Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Episode 4 of the Bachelor or, how I wish they had gone to North instead of South Korea.

“Korea I don’t even have a kimono” So says one of the girls when she finds out they are going to SOUTH KOREA – of course none of the girls are smart enough to correct her that kimonos are Japanese. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul SistersThe girls collect their luggage and they each have more bags than I would if I packed all of my clothes up to move and I have a tonne of clothes. There is a tonne of B Roll of JP walking around Seoul trying to look like a confident tourist but to me he just looks confused.

The group date is at a K pop studio and they meet the group 2NE1 (a huge group in Korea, some of the girls pretend that they know who they are…I doubt they do).
Hmm JP hmm - "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul SistersThe girls are required to learn a dance and while I like to make fun of these girls, I had to learn dances sometimes for performances in high school and I had the hardest time picking up routines…I could mimic anything while the instructor was doing it, but once I could not follow a lead – Failure! Props to anyone that can quickly pick up a routine…it is tough!

Kat is ecstatic that the girls get to perform with 2NE1 (she is a dancer)"The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters. These girls are very ‘screamy’ they remind me of the HIMYM “Woo girls”.
“It was my childhood dream to be Britney Spears’ backup dancer” so sad, and says so much about girls on this show. The girls perform at a mall show with 2NE1 in front of thousands of fans and Kat thinks she is the star of the show; the other girls disagree via stinkfaces. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters

During the night time group date Kat goes off with JP and the other girls (especially Nikki) start talking about her behind her back, Kat says her dad had 7 DUIs, as someone who has defended DUI persons, that is scary to hear – but I really, really want to know what state he was/is in. In their confessionals all the girls call Nikki negative, Elise starts to hint it to JP but smartly does not snitch, you never want to be labeled the snitch too early. Cut to the hotel and Sharleen gets the one on one group date. Back to the group date Nikki gets the rose and a kiss and looks from the girls that they hope will melt her."The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters

Sharleen and JP go to a Korean market, to Sharleen’s credit, she tries everything offered. Sharleen seems too smart for JP and then we immediately cut to the hotel where a girl mentions that Sharleen has said “she is bored by him” – makes sense. Sharleen is so pretty, I can see why JP is fascinated by her, sadly she reminds me a tonne of my ex…so I cannot trust her that much (yes I just humble bragged that I dated a gorgeous girl – she was a singer too).

Sharleen sings for JP on her date (she claims that she never sings this early for a guy) "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sistersand they do their awkward kiss again they really just have terrible kissing chemistry. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul SistersJP claims that Sharleen is just like him, I think he has way more self-confidence than self-awareness. Sharleen pretty much tells him that she doesn’t want kids and she doesn’t want a pre-fab family (she didn’t like that a prior boyfriend had a child)"The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters and JP still gives her the rose…dude is sprung. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters

The 2nd group date begins in another market and they go to a Karaoke house – based on this show I would be convinced that the only things done in Korea are singing, and shopping and as with the 2NE1 show; singing in a mall so that people can shop and sing at the same time. I still have to do my daily 25 pushups but I think this show has sapped my will to live…so why exercise? They go to a date where the fish eat the dead skin off your feet in the water and the fish seem to all congregate around Renee’s feet. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters(not making an age joke)

As they walk around they are stared at by so many Koreans and I want to yell “THEY DO NOT REPRESENT US” but this was filmed months ago, in another country, it is on my TV and it is Time Delayed…but I still think I should try to warn them. Clare refuses to eat octopus, initially, but this is a show where she is competing with other girls to win a guy who just ate octopus, does anyone really believe she is not going to eat it? "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters

Kelly brings up a good point re what Clare has probably swallowed and the size discrepancy. (This might be why she is R's fave girl on her [I still hate R and E for making me watch this, but if I must, at least let's have entertaining girls on]) "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters

Renee really wants to kiss JP but her method of doing it is by bringing up his daughter - that killed any chance of a kiss. JP in his confessional says he is not going to kiss any girls on this group date.

Lauren S. in her one on one time tries to get “Un beso” a kiss but is refused by JP, it leaves her crying because he gave the excuse of “I have a daughter and I don’t want her to see her daddy kissing a bunch of girls” which she rightfully judges as BS – by his math and the Girls math, he has already kissed 6 girls."The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters
I have a soft spot in my heart for her because she is from Austin! Andi and Kelly bond over mocking Clare. Clare claims that she threw up in her mouth when trying octopus and then swallowed it back down (gross). Clare had also instituted a no kissing rule – she and JP break it"The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters…shocking.
Andi gets the rose and Clare gives the WTF look. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters

Cocktail party time and tension is high; and still no pushups by me. The girls had made a pact that those with roses would not interrupt the one on one time of those who did not have roses, and then Nikki breaks it and interrupts Clare’s date; I sense a clash of the blondes coming. JP brings up to Nikki that there is probably drama in the house and Nikki immediately suspects Clare of telling him stories. Kelly the dog lover is also apparently an instigator; she is sitting in between Nikki and Clare and brings up how awkward it is, this leads to a mini clash between the 2. – Re reading this paragraph makes me feel like I am in a high school clique, ‘I heard from, my friend’s best friend’s cousin that your sister said that my cousin told your friend to…’

Rose ceremony time and as always my brain has begun to shut down completely, Kelly the dog lover gets a rose, and while I hate that as a title, I think she helps to move the show along. Clare gets called for a rose and Nikki looks murderous. The final rose goes to Kat I guess her dancing helped. Elise and Lauren S. have to leave, Elise is wearing a terrible dress she asks “what could another girl have that I didn’t” and I involuntarily said out loud “a better dress”.
Lauren S. as she leaves laments trying to go in for the kiss, poor girl blames herself as she tries to analyze where she went wrong. "The Bachelor" GIF Recap Week 4: Seoul Sisters The source I get gifs from also let me know about Elise's "Sexy Xmas time" (x on purpose) video…check it out here. It is not as Porny as the headline sensationally claims (just skimpy outfits).

E warned me to mute my TV for the close out K pop song, but I could not resist I had to listen to it…she is right, it doesget stuck in your head.
We have a guest blogger today, who didn't know she would be guest blogging. E shared her thoughts to me via Email and I am just including it all here. I write my blog drafts as I watch the show and then afterwards hunt for pix and gifs etc., so it is always fun to see how the thoughts of others line up with mine. Enjoy:
"Okay, so I have to write down my thoughts and play by play commentary.

Clare: Korea?!? I don’t even have a Kimono.

People who are so sheltered and have no cultural experience just come off as idiots to me. Kimono is Japan. Even I know that isn’t a Korean thing, and I don’t know crap about either of those cultures. It just make me sad and embarrassed for America.

I’m fairly certain that I stayed at the same hotel as them when I was in Seoul. Yup, stayed there.

When he tells the girls where they are at for the group date, a very quick shot of Cheslie over-reacting excitement again. She is starting to get really irritating. And the head bobbing/shaking, it’s just weird.

I love Niki. She is cracking me up. She’s been one of my favorites since the first night, but I think I can relate because I would be like oh hell no with a dancing date. I don’t know why the girls don’t like her. Okay, talking a little crap is no good, but I don’t think she’s a bitch or really negative. Again, maybe she reminds me of me. LOL So of course she’s not doing anything wrong.

Kat, the people are not cheering for you and taking pictures and video of you. OMG.
And the 21 yr old with the kid? I thought she was a dancer? She looks so stiff.

JP’s biggest fear? Not being a good example for his daughter. Maybe he shouldn’t call gay people perverts for all the world to hear.

Elyse, have you learned nothing about talking bad about the girls to the Bachelor?? Sheesh.

I wanted to like Sharlene, but I am starting to not feel so hot on her. I don’t dislike her but she’s just sort of meh. And she kisses really weird.

Obligatory JP shower scene!!

Ok, Sharlene date… high wasted shorts? Nope. No. She’s also kind of rude and bossy. She just acts like she’s better than all of “this.” It makes her unlkeable. And the kissing wasn’t quite as awkward this time, but lots of lip biting.

Second group date… YESSS Dr. Fish. I love it. If these girls don’t cackle like crazy and scream they are robots. Ok. They’re human. Same reaction as me. But it took me 10 minutes to stop laughing and squealing.

Poor Rene, she can’t seem to get the moment for the kiss. And JP is such a hypocrite. Like kissing 6 girls is better than 20. Sigh. I like how with Andi they edited it to make it seem like she wants to dig a little deeper, and didn’t want to make out…HA. And then he kisses Clare. He’s so lame. And I think Clare may end up being the crazy one from this point on.

At the beginning of the rose ceremony he said “all of you” and it sounded like he said “I love you.” This is not the first time that has happened. Or did he say I love you?


The girl who had the meltdown on the group date looks like she made no effort at all tonight. And I was not very surprised at who went home. Still at the point of getting rid of the riff raff.

It’s funny watching the girls walk away in high heels on that ancient stone walkway.

They’re going to Vietnam next. This should be fun to watch for me.


No comments:

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.