Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Mini rant.v2.332...damn you need help

Seriously, can you bloody stay single? Being single for 2 weeks is not an accomplishment and it is not impressive when you spent much of the first week in 'mourning'.

Why are you unable to just do the random 'get over it' hook-up that most people do? Why does everything with you have to turn into a relationship? Are you kidding me, he slept with you, so you now have to date? Cot-damn you are clingier than a barnacle.

I feel so, so, so bloody ashamed that you have the authority to claim me as an ex. Crazy thing is the realization of how much I pity you came to me while I was shaving. If you spent as much time studying as you spent under dudes there would be nothing you could not accomplish. "Now go out there and be somebody" (edit: sorry even in a rant the Cali-J cannot help but quote Chappelle...if you know where the reference is from you then know what he is hinting at having done :) )

Stay single, enjoy solitude for a bit, not every guy that smiles at you is right for you, oh and tell your friend that I said I am sorry I did not call her back...

3 comments:

swiffer sheet V said...

hmmm......

Lyoness said...

single is overrated.

aarond said...

you would say that

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.