Infrequently updated consistently funny

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Texas update #1

So I figured I should, give some update to my loyal readers about the Great Texas Adventure of the Cali-J. So over various blogs I will update y’all as to some of the various activities and things that I got involved in. So first off the song of the week was without a doubt, “I’m in love with a stripper”…and no I did not actually fall in love with a stripper, but I came close! So sadly I found out that one of my boys is addicted to strip clubs and then I met the girl of one of my boys who was going to begin her stripping debut, the day I flew out. She dropped this gem on me: “What’s the difference between a stripper and a cocktail waitress?...2 weeks” (and if you don’t get that let it marinate and then ask a friend) Ironically his girl had only been working at the club as a waitress for 2 weeks exactly when she began to strip.

So if you are from the Deep South you know that the proper pronounciation for the word stripper is Scrip-puh (with heavy emphasis on the puh). So how did “In love with a Scrip-puh” become the anthem for the trip? Well I guess it had a lot to do with the fact that within 5 minutes of meeting my boy’s girl, she dropped her top and showed me as well as my 2 homies that were with me her boobs (it was awesome)! There is no better introduction to someone than for them to strip bare! The night was supposed to end with her streaking, but sadly/fortunately the night ended too abruptly for that.

I guess tomorrow I have to blog about Ms. 70 though I have a feeling my ex will not appreciate that, plus my views on how many peeps a girl can sleep with before she is considered a ho will not be well viewed by my female viewers.

1 comment:

Dr. D. said...

Sounds like you were seeing nuff skin Texas! ;-)

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.