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Monday, February 25, 2013

It is the "Sean Tells All" episode of the Bachelor

(argh wrote this last week and forgot to post)

And I may or may not be watching this during my lunch break…I want to hate myself, I clearly do. I have a friend who is convinced that Chris Hanson is an amazing interviewer; I think I just lost a friend. An email deal just flashed in my inbox and it is for a chainsaw, I live in a condo, will never have use for a chainsaw and yet I really, really want it. But I digress; they are recapping Sean talking to Des' brother. Sean claims he wanted to hit him…why not just do it?

In the 'Tell All' there is a scene with Sean and the Bro in the exact same spot where the confrontation occurs and the Bro is laughing and joking with Sean and telling him how much he appreciates him. Is the Bro bi-polar? Is he doing it for the camera? Was he setting Sean up prison style for a later shanking? Look at those tats!

If so much had not already been made of Sean's virginity I would think he was going to slip it to Des on the side while the other 3 were still dating him. Their goodbye definitely had the lingering look of 'sex is on the table' and literally on the table.

Watching this without my DVR is painful; I never watch these "coming up on the Bachelor" promos that they run after every segment, I am already watching, already shamefully invested no need to force me to acknowledge the junk I am going to then have to see.

Sarah is described as a fan favorite, guess this means I went against America's wishes in wanting her off the show. Great, we now have to relive all the sob stories, I have already stated my case in other blogs but to be concise, this is like watching comedies and having them address serious issues, I do not watch you for this. (Looking clearly at you HIMYM, the whole Marshall's dad dying season long arc was a blight on your stellar resume).

Wow! Sean says kissing Sarah is what let him realize he couldn’t be with her, way to help her self-esteem there.

"Welcome back to a very special edition of the Bachelor" oh come on, this is barely a regular edition, no need to call it special and definitely no need for 'very'. They recap the Selma does not kiss Sean episode and even though I know the outcome I keep expecting to hear her say to Sean "but we can do hand-stuff".

"Yeah you know how daddy likes his brownie, give it to me" Sean says this to Leslie as she feeds him a brownie, it would have been so awesome if Robyn popped up just in that moment.

Argh never ever watching this show without my DVR again, so many promos for crappy shows, this 'Zero Hour' show is probably not making it to next season, I don’t think I even need to waste time watching the pilot I recorded.

And we get to the Tierra recap, really the only reason why anyone is watching this hour right? Sean thinks he was duped; well at least he is smart enough to realize that. He claims that no one pressured him into keeping Tierra, I want to believe him, but I cannot.

The fight that we saw between Tierra and Robyn was actually just a small portion of the fight that apparently went on for hours. Allow the cynic in me to present 2 arguments. 1. I wonder if the Tierra v Robyn portion of the fight was highlighted because the Bachelor needed to really show that there are minorities on the show and 2. I wonder if the Tierra v Robyn portion was featured because we have the crazy chick v the angry black chick narrative that they think we need to see. Okay no more cynic, back to regular recapping and mocking.

Ashley P., constantly reminds us that her mom is in love with Sean. Catherine passes notes to Sean, I am worried that my pick of her winning it all might be in jeopardy; then again he is goofy enough to love it all. Catherine can fit in the hub of a Snow truck wheel, I think she just did it to show off that she is flexible…I love it.

Sean lets us know that it is none of our business what happens in a fantasy suite. I agree and disagree, in a normal world it is not, but in a world where we are 'forced' to watch you court someone all season on camera, you better expect us to want to know what happens through to the 'end'.

Watching the promo for next week, I think someone ties Sean's ties for him – the 'Have Sean get dressed in front of the mirror' scene, looks like someone who does not know how to tie a tie.

This whole episode just solidified all my thoughts of this season, Sean is boring, insanely boring, and any spark we see is provided by the women around him. And the episode closes out with Sean showering set to porno music…have at it ladies.
Sean Lowe ended last night's episode of "Sean Tells All" in the shower for fans of "The Bachelor".

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.