Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Sex with a sign post, now that is classy!

How on earth does someone perform a solo sex act with a traffic sign?

Keith Richards is a SICK BASTARD seriously you sick thought snorting your dad was respectful? If he lives to be a hundred and fifty like he claims he will, there is hope for us all.

I absolutely love that I now have full screen (full access) google maps capability on my phone with gps locating and it is free...All that is left is for me to access the street view feature and I might start singing in traffic.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.