Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

You know how you know you love food? vol1.2

When you stare at food ads for a store that is already closed, just so you can think about meals to make.

- I have accepted the fact that I am a fat ass. My doctor took me off dairy products while recovering from the flu (apparently it triggers phlegm). The whole time that I have been off dairy I have been dreaming about ice cream. In fact I had thoughts of "screw it, I will risk coughing just to taste ice cream"

- I was flirting via AIM tonight and I brought up my desire for coconut ice cream. I just crave ICE CREAM damn it! I discovered coconut powder in my pantry, and could not resist using it in everything the last couple days.
- Coconut rice,
- Coconut bubble tea,
- Coconut water (not surprisingly...not that great)
- Coconut sprinkled over cookies
--No clue why I sometimes just latch on to a food item and run it into the ground.

Anyway tomorrow I go back into the doc and get the results of my blood tests, the only thing I am not being tested for is DNA (by the way blood tests...not that cheap!). So I had the thought that maybe I should just deep fry my breakfast tomorrow, cause it would suck to show up at the doc's office to hear "No more fried food!" and not have taken one last run at clogging my arteries.

Blood tests are one of the few things where you are happy to spend money to hear the words - "NEGATIVE" I am being tested for things like diabetes, cholesterol, triglycerides etc...please God let everything be good. After all, what is the point of losing all this weight if in the end I get bad news? Looking at the is 12 hours away...please be negative, please be negative, please - well u get the picture.

Oh by the way for all my fellow fat assers (it should be a word damn it) out there McDonalds is giving away free McSkillets this Thursday and Friday with the purchase of a Medium or Large drink (get a diet coke).


Abeni said...

If it's any consolation I dream of food and wake up laughing

Crankyputz said...

I feel you on this post. And coconut just makes everything taste amazing!!!

I was thinking the other day (whilst munching on Tostitos) that I am starting to be ok with the idea of dying young, so long as I can eat the good stuff....

Ps. I know I owe you a word on just depresses me everytime I think of the score...

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.