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Sunday, August 07, 2016

Bachelorette recap or my hometown can be more boring than your hometown.

Home town dates begin and I continue to realize I am utterly bored by Jojo (J).

Number 1:

We start with Chase and he immediately starts with his sob story...he comes from a broken home, which he shares with J as they lie on a bear skin (I think) rug overlooking a snow tinged town. J is going to have to meet Chase's parents separately.
Chase's dad shows up and Chase digs into the divorce with his dad, seems perfectly reasonable to do in front of a camera and nation. The dad asks if Chase is thinking about consequences, Chase brushes that off...maybe you should listen to the man who went through a divorce!
The meeting with the mom is with a much larger family group. The divorce is the main topic of convo, J and the mom think it is why Chase might be a bit withdrawn - Imagine how much more he will be when he doesn't get picked! Chase's sister thanks him for the experience, which makes me think the production hooked up the house and the food (well we know they definitely cater the food). Chase tells J that he is falling in love with her J says "You never say stuff like that, that is how I know it is real."

Chase tells us he hates goodbyes. 

Number 2:

J goes to Chico, CA and calls it beautiful, it can be...but there are a tonne of us who live in So Cal and know that there is much more to Chico than beauty (google it).
Jordan takes her to his high school - I am always wary of people who use High School as the point of their best and most important memories. Especially the guys who were hot shot athletes! Jordan claimed he never had a serious high school girlfriend, J thinks "maybe I can be his new high school sweetheart" maybe misunderstanding that not having a serious girlfriend is not the same as not having had any girlfriends!

J constantly brings up the fact that Aaron Rodgers wont be there solidifying my belief that Jordan (Aaron Rodgers' Brother ARB) is the front runner because she wants to get close to Aaron. The mom calls ARB her "spicy child" apparently he would try to run away constantly.
ARB's mom practically cuddles with him when he tells her he likes J, I can see why Aaron would not want to be a part of this. J tells us that she stops herself from telling ARB that she loves him because she remembers how hurt she was when Ben told her those words and then rejected her.

Number 3,
Robbie in St Augustine, FL - and he and I own the same shirt - he is fitter than me but it looks better on me (take that, guy who doesn't know me from Adam).
They start off in a horse drawn carriage, the illusion that he ordered it himself is destroyed when he has to introduce himself to the coachman.
J tells Robbie that she is worried about the timeline of Robbie breaking up with his ex and then getting on the show.

Robbie's dad tells J to call him coach - let it go bro. J asks Robbie's mom if she thinks Robbie is over his ex that he just broke up with. J tells the mom that she is falling in love with Robbie. Robbie's mom warns him that the streets are talking: His ex's roomie "has made it look you broke up to go on the show." So Robbie goes and takes J away from talking to his sisters to reassure her that he is serious about the relationship with J and that he is here for wait for it "the right reasons." J asks if he broke up with his ex when he found out that he was coming on the show, J insists that he tells her the truth, he keeps repeating that it is not true. He says the relationship "was over 9 months before it actually ended." He says they had a blow up fight at the end of December and she slapped him (shame, no one male or female should ever put their hands on a partner).

Number 4:
Luke and of course he has a pickup, though it looks brand new and I want to think it is his, but I suspect rental.. They go to a massive family picnic/outing - and Luke gives a speech about how much family means to him. He seems to have a great family but this date is boring, watching grass grow might be more energetic.
It marginally gets better when he leads her into a field and takes her down a path lit by lanterns and ending in a heart made out in flowers..but it just comes across as cheesy and still lacks passion, he is a great looking guy but it all just strikes me as a guy who saw a 'Western Romantic Novel' book cover once.

The Rose Ceremony:
Is at a private Airport Hangar the forced metaphor is strong with this one. J shows up in a blue dress that looks painted on (or more accurately taped on). J cries a lot and tells us that she has to say goodbye to Luke this is said before the rose ceremony even starts! The camera keeps focusing on Luke while J pauses and holds the first rose, Luke then asks "Jojo, can I talk to you for a sec?" They go to the side and Luke tries to reassure her that he was being honest when he told her that his heart was hers, and now proceeds to tell her that he is in love with her. BUT, she only hugs him when he says that and I think he is starting to realize that she is not going to tell her the same...This causes her to walk away from him and from the group, I fear that he is going to be the next Bachelor and it is going to be such a boring season.

Dreaded - To be Continued!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.