It was nice of you to stare at me all night and then only wink at me when my boys are drunk and stumbling out the bar so I have to follow them
 Memo to Jess' roomie: thanks for spotting me in the bar and coming to talk to me right at the moment when it looked like hot girl was going to say hi...couldnt have left the bar alone w/o you.
  Man my tennis game has improved: So my lil Iranian counterpart what was that quote " I cant lose to a black guy"...well its on if you would stop ducking me I would kick your ass on the court.
  Does anyone want to go to the gym with me.  Oh and if anyone wants to run the stadium steps with me I would like the company.
Memo to the bouncers who tried to make us wait in line: The club is empty jackass let people in. No one is fooled by those fake lines that you guys create in Pacific Beach.
Memo to myself have to think of a pickup line so I can overcome this painful shyness
- Oh and when meeting australians its not cool to remind them that though both Jamaica and Australia are part of the common wealth, Jamaica is paradise and Australia is a penal colony. I thought it was funny they didnt.
       Serious topic: Can I screw up my life anymore? Girls have always controlled my hind brain, thankfully I have always had control of the frontal lobe: But now it seems like women are trying to control all aspects of my life. I lust after them, the ones that want me I dont want; the ones I want have difficulty with the ones that I have had, the ones I have had, worry about what we have done (nothing much u know stone cold virgin blah blah blah) and the ones I want to do things to in some cases have put me on hiatus: In so many cases all this is coupled in one girl.
    How can women be such complex creatures: How can yall want us, hate us, play with us, loathe us, set us up, and at the same time smile about it all. WOMAN IS STRESS!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.