Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Chasing after tow trucks and leaving houseguests

So tonight I had to dash across the street and across the Trader Joe's parking lot in PB to go 'rescue' the car. The car was being raised unto the tow truck and lucky for me I was able to catch the tow guys before they decided to tow us. I truly got lucky, my car was the last car set to be towed. The only thing that saved me from getting towed according to the tow truck guys was where I had it parked, they had already towed other cars and were 'getting' to mine.

Line of the night (when all of us are back in the car and heading 'home' [more on that in a sec]) my houseguest turns to me at 2am and says "I guess that sign that says cars cannot be parked here after 1am was true" Me: "what, there was a sign? why didn't you warn me?" Guest: "Oh I figured you just knew" Me: "Do you think if I had seen that sign I would still be in the bar at 2am?" Guest: "Oh!" I think that is what saved the car; Karma knew that if I had come back to find the car towed and had the above exchange I might have had an aneurysm. I also blame the soon-to-be-ex-wife for my not seeing the sign since I was on the phone with her when parking and clearly my house guest who was co-pilot cannot be trusted to warn the driver.

Bonus is that for tonight I am home alone since my houseguest is currently enjoying one of the perks of the San Diego lifestyle (and maybe using Lifestyles) the ability to always find a person to go home with. Ok so before my boy calls me out in this space - it still counts as going home with someone even if your host is kind enough to drive you to the other house, watches a football game there and then blatantly hints that he is willing to leave you there.

That was 2xs in less than 3 days I have gotten an opportunity to openly mock my colleague and make him submit against his will. Savor the rare moments.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.