Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Pre-pre Birthday Celebrations; foie gras and Kobe beef

Will blog more, tired now (I know I say that every time and never do but this time I will try). Stingaree was fun, mad chicks, will I call? Maybe. Mad love to Milton for taking me out, props to the girls for showing me a good time.

Smooth nights always start with good friends and good drinks. Good nights also end with the ability to take someone home. Great nights end with you making the right decision.

Tonight was a GREAT night! More to come (or maybe not).

Hmm should add this part
Her: "You should take us back to your place"
Me: "Uhmm no, that is ok I am just going to go home alone"
Her: "No take us home with you"
Me: (Faking answering the phone) "Oh you need help at your place?" "Sorry, y'all I am not going home nice to meet you" (sudden running)


swiffer sheet v said...

Cockblocking yourself instead of me for a change, that is a new one. The ladies must have been fat or ugly. I am not sure if the comment makes senses.

aarond said...

You need to stop calling it cock blocking when all I do is take you to the bar abandon you to give you room, ignore you all night so that peeps do not think I am with you and then the one time when you come to talk to me some chicken punk bitch suddenly goes, "Oh no she is with the 'scary' black guy". If you want to go home with guys that might have the same lower region plumbing as you do and lack testicular fortitude then you will have to step to them...ha

swiffer sheet v said...

We must clarify this issue. It was several guys who thought we were together. They did not approach me until you were out of sight. Here are some real quotes...

Aussie Boy: Is that your boyfriend? (you were outside when this occurred)

Boston Boy: How come your boy is not paying?
Me: He is not my boy. He drove me from San Diego to San Francisco so I owe him.
(funny thing is only one drink was yours on my entire tab).

Berkeley Boy: Is that your boyfriend over there?

I could go on with more to prove my point. Granted you do give me space but they still think we are together.

aarond said...

Hahah ok let us take it further.

"have you met my friend v? Take her home, no seriously she is not with me, no go for it"

"Hey you should walk into the bar ahead of me that way we wont look like we are together"

"Damn that chick over there is hot, you go talk to that guy, I am going to have a seat over here and do my thing, while you do your thing" (The dive bar in oakland/berkely I have no idea where that boundary starts)

swiffer sheet v said...

I do not remember any of this...hence being inebriated...

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.