Bachelor recap or…milking the one arm thing again

As always, slap-dashed together for a live blog with E. Her super-concise version is below my not so concise version

I am not sure I can do 2 straight days of this show. My first 30 minutes of the show is not a great recollection, my bro is in town and I was cooking dinner while watching the show in an attempt to quickly sneak in the show so he could not A. see it on my DVR and B. catch me watching it. 

They fly the girls out to Montana, at first I was thinking wow that has to be an expensive trip then I realized instantly how dumb that thought was, if you fly one you can fly all just rent a damn plane. 

Tierra does not hesitate to quickly show us the crazy, celebrating going on a date that all the other girls fear.

The girls do some weak-sauce competition with the big issue being they will have to end it all by drinking goat’s milk and there was actual hesitation – seriously? That is a problem? Drinking MILK! Of course the one-armed young lady mentions here arm as part of the challenge, but luckily it is not a challenge that will be hindered by the arm, or the lack thereof. I am beginning to think that Sean has a thing for watching girls engage in potentially harmful activities, he was beaming as those girls sawed a log. The girls that won are justifiably mad that they won the challenge but Sean still decides to bring the other girls on the date, Aaron loves that Selma got so pissed off that she spoke in the 3^rd person, though Aaron suspects she does it all the time. 

Tierra brings a whole bucket of crazy into the night by sneaking into Sean’s confessional time, which also lets us see Sean trying to turn on the charm for the camera when the producers ask him questions designed to entice great answers…DULL DULL DULL DULL DULL GUY. He should just walk around with his shirt off to keep the ladies enticed and piss guys like myself off (“don’t get mad, get motivated”). 

Ugh another girl uses the “this is like a fairy tale to me” line, I hate that, I cannot trust anyone who says that.

 Cut to Tierra and Jackie getting the date card info and I suddenly realize I want Tierra to win not just because I don’t want that bag of crazy cats to leave yet, but also because of the name of the contestant she is going up against, I should probably talk to a pro about that. 

Contestants’ comforting each other is just weird to me, I might mock Tierra, but she at least plays the game aggressively, I know you do not need to undermine a contestant, but no way am I propping you up. It has become a clear formula, cry in front of Sean, and get a rose, any girl who has not see that yet is blind.

Can ice form between 2 persons in a car? Because the drive to Sean with Tierra and Jackie was frosty! I wonder if the first time a Bachelor was told he was having a ’2 on 1’ date his first thought was “YES THREESOME”

Wow that date with Jackie was boring, I know she was trying her hardest to snitch on Tierra while not snitching but yeesh it led to a boring date, it led to me making up ice-cream combos in my head, and then going to the freezer to get them. Now I have my bowl filled with French vanilla, cupcake party and and fried ice-cream, no chocolate tonight. (sorry Robyn). Does ‘cosmetics consultant’ mean you work at a makeup counter? Cold blooded move ‘Bachelor’ Jackie’s limo is driving away and fireworks are going off, that is awesome sauce (Shout out to my co-worker).

Damn it, I got shocked by the one arm thing again, I am live blogging the show titled the post about it and it still shocked me, I can never get over it. I always wonder if people focus on my scar when they see me and now, I wonder even more, thanks ‘Bachelor’ for making me even more insecure.

 Desiree “it seems like he gives roses to girls who are having a hard time” yup she gets it, her brains such as they are come out more and more each week.

I taught a few ex-gf’s how to throw punches; it was something I thought they should know. But if anyone ever taught Tierra how to fight, they should be locked up forever!

Sean asks the girls about Tierra, gets an answer then says he is not getting the right answers, shocking! Just admit that you do not want to hear anything they have to say about her.

Tierra strikes again and Robyn goes home, though I cannot help but think that bad chocolate joke from last week had a part to play in it! 

Anf now E's recap; 

Just a few comments tonight:

Fake excitement over going to Montana. You know the girls are like meh.

I am 3 for 3 for not knowing the musical guest. Not surprising tonight since it was country, but still...

Any time Tierra speaks, I just think she is more psychotic. Her actions do nothing to make me think I'm wrong.

Wow, that Daniella went in for the kiss! She was all crying an then BAM! Hot kiss. Lol

Robyn was so flipping mad the whole night as soon as she found out the blue team was coming back. She didn't even  pretend to be happy.

All these shots of dead bears around the lodge are a little creepy.

So Robyn goes home.... Ohhhh noooo!!!  J/k she annoys me.