If this was your fist time watching the Bachelor, I would
not be surprised if you never came back, this episode was the most boring of
the season, bit of a bland appetizer to cleanse the palate before we get to the
spiciness of next weeks "Catfight" or whatever the real name is of
the 'Women tell all' episode.
Sean calls Catherine goofy and then admits to
being goofy himself, yes to start the show we get Sean telling us about all
three girls it is basically a “previously on the Bachelor” recap without a proper
voice over artist doing it.
The problem with this recap is that it
quickly shows you how dumb all these persons are.
We are graced with Sean in the pool blatantly
posing for the camera; you are welcome ladies, and some men.
They go to a Thai market and everything looks
flashy then Sean the sadist strikes again, Lindsay had told him that she would
try anything except bugs and so of course Sean takes her to go eat bugs. I
worry about this guy and whomever he finally ends up with. 
Lindsay says she would love exploring the world,
remember ladies, the show pays for all these trips not the Bachelor. 
“There are beautiful flowers made out of petals”
Words of a developmentally challenged kid or Lindsay? Trick question it is
both. Again, remember people, she is a TEACHER. Lindsay says that every time
she wants to tell Sean that she loves him, she becomes tongue tied, I wonder if
any of that has to do with how rapidly she resorts to kissing when her brain is
stalled. Ladies, if you love a man, just say it especially if you are on a show
that claims to be a method of finding love.
Everyone knows what the fantasy suite envelope
contains right? No one has ever needed it explained? Just noticed, Lindsay’s
dress is horrid.
Watching Sean and Lindsay in the fantasy suit is
just one word AWKWARD, she wanted to build up to an I love you and then it came
out rather forced, but I loved his response “I love hearing you say that”. I
have got to remember that technique.
It is now AshLee’s turn to kiss in lieu of using
words. Sean continues his theme of trying to make the girls panic: AshLee
freaks out that they have to swim through a cave. Another quick lesson to
anyone, when you are on a TV show not based on challenges then you never have
to fear the situations they place you in, they are going to take every
precaution to make sure their cash cow keeps on producing. Oh did you know
AshLee was abandoned as a child? If not, you have not listened to her talk for
more than 10 minutes.
Jamaica has got to throw some money ABC’s way,
we need to get the Bachelor to come to our island and get us some cheap
publicity like all these other touristy destinations. (To anyone reading this, the water in Jamaica looks much cleaner than the water in Thailand).
AshLee basically hints that she is fine with
giving up the cookies; she just does not want to do it if Sean is sharing
cookies with the other girls.
Sean gets AshLee to accept the fantasy suite invite by assuring her that all he wants to do is talk...millions of guys are now shaking their head thinking "no one ever believes me when I say that."
AshLee tells us her ring size, she went with the
“I think” method but we all know she knows exactly what her ring size is.
Catherine comes racing up the beach and the date
begins. Even hotties have insecurities – Catherine reveals body image issues.
I confess this date really really really really
bored me; I just could not get invested in it, even when Catherine basically
listed her entire life goals, marriage, and a baby. She gives a long speech
about the fantasy suite and then of course accepts the invite.
The Bachelor does a cheesy tie in with the new
Oz movie, no chance I see this in theaters, it looks like a chick flick wrapped
up in sci-fi, nothing in the trailer grabs me.
The girls get to leave Sean messages aka known
as, ‘I feel much safer talking to a camera than talking to you’ vignettes. Both
Catherine and AshLee break out the twins for their rose ceremony outfits,
Lindsay shocks me by dressing sedately, I guess the wedding dress sapped all
her fun outfits.
AshLee you tricky devil, dropping the water
works in your message to Sean, nice move, maybe too much, but I see what you
did there.
Lindsay gets the first rose and then the
producers force Sean to pause as long as possible before giving the 2nd
rose to Catherine…my prediction lives one more week! I hate to think this, but
I think Sean did not want to get with the woman older than him…AshLee I would
love to date you except I cannot stand your habit of bringing up the childhood
trauma, I know I am shallow and I would walk and talk you through it, but I
fear it would always be an argument ender.
Catherine notes that AshLee did not say goodbye
to them, what is with her and her concern for all the girls leaving? She does
know that this is a competition right? The 2 remaining girls have to stand in
their rose reception spots and stare out at Sean sitting on a bench mourning
the girl he just sent home…self-esteem on high!
Too soon to make the AshLey feels abandoned joke?
Look at the
big girl, she might be the single scariest fighting force in the world, she
throws a table, deflects a chair bare handed then catches another with just one
hand. She then stands amidst the chair bombs like nothing is happening. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=z0NCSPh4HvM
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