Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, March 20, 2006

Random musings...

- Why is my refrigerator’s Brand name ‘Hotpoint’?
- Do I only watch all these UPN comedies because I am black?
- Why am I still so addicted to the shop at home network? I never buy anything – I think 99.5% of the stuff on the network is ugly and the other 0.5% is over priced. Occasionally I see things on there and go “DAMN 6 watches for $100, I should definitely get that, wait a minute what the hell brand is Miscoggie?”
- Why the hell do I love her?
- Why the hell do I suddenly have the urge to watch movie after movie? Shouldn’t the $10.50 a pop eliminate that desire?
- Why can I not stop eating sushi? I mean come on ordering sushi in Mexico was just plain crazy and risky: Assassin that was probably riskier than riding the ATV’s with no protective gear whatsoever!
- Why after all my rants about MTV am I now watching the Gauntlet II?
- Seriously what the hell am I now watching on UPN?
- This is sad but why do I now miss ‘Flavor of Love’?
- Why do I have hope for ‘The New Adventures of Old Christine’? Someone from Seinfeld must be able to support a comedy.
- How comes I have not died from these pills yet?
- How is it that no matter how they look and how many pairs I have seen, I am still FASCINATED by boobs?
- Do professors truly believe that scheduling a mid term right after Spring Break is beneficial to students?
- Do marriages created through E-harmony really last? Every time I see our west law rep in the ad I have to pause the DVR and watch it
- When did the switch occur – is it because I am older? I suddenly watch a tonne of CBS programming and not a single program on NBC…this happened before ‘Joey’ though I am sure for others that would cause a switch.
- What possessed me to leave the island?
- Did skittles really think that an ad featuring a beard eating candy was a good campaign?
- Do I really love her?

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.