Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Things to consider 7.11

I cannot believe that I now actually have the valid concern of "I wonder if my hair is dry enough, so that I can lie down on my pillow"...I did not realize just how much hair I have until I took my braids out.

Apparently I got more sun than I thought last week since my forehead is now peeling like old wallpaper.

Today is going to be a great day gastronomically, Korean BBQ for lunch (mounds of meat) and then for dinner, Jerk BBQ chicken pizza with an Asian Salad (have to at least try to be somewhat healthy)

I should never ever...ever, 'eva eva' buy cookies again. White chocolate chip cookies were created by 'the man' to ensure that people like myself cannot fit into clothes. I bought a pack of cookies that claim 2 cookies per serving, 12 servings per package, last night. I now have about 4 servings left...damn it.

Either my cousin has been kidnapped by aliens or I am going to kill him for not staying in touch (yes I have conveniently forgotten that the phone works both ways...I am older by 4 months, just like my brother is older than his by a couple months...weird how that worked out...the younger should stay in touch with the elder...I called last)


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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.