Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, August 02, 2007

UT is awesome for sex! Much better than USD...(I have heard)

Researchers at my old school have come up with 237 reasons why people have sex. No shock that a school with over Fifty thousand students would find out all the various reasons for having sex. I might be the SCV but I am sure I know a few good reasons for trying to get milady to lower her draw bridge.

Just a few off the top of my head.
- You're cold
- Horny
- Partner is horny
- Bored
- Awake
- Full
- Have free time
- She's hot
- She's willing
- Butter face
- It's her sister
- Her mom
- Cause you can
- She is awake
- You're awake
- She smiled
- You are drunk
- You are sober
- You are alive
- She is breathing
- She is easy
- She is easy with booze in her
- She is difficult and you finally got a shot
- You finally got the apartment to yourself
- Your roomie is passed out on the couch
- No one in school knows you are sleeping with her so you feel sexy having sex with her
- You deny that you are having sex with her, then have sex in a classroom cause it feels right
- She pissd you off
- Her friend is a slut
- It feels good
- You have to prove that, "seriously that has never happened before"
- You saw her name on the bathroom wall
- No seriously, "oh oh oh oh oh" is something people say cause it feels really really good.

8 comments:

The Krazy Gringo said...

what about because:
she thinks I'm great in bed and I like what it does for my ego
I like the fuck faces she makes
it's just nice to know that I can have it when I want it
it's raining
it's sunny
practice makes perfect
I need the exercise
she wants to and I like making her happy
some primal instinct compells me to
when you're in love it's really really really good

Ashish said...

...cos shes easy when shes full on Keystone light! HOOK EM! \\m//

Anonymous said...

My two cents:
- she said she never would
- for revenge

justacoolcat said...

I think I like your list better.

aarond said...

Thanks cat. I like some of the lists that have been sent to me via email and this. Most peeps will not realize just how much the Keystone reference by Ash would crack me up, but man I remember that 'awesome' beer from sorority parties and believe me/Ash...it helps to create lists

swiffer sheet V said...

I am speechless. Full? Butterface? You sleep with her to get to the slutty roommate? You forgot because you secretly want to sleep with fatty or an ugly girl or even a midget. The UT professor who did this study Cindy Meston, also runs the sex lab at UT.

Meatball said...

you forgot
-you are hogging
-she is left handed
-you bought her dinner
-you hate her
-its Tuesday
-you have morning wood
-its a bad idea

Rachel said...

Dude. Since when does anyone need a reason for sex? Hey-oh!

Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.