Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

How to deal!

So my boy Dels and I just had a convo about much of the bad things we have probably done in our lives that we probably deserve to pay badly for. Yes I am no saint I realize that, but cot damn some things just aren’t right when you hear it from your ex. At the same time I don’t lie to anyone…to all my exes and pseudo exes, sadly more of the latter than the former anything you need to know I will tell you the truth or I just wont tell you at all, but I wont mislead you down the prim rose path to spring something on you days later. If we are talking about something and let me pull a scenario; Say we are talking about messing around with people in the military and I tell you that I don’t have any friends that it has ended well for, if you tell me yeah it doesn’t go well and “Yeah I avoid military guys” to a bloodclaut day later tell me you messed with some military guy the week before is the foundation of a lie. It may not be a lie to a girl, but you ask any guy and they will tell you that you were a girl hiding something. If our convo is about what you were doing the week before and you neglect to mention that the military was apart of it, trust me the only conclusion is that you lied to me about it… Ask any guy clip that Ask any guy with BALLS. Cause to be honest ladies while you have your breasts in our faces most guys wont be able to think and we may tell you what you want to hear, but the truth is that a cover-up of an escapade is just as bad as the escapade… I don’t give a Rass if you do it here or in rassclaut Germany. Fire bun di fassy!


"A couple of 'em said I was cute but I was just too chubby
Same size a year later the same hoes wanna fuck me
...They know that I got it made, I'm a motherfuckin baller
She would want a nigga now but I ain't got no time to call her
I'ma stall her like she stalled me, now she tryin to call me
Bitch I'ma dog yo' whole ass like you dogged me"
--'Back then' by Mike Jones

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Could be worse, at least she didnt tell you she was getting double anal from mexican midgets who stopped by her house to sell her chiclet but instead ended up giving her jorchata.

Maria Elisa said...

WTF!?!

Shotta M said...

or maybe that wouldn't be so bad if she were honest about the midgets in the first place?

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.