Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Inability to study, whores and cushions!

You know, trying to study for a PR final after already taking the National test for professional responsibility kind of feels like having sex with the town whore and then afterwards reaching into your pocket to play with the unused condom – it just seems redundant at that point.

Why do professors constantly post practice exams and then not put answer keys along with them? It seems like a tease: “You could be right with your answer then again you could be way off, but we have decided not to let you know either way” This doesn’t happen in real life, it’s not like you do a drivers ed practice run, hit a couple cars but then parallel park perfectly and the instructor just walks out of the car without giving you answers on how to improve!  

Are cushions disappearing from the LRC? Each day I enter this place and there seem to be less cushions and more bare chairs. I do not entertain the thought of peeps taking them out since 4 squares of toilet paper give better padding than those crappy cushions so where the hell are they going?

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.