Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, January 01, 2007

"Happy New Year...now stop peeing on the side of that building"

For the most part the ‘Klique’ escaped 2007 without incident. Celebrated my 2nd New Year’s Eve in America last night (normally in JA for NYE), sincerely hope that mono is not going around LA because I did my part in trying to catch it last night.

I love American traditions that involve you kissing multiple persons…I know the tradition really says you should kiss one person, BUT – by a happy coincidence I happened on a pair of hot young lasses right at midnight while looking for my original group. The chance meeting led to me having a great midnight when I was allowed to make out with each girl in turn and then get to utter the words “Now all together” Thank you MTV Spring break shows for showing me how to act with decorum at alcohol fueled events.

If I had only stopped there maybe I would feel better about how the year started but eh…what is life without chances. Anyway the rest of the Klique seemed to have a great night for the most part, even if it did end with a couple dry whistles and an anguished “Did she really just Say she gives good head?” exclamation.

Sometimes as a group we joke about having ‘Sugar mommas’ and I kid about being an official “G.O.L” (gentleman of leisure) but after last night when those young ladies graciously offered us a spot at their VIP table, which meant that we got to start the New Year’s off with bottle service, I could get used to that life. What I do not think my body could get used to is my polishing off bottles of vodka by myself. Just because it looks like water does not mean it has the same properties of water. But as I told myself last night “Damn it I am bloody thirsty” I knew it was getting bad when I stopped adding chasers because they were starting to taste too ‘sour’. I now know though that vodka mixed with champagne is not bad at all. Still not as good as Kir Royal (champagne and Chambord - Which I chugged a tonne of) but not a bad combo.

While writing this I just found out why random money appeared on the table. Apparently one of the girls was trying to pay one of our group to go talk to her friend, which backfired since he started making out with her which pissed off the chick because she wanted to make out with him.

Thankfully the drunk dialing was kept to a minimum and the drunken stumbles home were accomplished with little incident…except for one member of our group realizing that with his bladder full of alcohol there was no chance of him making it home, so a stop to use the side of a building was necessitated. Only problem with that plan was that the walk was on Hollywood Blvd and this led to the above member of the entourage having to rapidly zip up his pants and run from the boys in blue. Everyone is concerned about the environment but stop to water some plants and cops freak out!

Nothing like walking home with two girls on your arm – the image is great!

4 comments:

Dr. D. said...

Sounds like you started the New Year the right way! ;-)

Crankyputz said...

Nice! happy new years!

Abeni said...

Image is everything:) Happy New Year CaliJ

Blah Blah Blah said...

I din't know that champagne and Chambord had an actual name. I love it.

You sound like you had a blast.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.