Infrequently updated consistently funny

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Austin would be paradise...

…Except for the fact that I am allergic to it…I had not been here an hour before I started developing a scratchy throat; runny nose and itchy eyes, bloody hay/cedar fever! I had forgotten how bad it can be out here. My sorrow in missing the ATX somehow managed to bury the pain I used to feel living here. I remember weeks on end passing with me only having a vague idea of time passing I was so high on allergy medication. The week I blew out my knee, between the pain medication and the allergy pills I was lucky to remember my name…I think I started drooling on the pillow when I came to Austin – I never did that growing up…”I don’t like the drugs but the drugs like me”

MUCH LOVE TO THE PRINCESS of the ATX for putting me up and throwing a dinner party to welcome me in. And I appreciate y’all trying to make me feel welcome by rolling over and taking that ass kicking from me in dominoes. I love kicking it here on the 3rd coast but y’all just cannot hang with my west coast domino skills. If the billiards playing out here is like the dominoes I am going to wreck shop 2nite. On a serious note the food was great and the company was awesome…sorry for the trash talking (I am not a nice person – but I love y’all).

To my readers who are not from the ATX , Z has been threatening me with an ass kicking in billiards for so long that now I am afraid to sleep at night – in fact she threatened me in front of everyone to sleep with one eye open: Of course now that I am blinded with allergies and hopped up on Benadryl she might have a chance. Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt

Later today I have to go shopping for Texas gear: I followed the PCU rule as pointed out by soon to be ex-wife #1 that “you can’t wear the shirt of the band that you are going to see” so as such I have not brought any Texas gear with me (well except for the Technomarine – I can’t go a week without something burnt orange) in the hope that I will obtain a tonne of new Texas apparel…can I get on the plane with a shotty?

So I am sitting here in the ATX public library, because I wanted to look up my gym’s locations in town, as well as peruse Texas stuff online. I lived in the ATX for a long time and never set foot in the public library and now the first day I am back I register as a library user?

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.