Infrequently updated consistently funny

Saturday, May 19, 2007

You know you did the right thing...

When the friend you forced to crash at your appt and not drive, immediately passes out before you could turn off the light and you know that you prevented them from driving. Remember my friends "buzzed driving is drunk driving". I am so sick re the fact that $500 plus dollars is on my credit card thanks to drinking and rolling VIP in the club.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.