Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, August 28, 2006

K-Fed sucks and Big ups to Cham!

As I type this I am listening to the ocean lap against the beach, it is kind of comforting, moving is such a sucky experience and for me it is a prolonged one since my new space is not quite ready so my stuff has to go in storage until hopefully this weekend.

I see that Cham (formerly Baby Cham) has debuted at #53 on the billboard charts. Not a bad debut for a reggae artist whose main airplay is on the east coast and whose hit lead single has been out for ages and has finally gained some recognition on American airwaves. I hope to see more out of Cham (out of Sherlock Crescent) so that hopefully more peeps will know that there is more to dancehall than Sean Paul.

If you have not yet seen the Kevin Federline performance at the Teen Choice Awards last week go to youtube.com and check it out, the humor value is worth the crappy video.

By the way Britney is the perfect poster child for any stop teen pregnancy campaign, just show how she is now and how she used to be to young teen girls that should help them…another thing on the K-Fed performance I love that the best person on the mic was probably his DJ…

Oh and is it too much to ask Mr. Federline that when you are performing at an awards show called the TEEN Choice Awards that you not use language so vulgar that they have to edit out not just a word but complete sentences of your song, damn wannabe hood rat!

Screw it let us just rip that performance a little…
- Look damn it man you are not a superstar when you have never released an album, a song, a clip or anything that is a hit so stop bloody calling yourself one in your song…”Don’t hate cause I am a superstar”????? Really? The man must have brass ones
- Your wife funds you and your career, it is just weak to sing and boast about the Cars that you have
- You made your career as a dancer, you snagged your sugar momma as a dancer, and your rapping is not even passable: Throw a few dance steps into your performance.
- Though: Since rumor has long had it that you were Brit’s drug supplier and not actually a decent dancer the fact that you had other dancers on stage to do the dancing for you…oh screw it I hate creating conspiracies I just like reading them
- The best thing about your performance was the little kids dancing at the start of it…
- In fact I thought each of those kids might have been you, and I was not the only one; that does not bode well for your career
- Your song says your take care of your own “That’s my family” Really with whose money?
- Everytime the crowd went nuts while you were on stage it was while one of your dances was doing some cool routine: take note of that!
- Do not allow Britney back out of the house until she returns to the Pre-Federline look
- "I'm happy," says Federline, whose first album is due in October. "I think I pulled it off pretty well. (But) I'm overly critical of myself." No you are not otherwise you would have manned up and said “My performance sucked”
- Tell your wife that the secrets of the universe are not contained in chewing gum and that she can appear on TV without constantly chewing the damn thing
- I must confess I secretly wanted you to do even worse than you did: I think you suck that much
- Are we going to look back on your career and realize that “Popozao” was actually a highlight?

1 comment:

Abeni said...

Don’t hate cause I am a superstar”????? Really? The man must have brass ones

LOl,so true

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.